"Talent Show" - Episode 18 of Gopher's Gateway

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“Talent Show”
Episode 18 of Gopher’s Gateway

Written by Sean Sporman

New York Tertiary Civic Center-Hall Forty-seven
Thousands of fans crowded the place known as New York Tertiary Civic Center’s Forty-seventh hall in anticipation of a great concert. There were no empty seats; they had been sold out weeks before. Then, the crowd became quiet when the PA announcer began. “Welcome fans, now it’s the girl you have been waiting for, famous singer, Britney Spears.
The fans cheering surpassed the safe-decibel limit, but they didn’t care about that. However, they did care about what was happening on the stage. Because, instead of a bright and upbeat Britney Spears, she was on her knees and crying. Why was she crying? Her talent was gone. It was that simple.

Hueytown Academy-OPS
Heather Allgood sat in temporary command of the largest school of the nation. Not anything like a typical office, this OPS contained technology designed for interstellar star vessels.
Nearby, Lucy Camden and Brooke Stephens sat at their stations.
Heather was studying a PADD that Lucy had just given her.
Giving her a few seconds to read over it, Lucy then asked, “So, what do you think?”
“It’s seems like something Sean would do. And, that means it has to be good.”
“Yeah.” Lucy responded, smiling, “Now the school sports teams are not selected by ability, but by anyone who wants to play. And, it’s not taken seriously because it’s just a game. Also, the cheerleaders are of course there and any girl that wants to be a cheerleader can be one too.”
“Sounds like Sean alright.” Brooke commented.
“Also sounds like Communism.” Commented Jonathan Reeves, who had stopped by in OPS.
“Oh, you pessimist. Look at the bright side of things like Sean does!” Heather replied, and Jonathan walked away and out of OPS, defeated again.

Hueytown Academy-Pool 14 Control Station
Sean Sporman stood alone in the control center of Pool 14. While most pools just had a pool and a lifeguard stand, this control center sat above the pool in a pressurized room. The pool control station had the usual LCARS computer database, but also had an emergency transporter for the lifeguard or stray swimmer, pool filter controls, water level and temperature controls as well as an emergency defense shield and stun phaser bank that could be controlled by one of the primary staff.
Sean was here to replicate some Starfleet wetsuits by request of some people. Suddenly, he saw someone walk in. It was Rachel Waters, still wearing her Starfleet uniform. “Hi, Rachel.” Sean greeted.
“Hey, Sean.” Replied Rachel, “So, what are you up to?”
Sean had completed the replication and transportation sequence. “Just normal maintenance and patrol. What brings you to Pool 14 control station?”
“I needed to ask you something.” Just as Rachel began her question, an alarm in Pool Control Station fourteen went off. The two turned to see June Gabert, but she had no weapons. In fact, she wore a female Lieutenant’s Starfleet uniform.
Before either Sean or Rachel could react, June spoke. “Hey, Sean. I’m here to say that I’m done being evil. I want to join your staff.” Rachel and Sean looked at each other in shock.

Jefferson County Board Of Education Headquarters-Main Office
Andy Blackerby, superintendent of the Jefferson County School System, relaxed by himself in his own office. “Computer, status of Pittman Two?”
“Pittman Two is online at 100% systems efficiency.” The computer replied, in its usual friendly voice.
Kay Lindsay, assistant superintendent, walked into the room. “Hey, Andy.”
“Kay, what a pleasant surprise.” Replied Blackerby.
“So, about that dirigible…”

