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Old 03-11-2019, 09:20 PM   #1
MrCleveland
Drew Carey from Hell
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Join Date: Nov 10, 2007
Location: The City of Cleveland, in The State of Cleveland, in The United States of Cleveland
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TV Sitcom Family Feud: Who's The Boss?

This is dedicated for Catherine Helmond who played Mona...

It's time once again for Sitcom Family Feud! And here's your host...The Ghost of Richard Dawson!

Dawson enters

Richard: Hello everyone, I'm glad to be back once again for Sitcom Family Feud, now let's bring-back our champions from Everything Happens in Bertstown, The Warners!

The Warners enter.

Richard: Here we see Tony Warner again.

Tony: And I see you as well.

Richard: You're now unemployed and getting Social Security?

Tony: Yep...And I'm Lovin' Every Freakin' Bit Of It! I can go out drinkin' every day and make money!

Richard: That's not how unemployment or Social Security works...

Tony: It Works For Me...now...how can I get on welfare or workman's comp?

Richard: You like to take things for granted, don't you? Next we have Helen.

Helen: I still work at the Cathedral Community College and next year might be my last year as a Kindergarten Teacher.

Richard: Why is that?

Helen: Budget cuts...but I'll be getting Social Security.

Richard: And next, we have Paul.

Paul: Tony keeps callin' me every single day...

Richard: Why?

Paul: Because he's bored!

Tony: But no one calls me!

Richard: Yeah...your life IS a mess, next we have a future graduate of Bertstown Media School, Dustin Warner.

Dustin: Yes...and I may get a job in Milan!

Richard: You're going to Italy?

Dustin: No...I can't even go out of state...until this Easter. This Milan is in Ohio and it's where Thomas Edison was born.

Cut to a woman in Milan, Ohio running toward the camera.

Woman: hey...we've been mentioned on TV!

Richard: What was that?

Dustin: Nothing.

Richard: Up next, we have Margaret.

Margaret: Well...my oldest daughter is gonna be in the 2nd grade and my other daughter will be in a gifted class...she can skip a grade or two.

Richard: Nice...next, we have...The cast of Who's The Boss!

Tony, Angela, Mona, Samantha, and Johnathan enter.

Richard approaches the cast of Who's the Boss?

Richard: You must be Tony Micelli?

Micelli: Yep...

Richard: You once played baseball, I hear?

Micelli: Until I got a shoulder injury. I played for the St. Louis Cardinals until 1982. I tore my shoulder during the first game against the Milwaukee Brewers in the World Series...and to make matters worse, my wife died that at the same time.

Richard: Sad to hear that. Next, we have Angela Bower. Do you need a hug?

Angela: Sure.

Richard Hugs Angela.

Richard: You are newly divorced.

Angela: And I'm also an advertising executive in New York who lives in Connecticut. But I'm too busy to cook or clean.

Richard: I see...and here we have Mona Robinson.

Mona: Kiss Me Mr. Dawson!

Richard: Mrs. Robinson, are you tryin' to seduce me?

Mona: Maybe...but I do this too all the men I know!

Angela: Mother!

Richard kisses Mona.

Mona: Again!

Richard: Maybe later! Next, we have Samantha Micelli.

Samantha: Yep!

Richard: You left Brooklyn after a fight in school?

Samantha: Yep...but I won the fight tho!

Richard: You're a strong young lady! Finally...we have Johnathan Bower.

Johnathan: I wanna Play The Feud!

Richard: Then let's play the Feud!

Tony Warner and Tony Micelli walk toward the main podium where Richard is at.

Richard: We surveyed 100 people who gave us 6 answers for this question...Name something people clean...

Tony Warner Buzzes In

Tony: The *******!

Richard: Tony, you can't say ******* on TV!

Tony: I just did!

Richard: Okay...do people clean what Tony just said?

BUZZ

Tony: WHAT?

Richard: Plus...I wasn't finished with the question...Name Something That People Clean That's In The House.

Micelli: The Windows! I even vacuum the drapes!

Richard: I believe that...show me windows!

20 people said "Windows" It's the #3 answer.

So...will you play or pass?

Micelli: We Will Play!

Tony: And I Passed...OOH...Chicken Cacciatore For The 3rd Night!

Richard: Sick...someone should clean his whole arse! Okay, Andrea...Name Something That People Clean That's In The House.

Andrea: The Dishes.

Richard: Do you clean the dishes?

Andrea: I tried to...I almost broke an entire set of China.

Richard: The answer is "no", but...are there dishes?

24 people said "dishes", It's the #2 Answer.

Richard: Mona, we come to you...

Mona: Kiss Me Again!

Richard: If you insist...

Richard kisses Mona.

Richard: Now...Name Something That People Clean That's In The House.

Mona: The Bathroom...I love it when Tony cleans the house...I wish he'd do it topless....

Angela: Mother!

Richard: Okay...does the bathroom get cleaned?

1 person said "Bathroom", It's the #6 answer.

Richard: Next, we have Samantha...Name Something That People Clean That's In The House.

Samantha: The Laundry.

Richard: It's a dirty job, but someone must do it...give me that dirty laundry!

30 people said "Laundry", It's the #1 answer.

Richard: Samantha...

Samantha: You can call me Sam.

Richard: You're really bright...now we go to Johnathan...Name Something That People Clean That's In The House.

Johnathan: Yourself?

Richard: You are part of the house...am I right? Well...let's see if people is up there...

BUZZ

Richard: Sorry Johnny...let's see if the Warners have the steal...

The Warners are debating whether they should go with car or floor. Paul Then Bangs The Gavel.

Paul: Can You Just Listen To Me For One Second?

Tony: I really hate that freakin' thing!

Paul: We should go with floors.

Tony: I think we made-up our minds...the answer is...a car!

Richard: For the steal...is car up there?

8 people said "Vehicle", It's the #5 answer.

Richard: Okay...what's the #4 answer?

17 people said "Floors", It's the #4 answer.

Richard: Okay...we muse say goodbye to The cast of Who's The Boss...

Mona walks by Richard.

Mona: Richard...kiss me one more time...

Richard: I already kissed you twice.

Mona: But my time has come...I'm going to Sitcom Heaven...

Richard: Okay...one more.

Richard gives Mona a long kiss...then she leaves.

Richard: Sad to see her go...now...who's gonna play "Fast Money"?

The Waners Except Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is!

Paul: Everything I do is mandatory!

Richard: Now Paul...It seems like you don't wanna do this do you?

Paul: I'll participate!

Richard: That's good! Now...I'm gonna give you 5 questions and all you need to do is give me 5 answers in 15 seconds. The time starts when I start after the first question.

:15 is seen.

Richard: Name a type of fish.

Paul: Sun Fish.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a type of pasta.

Paul: Mafaldine.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a type of pants.

Paul: Chinos.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a satellite besides the Moon.

Paul: Proteus.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a video game console.

Paul: Colecovision.

BUZZ

Richard: Paul...you stumped our judges again...maybe you should be the judges on Family Feud since again you have $0, but until next time...we'll see you again!
__________________
Thank God for kids that love Obscure Things.

Lee Hazlewood (1929-2007)

You ARE Special to God!

Rev. Ernest Angely (August 1921-May 2021)

Last edited by MrCleveland; 03-13-2019 at 08:04 PM.
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