Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "The Turkey" & "Lost Baby":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "The Turkey" & "Lost Baby":

Episode #27
TV: In 2019, the future Catchy Comedy started airing this episode with it being attached to "Lost Baby."
DVD: Attached to “Bread”, “Razor Blades”, “New TV Set”, “Ralph Threatens To Leave”, “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”), “The Ring Salesman” (’51 version), “Quiz Show” (’51 version), “Xmas Party” (’51 version), “The New Bowling Ball”, “Lost Baby”, “Quiz Show” (’52 version), “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “Jellybeans” & “Six Months To Live” (’51 version).
Air Date: 9/27/52

A print of this episode surfaced to the world for the first time in ages on Ebay in 2009. It was released onto DVD in 2011. For obvious reasons, this episode doesn’t look like it was digitally remastered. The script can be viewed at the UCLA Special Collections Library Box 109, Folder 19.

Ralph comes home and complains about that he doesn’t know how long he can go on driving a bus. He complains about people going in and out of the wrong doors. Alice says that she lost her wedding ring. Ralph is angry. Ralph says that they should be calm. He asks Alice to remember what she did all day. When she gets to the part about going to her mom’s, Ralph says that the case is solved. Ralph says that Alice helped her mom wash the dishes and as a result, lost the wedding ring when she put in the garbage accidentally and know the ring is somewhere off the coast of Canarsie.

Alice says that she distinctly remembers coming home and taking off the ring and putting it on the dresser. She looked everyplace else. Ralph goes to look for the ring and finds a turkey. Alice says that her club is having turkey raffle this afternoon. Mr. Howard won it and it is his turkey. It is a live turkey. Mr. Howard is going to come and get the turkey. Ralph thinks that the turkey swallowed the ring. Alice says that that is impossible. Ralph disagrees.

Ed comes down. Ralph explains that the turkey and ate her wedding ring. Ralph wants to kill the turkey to get the ring out. When Alice asks Ralph what is Mr. Howard going to do if he sees a dead turkey, Ed says that the turkey left the cage and committed suicide. Ha! Ralph gives Ed $20 to go get a live turkey. Somehow, I think a live turkey would cost more today. Ed leaves. Ralph asks Alice to kill the turkey because he doesn’t want to. Alice doesn’t want to. Ralph has an idea. He puts pepper on a piece of paper and tries to put the pepper near the turkey so the turkey will cough up the ring. (What?) Ralph puts the paper with the pepper near the turkey. Care to guess what happens next? If you guessed Ralph sneezing, you are right. Alice: “What happened?” Ralph: “He blew first.” Ralph says that that ring is a symbol of their love. Alice says that that Ralph is acting like a maniac.

Ed comes in with another live turkey. The turkey, much like the other one is a real one. Ed says that the turkey only costed $17. Wow! Mr. Howard comes in. Mr. Howard goes to get the turkey. Ralph doesn’t know which turkey is real one that Mr. Howard won. Ralph talks to Ed in “private.” He asks Ed which one is his. Ed: “Yours is the one with the ring in it.” Ralph: “How could I tell?” Ed: “Shake them.” How Mr. Howard can’t hear this is mind-blowing. Ralph tries to give Mr. Howard $5 so he can get a turkey. Ed chimes in and says that it costs $17. He gives him the $17 and leaves. Ralph says that Alice costs him $34 and blames Alice.

Trixie comes in to tell Ed that dinner is ready and to give Alice back her ring. She found it on the dresser and thought it wasn’t safe there. The Nortons leave. Ed: “Now you will never find out which one is yours.” Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives him. They hug and kiss.

Episode #29
TV: It was shown in reruns for the first time on the Honeymooners 35th Anniversary Special in 1990 on CBS. (The same special is shown on the Classic 39 DVD box Set with the lost episode clips edited out because Paramount didn't [and doesn't] have the home video rights to the lost episodes.) In 2019, the future Catchy Comedy started showing this episode with it being attached to "The Turkey."
VCR: Attached to "One Big Happy Family"
DVD: Attached to "A Weighty Problem", "Lunch Box" & "The Man In The Blue Suit." On the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Bread”, “Razor Blades”, “New TV Set”, “Ralph Threatens To Leave”, “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”), “The Ring Salesman” (’51 version), “Quiz Show” (’51 version), “Xmas Party” (’51 version), “The New Bowling Ball”, “The Turkey” “Quiz Show” (’52 version), “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “Jellybeans” & “Six Months To Live” (’51 version).
Air Date: 10/11/52

When MPI released this episode on VHS, at the time it was the oldest surviving lost episode. They even put that in the description of the episode. After this episode was released, the Really Lost Debut Episodes were finally shown. Well, in 2002, MPI released this episode on DVD with the exact description that the VHS copy had even though by that time, it wasn't the oldest surviving lost episode.

