A Honeymooners Halloween:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are in the bus depot locker room. They are looking at men dressed in women's clothing and laughing.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a riot these people are Norton. Here's one of Joe Fenstablau dressed as a ballerina. Hahaha!"

Ed: "They look hillarious."

(Joe Fenstablau comes in.)

Joe: "Hey you two, it looks like you two are loving those photos especially of me."

Ralph: "Yeah, you look funny."

Joe: "That was embarrasing for me at least at first. You two probably would hate it if you two had to dress up like that."

Ralph: "Hey Joe, I got another bet for you. Why don't we play pool tonight in the pool room and the loser gets to wear a ladies costume at the Bus Driver's Halloween Celebration?"

Joe: "You got yourself a deal Ralph."

(They shake hands.)

Joe: "See you later."

Ralph: "Boy Joe is going to be so embarrassed at the ball. Hahaha!"

Ed: "You will never wear a ballerina costume or any ladies costume."

Ralph: "Thank you Norton."

Ed: "Where are they going to find those outfits that would fit you?"

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

(At the poolroom, Ralph & Joe are all tied.)

Ralph: "Well Joe, it looks like I have the momentum."

Joe: "What are you talking about? I tied the score."

Ralph: "Yeah, but you are tired. I am doing good because of what I haven't got. Norton, he will drive you nuts."

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph-ie boy!"

(Ralph is startled.)

Ralph: "Norton, me and Joe are tied. I am just about ready to win this game."

Ed: "You won't even know that I am here."

(Joe fires the cue ball into the 4 ball and it goes in.)

Joe: "One ball left Ralph. If you miss it, I lose. If you get the 8 ball in, I will be forced to dress up like Lady Gaga for Halloween."

Ralph: "Prepare for your makeup."

(Ralph goes to fire the shot.)

Ed (startling Ralph and causing him to lose): "Hope you make it in Ralph."

Joe (yells): "I WIN! I WIN!"

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE DOOR, START RUNNING."

(Ralph chases Ed out. At the Bus Driver's Halloween Celebration, everyone is in costume. The Nortons arrive and so does Alice. Ed is dressed as Captain VIdeo. Trixie is a sailor and Alice is an Angel.)

Alice: "Come on out Ralph."

(Ralph comes out dressed as Lady Gaga with makeup and a revealing dress. Everybody is lauging at him.)

Ralph (sounding miserable): "Wow!"

(Ralph goes to bend down and has a wardrobe malfunction where he accidentally does the Full Monty.)

Ed: "Hahahaha! Hey Ralph, you got lose some weight. Stop eating candies for Halloween.)

(Ralph chases after Ed while trying to hide his nudity.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Don't worry. I didn't show my fellow actors my buttocks. I am wearing shorts as you can see here."

(Jackie shows them the shorts. Crowd laughs.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! HAPPY HALLOWEEN! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)