Hueytown Academy OPS
“Yeah,” Heather Allgood continued her conversation with Lucy Camden, Brooke Stephens and now Meagan Hall, “He’s even made holographic recreations of the best play-by-play announcers and color commentators from the best Nintendo 64 and Playstation video games.”
“Which ones?” Meagan inquired.
Heather took in a breath before continuing. “According to this information, Sean’s got a primary team and a secondary lone announcer for each sport. For Baseball, he’s got Electronic Arts’ Triple Play 2000’s and the one from Konami’s Bottom of the 9th for Baseball; Acclaim’s NFL Quarterback Club 99 and Sega’s Joe Montana Sportstalk Football for Football; Acclaim’s NBA Jam 99 and Konami’s NBA In the Zone for Basketball; and finally Electronic Art’s FIFA 99 and Konami’s International Superstar Soccer 64 for Soccer. And, just in case, he’s got the old Genesis ‘Sportstalk’ announcer as a backup for all of them. He hasn’t decided on the others yet.”
Heads turned to see Sean, Rachel and one other enter the room. Heather, Lucy and Meagan gasped in shock. “June? What are you doing here?” Heather inquired.
June smiled. “I’m a good person now. Being bad was giving me a bad rep, I didn’t have many friends. Sean, even through continuous attacks and even death threats, continued to offer me a way out by joining his side. I’m now glad to help. Hey, I do know how to use this cool technology.”
Sean could not help but smile at June’s statement. A few seconds later, Jordan Reeves, in civilian clothing walked in.
“So, Jordan, found your uniform uncomfy again?” asked Lucy.
Jordan laughed it off as he headed to one of OPS computer monitors. “Computer, AT&T Cable channel five, NBC 13 news on monitor five.” He turned around. “You people ought to see this.”
Everyone in OPS turned to eye monitor five as Mike Royer reported. Sean remembered when he was NBC’s weatherman. “…And the investigation continues as Paul McCartney, a former Beatle; and John Anderson of the famous band Yes concerts failed last night. Hospital doctors and nurses theorize that it may be stage stress, or possibly a slight illness. It should be noted that Britney Spears concert also failed. All three have gotten together in Nashville to possibly together find a reason. Now, Ken, how about the Cubs beating the White Sox by twenty-three?” Jordan then deactivated monitor five.
“Hmm…” Sean thought aloud, as June spoke up.
“So, when do we eat around here?” June asked.
Sean laughed. “Have you seen Hueytown Academy’s famous lunchroom?”
June nodded no.
“Heather, Lucy, Meagan, Brooke, are any of you hungry?”
“Nope.” All four said at once. Jordan groaned.

Nashville Neato Rooms Hotel- Room 470
“Oi, nutter. In my forty years in signing this said incident has not happened to me bloody once!” Paul McCartney sighed in frustration, as he sat a table, with a cold half-drunken cup of coffee in front of him.
“Well, could be some kind of disease?” John Anderson asked to the other two at the table.
“I don’t know.” Britney Spears said, “but I think that I know someone who could help.”
“And who would that be?” asked Christina Aguleira, who had just entered the room.
“Sean Sporman.” Replied Britney Spears. “He commands a school in Alabama that uses DOD technology. And, he’s kind of cute too.” Britney smiled. “Anyway, I think we should go there.”
The four agreed instantly. They would head for Hueytown, Alabama.

Hueytown Academy Cafeteria
