Sitcom One-Liners - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

MA · 09-28-2019, 08:46 AM

Friends

Joey: Just flip the coin!

Ohio8 · 10-01-2019, 06:55 PM

M*A*S*H/Hawkeye: "I believe this is the first case of teenage male menopause."

MA · 10-03-2019, 05:39 AM

MASH

You are the 10 most boring people I know -- Trapper to Frank

dee2364 · 10-08-2019, 11:30 AM

The Honeymooners:

Ed Norton: Do you mind if I smoke?

Ralph Kramden: I don't care if you burn.

And my all-time most favorite line from Seinfeld:

"He could've had any woman in the world, but none could match the beauty of his hand."

CosmicCharlie · 10-10-2019, 09:28 PM

Marsha Marsha Marsha - actually only said ONCE - but who hasn't heard it (?)

Ohio8 · 10-21-2019, 07:23 PM

M*A*S*H/B.J.: "The crowd thickens."

AB · 10-22-2019, 04:36 PM

Joy from My Name is Earl:

edoug · 10-22-2019, 06:39 PM

I had to add the set up lines so the one liners make sense.

Hogan's Heroes-

Colonel Crittendon : No need to worry, I have a photographic memory. My mind is like a camera.

Cpl. Peter Newkirk : Yeah, but how are you fixed for film?

Colonel Klink: Schultz, into the cooler they go. Throw away the key.

Carter: Don't we get a trial or anything?

Colonel Klink: This is Germany. Although I do appreciate your sense of humor.

Schultz: Col. Hogan if you ever escape...

Hogan: Yeah?

Schultz: Be a good fellow and take me with you.

MA · 11-27-2019, 05:11 PM

One Day At A Time

Julie Cooper Horvath: I feel like a woman, I've never felt more like a woman.

David Kane: [uncomfortable] I'm gonna go home now.

dee2364 · 11-27-2019, 11:19 PM

Just remembered this one:

In the last season of Roseanne, Lecy Goranson came back on the show after a long hiatus. When she walks onto the set (as Becky), Roseanne goes, "Where the HELL have you been?!"

MA · 11-28-2019, 07:19 AM

That’s So Raven

Raven:
There is nothing that you can say that's gonna get to me.

Muffy:
Umm hmm, my shoes are better than yours.

Raven:
Thats a lie!

CosmicCharlie · 12-02-2019, 06:00 PM

What You Talking About Willis ?

MA · 12-03-2019, 07:13 AM

Full House/Stephanie Tanner:

How rude!

Ohio8 · 02-11-2020, 07:21 PM

Bunk'd/Lou: "This is why we can't have ice things."

MA · 02-11-2020, 07:27 PM

All In The Family

Mike: How long have you been believing in curses?

Archie: How long have you been living here?

09-28-2019, 08:46 AM	#1
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,386	Sitcom One-Liners Friends Joey: Just flip the coin!
	__________________ ~-Mikaela-~

10-01-2019, 06:55 PM	#2
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,914	MASH*/Hawkeye: "I believe this is the first case of teenage male menopause."
	__________________ "Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd

10-22-2019, 04:36 PM	#7
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	Joy from My Name is Earl: Attached Images

12-03-2019, 07:13 AM	#13
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,386	Full House/Stephanie Tanner: How rude!
	Last edited by MA; 02-11-2020 at 07:39 PM.

10-03-2019, 05:39 AM	#3
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,386	MASH You are the 10 most boring people I know -- Trapper to Frank

10-08-2019, 11:30 AM	#4
dee2364 Member Forum Regular Join Date: Feb 20, 2019 Posts: 643	The Honeymooners: Ed Norton: Do you mind if I smoke? Ralph Kramden: I don't care if you burn. And my all-time most favorite line from Seinfeld: "He could've had any woman in the world, but none could match the beauty of his hand."

10-10-2019, 09:28 PM	#5
CosmicCharlie Member Senior Member Join Date: Jan 14, 2019 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 2,428	Marsha Marsha Marsha - actually only said ONCE - but who hasn't heard it (?)

10-21-2019, 07:23 PM	#6
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,914	MASH*/B.J.: "The crowd thickens."

10-22-2019, 06:39 PM	#8
edoug Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Sep 10, 2001 Posts: 128	I had to add the set up lines so the one liners make sense. Hogan's Heroes- Colonel Crittendon : No need to worry, I have a photographic memory. My mind is like a camera. Cpl. Peter Newkirk : Yeah, but how are you fixed for film? Colonel Klink: Schultz, into the cooler they go. Throw away the key. Carter: Don't we get a trial or anything? Colonel Klink: This is Germany. Although I do appreciate your sense of humor. Schultz: Col. Hogan if you ever escape... Hogan: Yeah? Schultz: Be a good fellow and take me with you.

11-27-2019, 05:11 PM	#9
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,386	One Day At A Time Julie Cooper Horvath: I feel like a woman, I've never felt more like a woman. David Kane: [uncomfortable] I'm gonna go home now.

11-27-2019, 11:19 PM	#10
dee2364 Member Forum Regular Join Date: Feb 20, 2019 Posts: 643	Just remembered this one: In the last season of Roseanne, Lecy Goranson came back on the show after a long hiatus. When she walks onto the set (as Becky), Roseanne goes, "Where the HELL have you been?!"

11-28-2019, 07:19 AM	#11
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,386	That’s So Raven Raven: There is nothing that you can say that's gonna get to me. Muffy: Umm hmm, my shoes are better than yours. Raven: Thats a lie!

12-02-2019, 06:00 PM	#12
CosmicCharlie Member Senior Member Join Date: Jan 14, 2019 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 2,428	What You Talking About Willis ?

02-11-2020, 07:21 PM	#14
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,914	Bunk'd/Lou: "This is why we can't have ice things."

02-11-2020, 07:27 PM	#15
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,386	All In The Family Mike: How long have you been believing in curses? Archie: How long have you been living here?