This episode, much like "Quiz Show" (2nd version), is not exactly in 100% condition. Look at the left while this episode is playing and you'll notice that the left side is blurry.

Ralph comes home with a baby boy that he found on the bus along with food. He was lying on the back seat of the bus. Alice: "How did it get on the bus?" Ralph: "You don't expect him to walk do you?" Ralph brought him home rather bring him to the Foundlin home because it was getting pretty late when his day was done. He didn't want to be late for dinner and he looked to be hungry so he thought he would bring him home and him, the baby and Alice would have dinner. Alice says that they don't have anything to feed a baby. Ralph says he got some hamburger for the baby. Alice says he is too young to eat hamburger because of the meat. Ralph: "I got the hamburger from Krauss. There is very little meat in it."

Alice says she is going outside to get some pablum for the baby. As she goes into the bedroom to get her coat, she has trouble opening the door. Ralph says that everyone pampers babies now. He is implying that babies are now being spoiled. Ralph talks about how tough it was for him to be a baby. When he was a baby, his parents didn't put him over his shoulder to burp him. They gave him bruma seltzer. Ha! Alice leaves.

The baby cries. As Ralph puts him on the table, I think you can tell that the baby isn't real. Ralph tries to make the baby laugh. He tries to get Norton. As he yells out the window for him, Ed comes in. After Ralph tells him to come down, he notices that Ed is in the room with him. Ralph tells Ed where he got the kid. Ed searches for the baby's name. He looks on the baby's jacket and reads "John Wanamaker." He assumes that that's the baby's name. Ha! Ralph tells that is where the baby got his jacket made. The baby cries and Ed assumes that the baby is crying because it's a Republican baby. I assume a Democrat was president when this episode was made. Ralph says: "Why should he cry if he's a Republican baby." Ed: "He's hollering for a change." Ralph's response to that remark is his "Pow! Right in the kisser" routine.

Ed suggests that since the baby is crying, Ralph should give him some milk. Ed pours the milk into a glove since the glove will be used for a nipple. Ed: "We should patent this idea. It's a great idea for mothers with quintuplets. As Ralph puts the glove right-side up with the bottle being closed by Ralph's hand, Ed gets a pair of scissors to cut one of the fingers. Can you sense that they are going to do something stupid? I can. Sure enough, when Ed cuts one of the fingers, Ralph and Ed get a face-full of milk. They would later do the same thing in the episode titled: "The Adoption." Ralph of course blames Ed for the mishap in this episode. Ed leaves but as he leaves he says that the baby's name is John Wanamaker's baby. Ralph says that the baby couldn't be him since John is a millionaire. So Ed says that if it was John's baby, he would leave him in a taxi. Ed leaves.

Alice comes home with the food and sees that the baby is going to sleep. Alice: "Isn't he darling? He is going to sleep." Ralph disagrees with what Alice says because when he becomes 40, his wife will say: "Turn over Herman, you're snoring." Ralph says that we are going to keep him. Ralph will say that he will work night and day and forget about sleeping.

The police come looking for the kid. Alice and the kid go into the bedroom. Detective Brady of the police comes in and says that he is looking for the kid. He demands to know where the kid is. He called the Foundlin home and he wasn't there. Ralph assumes that he must have stepped out. Ha! The Detective says that the kid's mother is frantic and the reason why she left the kid on the bus alone because she thought she was doing the best thing for the kid and the reason why she wants him back is because she can't get along with the kid. Ralph turns the kid over. The detective and the kid leave with the baby's food.

Ralph says that when the kid left, the baby looked at Ralph as if he was saying: "Let me stay here." Ralph says he didn't mean what he said when he said that baby makes noise. Ralph: "I love kids. I want to have 20 of them." They wound up having nowhere near twenty kids during the whole series. As they hug and kiss, Ralph nice fully says: "One of these days, one of these days."

Ralph may have mentioned in the episode entitled: "Quiz Show" that Ralph probably drove a cab in the beginning of the series. In this episode, he drove a bus. So Ralph probably drove a cab, then quit to drive a bus, then quit to drive a cab, then joined the bus company again or when he says: 'I have to face the people down at the garage." in "Quiz Show", he may have referred to the garage at the bus company.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, the now defunct tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, the now defunct Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.

[Frank Gannucci]

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