Sean Sporman and newest ally June Gabert entered the lunchroom of Hueytown Academy. But, this was no ordinary school lunchroom. Along the walls of the two-story complex were over ten of the United States fast food restaurants, in booths similar to the one found at the Galleria. The tables were of multiple configurations and all had embedded LCARS panels on them.
“Wow. I just wish I had been on your side all along.” June remarked. “Where will you be eating from?”
“Chick Fil’ A.” Sean replied.
“Cool.” June replied, as Courtney Gage appeared out of the blue.
“Greetings, Courtney. Doing well today?” Sean greeted.
Courtney smiled back. “Doing great, thank you. Anyway, I have to compliment you on the food, but…” Courtney turned and stealthily pointed at a small Model-three table where a boy and a girl are sitting. “That football player, Al Hulleb, came in rudely while I was talking to my friend, Amanda Epperson, over there and I took my seat when I went to go get some napkins.”
Sean tapped at his side, activating his personal shield for a potential confrontation. “Where a rude man attacks, a nice one must come to the rescue not with brawn but with brains. Sporman Philosophy number forty-three.”
“Good.” Courtney rushed. “Just take care of the situation.”
Sean stepped forward as Courtney and June stayed behind. Courtney looked at June. “Didn’t you turn rotten, June?” Courtney asked.
“A long time ago, I believe.” June replied with a smile, as she observed Sean’s actions. “Code fifteen.”
“What?” Courtney asked, not knowing what she meant.
“Never mind. Just watch.” June replied speedily.
Near the table, Sean Sporman walked up to the larger, heavier football player and proclaimed, “I am Sean Sporman, principal of this school and leader of the Spormanworld Alliance. One of my students, also a friend of mine, says that you have illegally taken her seat. I order you, by Code of Conduct revised marker 12.2 to take another seat.”
Al Hulleb glared with an evil eye at Sean and pushed his chair backwards as he stood up, dwarfing the still unafraid and smiling Sean Sporman. Still across from the table, Amanda Epperson gasped.
“Are you talking to me, little man?” Hulleb inquired threateningly.
Sean continued to smile. “No. I am ordering you to relinquish the chair.”
Al Hulleb, in a flash of anger, dived at Sean Sporman. Sean merely smiled and tapped his combadge, dematerializing quickly. As Sean suddenly rematerialized one meter to the left of where he had been standing, Al Hulleb fell flat on his face and deep into the land of unconsciousness. Sean, continuing to smile, walked to where Courtney and June stood. “Ms. Gage, I believe your chair is back. Enjoy your lunch and have a great day.” Courtney smiled as she walked away.
“So, June, what do you like from Chick-Fil-A?”
June was still recovering from the shock of what just happened. “That 250-pound weightlifter could have creamed you.”
“Me? Creamed? Nah.”
June smiled again, looking at the health sheet on the Chick-Fil-A wall. “A 100 health rating? That’s impossible!”
Sean smiled. “Not with holographic workers and Starfleet-model robotic floor janitors.”
“Cool.” June paused for a moment. “I’ll have a number five with a coca-cola.”
“And you, Sean? The usual?” Sean nodded. The holographic worker who had turned around looked exactly like the Emergency Medical Hologram.
“Doctor!” June exclaimed in disbelief.
“I’m a chef, not a doctor.” The hologram replied.
Sean explained. “That was Heather’s idea. She thought the EMH was funny, so we worked together to create the EFH—the Emergency Food Hologram.” June laughed aloud.

