A Honeymooners XMas Eve:

[Frank Gannucci]

A Honeymooners XMas Eve:

(It is XMas Eve and it is 5pm. Ralph goes to Ed's manhole.)

Ralph (yelling down the manhole): "NORTON! NORTON!"

Ed (from the sewer, yells): "I'LL BE RIGHT UP."

(Ralph walks around. Ed comes out with his sewer mask on. He taps Ralph on the shoulder.)

Ed: "Ralph."

(Ralph turns around and gets scared.)

Ralph (yells): "AAAAAAAAAH!" (normally): "What is the matter with you? What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?"

Ed: "With your weight, I am surprised that you haven't gotten one yet."

Ralph: "Ooooh, you are a riot Norton. A riot pal. Get all the getup off and start getting dressed so we can go to Macys."

Ed: "I think we should all get dressed for the occassion."

Ralph: "Is that so?"

Ed: "Yeah. I can go as an elf and you can go as Santa."

Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU GET DRESSED?"

(Ed does. Later on, Ralph & Ed are shopping at Macy's in New York on XMas Eve.)

Ralph: "Come on Norton. I know that you love the XMas decor."

Ed: "I can't help it Ralph. I love seeing all the trains and the toy setups. Ralph, I got to ask you a question. Why are we doing your XMas shopping now? Why couldn't you do it earlier in the week or last week?"

Ralph: "Cause I was too tired Norton. After work, I played pool, I bowled, I went to the Raccoon Lodge, I played golf etc. I am a busy guy."

Ed: "Not to mention all the food you eat especially all the food that you ate in the cafe section of Macys."

Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!"

Ed: "Maybe we can get the shopping done early and be at home with our wives. I got Trixie a gift."

Ralph: "Where did you get her gift?"

Ed: "I got it from an arcade. When you hit the high score, you take whatever prize you can get."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "Let's go to the Mr. Beer kits. As that comedian says, 'Mmmmmm BOY! That is good booze.'"

(They do. Later on, they buy all the gifts.)

Ralph: "That Alice is a riot. She says that I am DUMB for waiting until XMas Eve to buy her gifts. Ooooh, I will show her. She was also worried that I was going to max out our credit cards. I will show her."

(They go to the cashier to buy the gifts. Each item gets scanned.)

Ralph: "Put my credit card into the chip reader Norton."

(Ed does but he warms up his arms.)

Ralph (slapping Ed on the back, yells): "WILL YOU PUT THE CARD IN?"

(Ed does only to find out that the card was maxed out.)

(Ralph gets sick.)

Cashier: "Sir, what's the matter with you? Are you sick?"

Ralph: "I think I may get a heart attack. I want to give those gifts for Alice."

Man (yells): "WITH YOUR WEIGHT, I AM SURPRISED THAT YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN ONE YET."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON! USE YOUR CARD!"

Ed (yells): "I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY AND CREDIT CARDS. ME AND TRIXIE'S CARDS WERE ALSO MAXED OUT EARLIER IN THE WEEK."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT?"

Man (into megaphone, yells): "DON'T WORRY ABOUT PAYING YOUR ITMES FOLKS. THERE IS A CELEBRITY HERE TO HELP YOU PAY. HERE SHE COMES."

(Ed & Ralph look. We don't see the celebrity.)

Ed: "Va-va-va-voom!"

(To be continued.)