Quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ohio8 · 01-25-2020, 11:18 PM

(Larry's, Darryl's and Darryl's wives are arguing.)
Both Darryls: "QUIET!!"
Dick: (to Larry): "Your - your brothers can speak! Why didn't they say anything up 'til now?"
Larry: "I guess they've never been this P.O.d before."

Dick: "I am getting out of here."
(He walks to front door.)
Dick: "I've got to get out of this madhouse!"
(Dick steps outside.)

Man: (offscreen) "FOOORE!"
Dick: "You're all crazy!"
(A stray golf ball hits Dick's left temple. He passes out and slowly falls to ground.)

MA · 02-10-2020, 06:41 PM

Larry:
I'm Larry. This is my brother Darryl. This is my other brother Darryl.

PhoenixAcres · 07-14-2020, 06:02 PM

Kirk: It's not fair.
Dick: Who ever said life was fair?
George: Uh, that might have been me.

AB · 07-15-2020, 05:56 PM

Stephanie Vanderkellen: "I discovered I like bowling."
[Then she starts crying]

MA · 07-15-2020, 05:57 PM

George Utley:
Dick, I cleared out that obstruction in the chimney.

Dick Loudon:
Thanks George. What was it?

George Utley:
I don't know but when I woke it up, it ran away.

Road Dog · 09-08-2020, 01:08 PM

From the episode "Vermont Today":

Dick: "How do you know he is the world's smallest horse?"

Jacko Braverman: "Look at him."

Dick: "What I meant was he's small, but usually when somebody says they have the world's smallest horse you expect some kind of proof."

Jacko Braverman: "Well I dare anyone to find one smaller."

And then the phone starts to ring.

MA · 09-19-2020, 11:21 AM

Dick Loudon:
[as Henry Bumpter] Alright, I'll do it. [Stephanie as Jody Bumpter enters the room] Tonight I'm going to dye... [Stephanie as Jody Bumpter gasps in shock and leaves the room]... my hair

Ohio8 · 11-25-2021, 10:56 PM

(First line of the series.)
Mr. Shaver: (laughs)"You'll want to fix that."

Dick: "I'll take that bet."

Leslie: "I want to find out what it's like to be average."

MA · 11-30-2021, 05:09 PM

Stephanie Vanderkellen:
Wait, there's something wrong with these pictures, I can't put my finger on it...

Dick Loudon:
You're not in them?

Stephanie Vanderkellen:
That's it!

Sterling Holobyte · 12-18-2021, 04:22 PM

Kirk: "You know, this is going to be the best Christmas ever!

Leslie: "Me too. I'm going home."

Kirk: "What? What for?"

Leslie: "To be with my family!"

Kirk: "But this is Christmas!"

Sterling Holobyte · 12-18-2021, 04:26 PM

(Kirk and his new bride Cindy, have just reconciled after a fight)

Joanna(to Stephanie): "Isn't it great when two people kiss and make up?"

Stephanie(slaps her hand down on the counter): "Oh, you just reminded me. I'm out of makeup."

Sterling Holobyte · 12-18-2021, 04:28 PM

Joanna: "Your mother's fruitcake arrived today."

Dick: "Did you throw it out?"

Joanna: "Yes."

Dick: "Good."

Sterling Holobyte · 12-18-2021, 05:13 PM

Kirk: "Mmm-mmm! Leslie, this french toast is delicious. Reminds me of when I was in Paris."

Leslie: "When were you in Paris, Kirk?"

Kirk: "Once, during the toast season."

Sterling Holobyte · 12-18-2021, 05:18 PM

Kirk(singing): "I... made a Christmas wish today, gonna find a chick in Santa's sleigh!"
Kirk: "You know, I've really got the spirit of Christmas this year."

Joanna: "Up til now, so have we."

Sterling Holobyte · 12-18-2021, 05:25 PM

(George the handyman has been working on the furnace(or water heater), and Dick asks him what he did on it)

George: "Well, it's a bit too technical to explain."

Dick: "I do have some experience in home repair."

George: "No, I meant for me."