Interstate 59- Bessemer, Alabama
In the minivan tentatively dubbed the Funfinder by Britney Spears, the four singers who had mysteriously lost their talents approached the exit that led to Hueytown Academy.
“A school with an exit! Goodness. It must be important.” Paul McCartney commented from the steering wheel.
“Important for a cool leader.” Christina commented.
“So, you read his magazine article?” Britney inquired.
“Yup. I just love how he stopped a fight through words. And, this school, it’s the epitome of awesomeness.” The Funfinder suddenly went onto the ramp that led to the school; exit SPB, for Special B.
“Well,” John Anderson commented, “I think Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera have a crush.”
The two young women blushed and giggled, but verbally confirmed nothing.
“There it is.” Paul McCartney proclaimed. “Your Hueytown Academy in all its glory.”
The other three whistled in awe. “Well, well, that’s quite cool.” Anderson commented.
“Indeed.” Britney Spears agreed.

Hueytown Academy Soccer Field
“Well, we’re about ready to kick off, so down to John Motson and Mark Lawrenceson, your BBC commentators for the match between the Hueytown Golden Gophers and the Concord Cats.” On the large field with a large crowd and many players, a soccer match was about to begin. “Well, I think we could see a good game in this match.” John Motson commented, “What do you think, Mark?”
“Well, we could well see some goals, but don’t count the keepers out quite yet, John.”
“Thank you, Mark. Three seconds to kickoff then.” The two teams on the field were ready as the leader of the Gopher’s team, none other than Sean Sporman kicked the ball back to Heather Allgood. “Forward to midfielder. Nicely cut out the pass.” Heather then kicked the ball over to Ben Smith, but a sliding tackle leveled him. “Not the best tackle you’ll ever see, I’ve seen people arrested for less.” A whistle was blown. “Well, he really should have known that Sporman rules prohibit tackling period. Now, lets see what the ref will call.”
On the field the referee, reaching into his pocket, pulled out the red card, the worst possible penalty in what they called Football in Europe. “Well, as a commentator, I have to completely agree with that call. And, that means one less player for the Cats and an automatic goal for the Gophers! One more penalty and it’s an automatic win for said Gophers as they are now ready to kickoff once more, Sporman leading the way with Allgood and Gabert in the back.” Sporman, in a shocking move, kicked the ball forward. “Wow! A great kick. Good execution.” The ball flew over five defenders, past the goalie and into the back of the net for a goal. “And it’s a goal! And, in a flash of bad defending, the Gophers add to their tally!”
Sean, Heather, June and Lucy celebrated on the field as Jordan watched from the sidelines. Meagan had volunteered to stay in the Soccer Stadium Control Bridge, basically a mini-OPS over that hovered over the stadium. “It’s now two-nil and they look to have the advantage at the moment.” The game continued with the opposing midfielder kicking off to his back.
Monorail A-1-Hueytown Academy
The four stars, having exited the Funfinder van, which currently moved under tractor beams to a parking deck, entered a monorail and sat down as the monorail’s automatic safety restraints deployed over the passengers.
As the monorail began to move, a large viewscreen deployed in front of the four newest passengers. First, Sean Sporman’s face appeared. Britney and Christina smiled. “Welcome to Hueytown Academy, enjoy your trip to the main building. Now, here is Meagan Hall, live with current events.”
Meagan was now on the screen. “Currently, the soccer game between Concord and Hueytown is at 8-0, Hueytown winning. We now link you to the live match, with BBC Holo-commentators John Motson and Mark Lawrenson in thirty seconds.”
“Now, she’s kind of cute.” A fifth voice from the back of the monorail said.
Britney Spears recognized him instantly. “Lance?” She knew Lance Bass from the band known as N’Sync. “Lost your talents too?”
“Yup.” He replied. “But, that’s not the only reason. A friend of mine goes here, Lucy Camden.”
“Ah.” John Anderson understood. “But, does anyone know what a holo-commentator is?”
Christina Aguliera answered. “Holograms are what they are. They are being used by various secret governmental agencies. They are projections of light controlled by computer algorithms. But, I’ve never known one with analyzing and vocal capabilities.”
Britney nodded in agreement. “I have an underlying suspicion that this technology is not of terran construction. However, I plan to enjoy it.”
“Huh?” Lance Bass said to himself, not understanding at all.
“Well,” Paul McCartney commented, “These girls are smarter with the sciences than us.”
“That makes sense.” John Anderson added, as the monorail continued to approach its destination.

Hueytown Academy Soccer Field
“Well, that’s the game. And, I think that the referee was the only one not to score for the Gophers here.”
“Yes, I have to agree. I can bet that the team managers are in state of disbelief here.” The two holo-commentators were then deactivated as the Gopher’s continued to celebrate. It was then that the goalie of the Concord Cats walked up to the leader of the Gophers team and the school itself, Sean Sporman.
“You cheated.” The opposing goalie proclaimed.
Sean chuckled several times before falling down in laughter. The other members of his team were also laughing as well as some of the crowd.
Suddenly, in a flash of anger, the goalie dived toward Sean. However, Sean merely smiled as he tapped his combadge and beamed himself out of trouble again, this time materializing two meters from where he previously stood. The goalie passed out and another potential fight was not a fight, but handled in the way of a Starfleet officer, in the way of Sean Sporman and his friends, without superfluous violence. “So!” Sean exclaimed, “Shall we celebrate?”
Just as a delighted and excited Heather Allgood prepared to respond, Sean’s combadge beeped. “Hey, Meagan. Giving a word of coolness for yet another victory?”
“No. But, I just thought you might want to know that five people have arrived on Monorail A-1 at Station C.”
“Visitors!” Sean exclaimed. “I’ll be at the docking station momentarily then! Heather, get Jordan, Lucy and the Emergency Medical Hologram to the station!”

Monorail Docking Station C-
“Well,” Britney Spears commented, “We’ve come to a stop.”
“Yeah,” Christina added, “I heard that a welcoming party comes out to greet you, mainly led by Sean Sporman.” Both young women smiled. Heads turned as the doors to the station opened.

Sean Sporman had thought that some members of the press had come for their ‘Grand Tour’, as he called it. Behind him, Jordan Reeves, Heather Allgood, Lucy Camden and the Emergency Medical Hologram waited as Sean tapped the controls that opened the doors. When he first saw the five, everyone froze except the Emergency Medical Hologram.
“Well, I’m a doctor, not a tour guide, but welcome to Hueytown Academy, just call me Doc.”
Sean Sporman managed to recover from the shock. “G-G-Greetings, I’m Sean Sporman,” Sean recovered as he continued to speak, “Project leader and principal of Hueytown Academy. Welcome.” The five began to step out of the monorail.

