A Honeymooners St. Patty's Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are in the Brooklyn Public Library.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, I found out some information on this guy Harry Crane."

Ralph: "Oh yeah. One of the original writers on the Honeymooners. I understand that some of the earlier sketches that he wrote are still lost."

Ed: "It says here that those sketches were dumped into the heavily polluted East River decades ago and no one has found them."

Ralph: "Imagine someone having the guts to go down there and get that treasure trove. They would be rich."

(A bulb goes off in Ralph's head.)

Ralph: "Norton, that is us. We ought to go down there and get those sketches. You have experience working in the water. All we have to do is get into some bodysuits and get some air tanks and go scuba diving for our St. Patrick's Day treasure."

Ed: "Ralph, we will be on easy street Ralph-ie boy but where are we going to find a body suit big enough for you?"

Ralph: "Oooooh, you are a real riot Norton. Alice, will flip when she hears the news that we are going to be rich."

(In the Kramden apartment, Ralph & Alice are arguing.)

Ralph (yells): "ALICE, I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME THE MONEY FOR THE BODYSUIT AND AIR TANKS SO ME AND NORTON CAN GO SCUBA DIVING INTO THE EAST RIVER TO GET THOSE HONEYMOONERS SKETCHES."

Alice: "Ralph, you two are crazy. Those sketches have probably floated away and if someone did find them, they would probably be permanently damaged to the point that NO ONE will be able to view them and also, Honeymooners popularity is going down to the point where most people don't care about them anymore."

Ralph: "What's the matter with you Alice? You are wrong about them being popular and with today's technology, we can fix up those sketches no matter what happens to them. Alice, don't you want to be rich? Don't you want me to get my St. Patrick's Day pot of gold?"

Alice: "Just go for the gold. You already got the pot."

Ralph: "Oooooh, you are a riot Alice. Don't worry. I will get the money and when me and Norton become rich, you will be sorry."

Alice (sarcastically): "Oooooh, from this blow, I may never recover."

(Ralph & Ed get the money and on St. Patrick's Day, they are ready to go scuba diving.)

Ed: "Ralph, I never thought I would see the day when I will be working in water on my day off."

Ralph: "Imagine the money we will make. Our wives said we are dummies. We will show them."

(They jump into the water. The weight of the air tank causes Ralph to sink to the bottom. Ed helps him out. After nine hours of looking, Ralph & Ed resurface. The girls see them resurface and a bunch of people see them too since scuba diving in the East River is unheard off.)

Man: "What where you two doing?"

Ralph: "Well, you see me and Ed here spent nine hours looking in the East River looking for Honeymooners footage that was dumped in here in the 50s. We were going to find them, have them cleaned up so we can distribute them to the public and be rich."

(Everyone laughs.)

Man: "How stupid you two are? Those sketches are probably in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, and if someone did find them, they would probably be permanently damaged to the point that NO ONE will be able to view them and also, Honeymooners popularity is going down to the point where most people don't care about them anymore. You two thought you were going to get rich on St. Patrick's Day. Hahahahaha!"

Alice: "Well Ralph, you two got yours."

Ed: "Looks like our plan got all wet Ralph. You must have looked like a whale down there with all of those fish."

Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT NORTON! PUT 'EM UP!"

(The wives try to stop Ralph.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)

[cloggedmind]

I remember this one, LOL! But it was a remake. At the end they did find a ton of films, but they were all "Sing Along with Mitch"!