01-25-2020, 11:18 PM	#1
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Quotes (Larry's, Darryl's and Darryl's wives are arguing.) Both Darryls: "QUIET!!" Dick: (to Larry): "Your - your brothers can speak! Why didn't they say anything up 'til now?" Larry: "I guess they've never been this P.O.d before." Dick: "I am getting out of here." (He walks to front door.) Dick: "I've got to get out of this madhouse!" (Dick steps outside.) Man: (offscreen) "FOOORE!" Dick: "You're all crazy!" (A stray golf ball hits Dick's left temple. He passes out and slowly falls to ground.)
	__________________ "Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd

02-10-2020, 06:41 PM	#2
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,094	Larry: I'm Larry. This is my brother Darryl. This is my other brother Darryl.
	__________________ ~-Mikaela-~

12-18-2021, 04:22 PM	#10
Sterling Holobyte Harper House Senior Member Join Date: Nov 07, 2002 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,896	Kirk: "You know, this is going to be the best Christmas ever! Leslie: "Me too. I'm going home." Kirk: "What? What for?" Leslie: "To be with my family!" Kirk: "But this is Christmas!"
	__________________ "Let it go. Forget about it. Try smiling." -Michael Harris WPIV studio producer/shoe salesman/grocery store employee/Ex-sanitarium patient/Stephanie's boyfriend-then husband --------------------------------------------------- My 2nd First Blog:http://saturdaymorningfunnies.wordpress.com/

12-18-2021, 04:26 PM	#11
Sterling Holobyte Harper House Senior Member Join Date: Nov 07, 2002 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,896	(Kirk and his new bride Cindy, have just reconciled after a fight) Joanna(to Stephanie): "Isn't it great when two people kiss and make up?" Stephanie(slaps her hand down on the counter): "Oh, you just reminded me. I'm out of makeup."
	Last edited by Sterling Holobyte; 12-18-2021 at 05:30 PM.

07-14-2020, 06:02 PM	#3
PhoenixAcres Member Moderator Forum Veteran Join Date: Jul 26, 2016 Location: United States Posts: 6,824	Kirk: It's not fair. Dick: Who ever said life was fair? George: Uh, that might have been me.

07-15-2020, 05:56 PM	#4
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,426	Stephanie Vanderkellen: "I discovered I like bowling." [Then she starts crying]

07-15-2020, 05:57 PM	#5
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,094	George Utley: Dick, I cleared out that obstruction in the chimney. Dick Loudon: Thanks George. What was it? George Utley: I don't know but when I woke it up, it ran away.

09-08-2020, 01:08 PM	#6
Road Dog Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Apr 30, 2004 Posts: 94	From the episode "Vermont Today": Dick: "How do you know he is the world's smallest horse?" Jacko Braverman: "Look at him." Dick: "What I meant was he's small, but usually when somebody says they have the world's smallest horse you expect some kind of proof." Jacko Braverman: "Well I dare anyone to find one smaller." And then the phone starts to ring.

09-19-2020, 11:21 AM	#7
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,094	Dick Loudon: [as Henry Bumpter] Alright, I'll do it. [Stephanie as Jody Bumpter enters the room] Tonight I'm going to dye... [Stephanie as Jody Bumpter gasps in shock and leaves the room]... my hair

11-25-2021, 10:56 PM	#8
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	(First line of the series.) Mr. Shaver: (laughs)"You'll want to fix that." Dick: "I'll take that bet." Leslie: "I want to find out what it's like to be average."

11-30-2021, 05:09 PM	#9
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,094	Stephanie Vanderkellen: Wait, there's something wrong with these pictures, I can't put my finger on it... Dick Loudon: You're not in them? Stephanie Vanderkellen: That's it!

12-18-2021, 04:28 PM	#12
Sterling Holobyte Harper House Senior Member Join Date: Nov 07, 2002 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,896	Joanna: "Your mother's fruitcake arrived today." Dick: "Did you throw it out?" Joanna: "Yes." Dick: "Good."

12-18-2021, 05:13 PM	#13
Sterling Holobyte Harper House Senior Member Join Date: Nov 07, 2002 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,896	Kirk: "Mmm-mmm! Leslie, this french toast is delicious. Reminds me of when I was in Paris." Leslie: "When were you in Paris, Kirk?" Kirk: "Once, during the toast season."

12-18-2021, 05:18 PM	#14
Sterling Holobyte Harper House Senior Member Join Date: Nov 07, 2002 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,896	Kirk(singing): "I... made a Christmas wish today, gonna find a chick in Santa's sleigh!" Kirk: "You know, I've really got the spirit of Christmas this year." Joanna: "Up til now, so have we."

12-18-2021, 05:25 PM	#15
Sterling Holobyte Harper House Senior Member Join Date: Nov 07, 2002 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 2,896	(George the handyman has been working on the furnace(or water heater), and Dick asks him what he did on it) George: "Well, it's a bit too technical to explain." Dick: "I do have some experience in home repair." George: "No, I meant for me."