“Principal’s Log, Hueytown Academy Day Seven, We have received a pleasant surprise. Several prominent singers have unknowingly visited Hueytown Academy. Of course, me and Heather are providing them with the full tour.”

“And, this is the Starfleet Audiophonics Hall, complete with perfect sound reverberation, seats for over five thousand, THX surround sound, not to mention the one thousand and thirty-eight holographic generators and one other thing.”
Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera seemed utterly fascinated by the technology and the school, much to Sean Sporman’s delight. He now had one final part of the plan. It may have been risky, but with the way they were captivated, it was sure to work.
Tapping his combadge and saying the command, Britney, Christina and Sean dematerialized in the typical blue shimmer that was indicative of a Federation transporter beam circa 2367. Heather was left with Lance, John and Paul, but she had her own plans as they too materialized only seconds after Sean and his two newest female friends did. The Starfleet Audiophonics Hall of Hueytown Academy was once again empty.

June Gabert had found several friends. Much to her pleasant surprise, her history as a taunter, attacker and saboteur was forgotten. Of course, she was dealing with friends of Sean Sporman, nice and generally forgiving people. Besides Sean and Jordan, one girl named Amanda Epperson, and Braxton Bovier had befriended the former enemy of Project: Hueytown 2000.
Currently, she sat in the room that they called Rec Room 7, a smaller and indoor alternative to the extensive playground of the school, now dubbed Fun City by some of the students. She was not alone in this room either. Allen Johnston played on a Sega Saturn, on a wall that included only video game consoles, from the Atari 2600 to the recently released Sega Dreamcast. Tiffany Kynard sat at what might have been called a bar, but was in actuality just an automated drink and food dispenser. Sean Sporman dare not do anything illegal, especially on his project that was his pride and joy.
The table that she sat at had not only a built in Starfleet LCARS panel, which she had become used to since the day she stole her first tricorder, but a holographic generator for various games. She was talking with Jordan Reeves, who had taken a respite from his command at OPS, which left the intelligent and beautiful Lucy Camden in command of the biggest school in the nation. “So, Jordan, do you think Sean has really forgotten my past?”
Jordan smiled back, after taking a sip from his Coke. He had been overjoyed when the Emergency Medical Hologram had cured his migraine problem, sometimes caused by caffeine beverages. “I’m sure of it. Why?”
June merely smiled. Jordan knew what this meant. “Ok. Here we go yet again. Code fifteen, right?” Jordan was now standing, due to his being annoyed by what he was almost sure June meant.
“Nope. Just fourteen.” June responded, taking a sip from her own soft drink.
Jordan sighed with relief as he sat back down. “Thank goodness. We don’t need another girl liking Sean, he’s got two official girlfriends, not to mention all the others who have crushes on him.”
“But, he is kind of cute anyway.” June responded. And with that, she placed her coke into the wall matter reclamator and left the room, adjusting her Starfleet uniform that she wore as the door behind her slid shut with the efficiency only Starfleet technology could provide.
Jordan muttered something to himself about “Sporman” and “Kooky”.

The Federation Starship Enterprise-D, now under the officially recognized possession of Sean Sporman, had been seen by quite a few people for it to remain secret. Oh, sure, several students went to their parents saying they had either seen or been on a starship, but the parents laughed it off, even after seeing the inside of the school.
Two more people now knew about it, two celebrities.
These two celebrities were on what is considered the brain of this great thousand-meter-plus in length starship, the Main Bridge, housed at the top, on Deck one. “This is absolutely incredible!” Christina Aguliera exclaimed.
“Yeah,” Britney Spears agreed, while she currently sat in the Captain’s chair, after permission had been given by Sean, “And being a fan of The Next Generation, I knew that some of the stuff you had wasn’t the government hogwash that it was led to be.”
“But, I’m a fan of the great sci-fi show too and I understand why you had that story,” Christina said, “The Prime Directive.”
“Starfleet General order one.” Britney Spears added.
Sean Sporman smiled from where he stood at the Tactical station. Two of the prettiest and most popular female teenage celebrities liked Star Trek. The potential was great. If they admitted that they liked it to the public, the already-high ratings for the currently running Star Trek series would sour. The millions of current Trek fans could double in size.
“But,” Britney Spears stood up and faced Sean, her smile gone, “You should know why we are really here. And since we have seen the technology, we know you can help.”
“What is it?” Sean asked, concerned.
Christina faced him with a very serious expression. “Our talent is gone.”
“Then, we must get you to sick bay right away. I think I know just what has happened.”
The two young women jumped in joy, their smiles returned to their faces. They both kissed Sean on opposite cheeks in happiness. Sean smiled. “Gladly welcome. To help the needy is one of Starfleet’s main policies. Into the turbolift if you please.” The two, now jubilant celebrities ran into the turbolift, as Sean followed. As the doors slid shut, Sean ordered, “Sick bay.”

The view from Andy Blackerby’s Board of Education blimp, the Pittman Two, was glorious, docked at such a high altitude to Hueytown Academy’s top dirigible dock. He stood currently in the Observation Lounge of the airship, admiring the view of the playground and parts of Hueytown.
But, he came here to check up on his most successful project. The Hueytown Academy project as it was now known in the Board of Education. The situation was great. Profits were thru the roof and the reputation as being a laughingstock of a school system was long forgotten. And, he still thanked Sean Sporman for changing it all for the better.
Stepping down from the observation platform, he headed toward the blimp’s transporter room. “Computer, beam me to OPS.”
The acknowledging beep on the LCARS panel passed, he began to dematerialize.

All five patients were now in the Sick Bay of the Enterprise-D, undergoing an examination by the Emergency Medical Hologram. In his office, he jumped up in jubilation. “I’ve got it!”
Sean Sporman, along with Heather Allgood and Lucy Camden, went into the Sickbay’s office to see the results, as the five patients lie on their biobeds. “What is it, doc? Found the solution?” Lucy asked first.
“I have.” The holographic doctor replied, “It was quite simple actually. It was a cerberomutation virus.”
Heather caught on. “A mutated virus in the brain’s pathways?”
The doctor smiled, “Sean always said you were smart. Apparently, these five were testing a new brand of stage make-up. It was the rotavirus originally, one of the viruses that causes the common cold. Now, of course, we have a cure for that.”
“How did it mutate?” Sean inquired.
“There were three chemicals in the make-up that actually caused the virus to take on a new property. Those were pyridoxine hydrochloride, cyanocobalamin and tridioxiphylloquinone.”
“Two of those are commonly found in nutritional supplement drinks.” Heather realized. “But, that other one…”
The Doctor continued. “That other one is a industrial chemical variant. Combined, they are antivirus, so the virus adapted and became a cerberomutation virus. There, it blocked the pathways to one section of the brain.”
“The music pathway.” Sean said, understanding. “How can we cure it?”
“A simple blioxidiflagurine compound and three hours of regenerative therapy!”
“Three hours of sleep?” Heather said, smiling.
“Of course.” The doctor said, exiting the office to treat his five patients.

“Principal’s Log, Hueytown Academy: Day 8, thanks the efforts of the Emergency Medical Hologram onboard the USS Enterprise-D, Britney Spears, Christina Aguliera, Paul McCartney, John Anderson and Lance Bass have been cured. June Gabert is still on the side of good, Pittman Two is docked and tomorrow the tertiaries from Pittman will be arriving.”

In the Monorail Station, the stars were preparing to leave. “Thank you again, Mr. Sporman.” John, Paul and Lance all shook hands with Sean, Heather, and June, who had requested to meet them. Amazingly, there had been no leak that these celebrities had been at the school.
As John, Paul and Lance stepped into the monorail, Britney and Christina appeared out of the doors, smiling broadly. “We’re going to stay for a while.” Christina proclaimed.
“Stay?” June wondered.
“For our two month vacation from singing and stuff.” Britney finished.
“Cool!” Sean agreed. “Always glad to have a helping hand.”
Apparently, the three male stars had known, because they were now leaving in the monorail.
“So,” asked Britney, “What’s on the agenda for today?”
“Well, the day has just begun. Would you like to have the full tour of the school?”
Britney and Christina smiled as they followed Sean Sporman.
Meanwhile, June Gabert smiled, she turned to Heather and said, “Well, Sporman’s a good guy, isn’t he.”
Heather smiled and nodded. “You better believe it.”


Next episode:
The world’s greatest sleuths can only solve what seems to be a murder at the school! Meet Jessica Fletcher, Columbo, Matlock and Dr. Mark Sloan on the next exciting episode!