Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Ralph Threatens To Leave" ('52) & "New Bowling Ball":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Ralph Threatens To Leave" ('52 version) & "New Bowling Ball":

Episode #23
TV, VHS & DVD: Still lost.
Air Date: ???

Nobody knows for sure if this episode ever aired on TV or not. In the early 2010s, it was revealed that this as long as some other sketches were rumored to have been shown on TV. I am going to assume that the script for this one and this one are on and the same. If it did, it was known as “Meat Substitute.” I haven't seen the "Meat Substitute" version, but I am assuming it is exactly the same.

The episode opens up with Alice cooking dinner. Ralph comes home and gets fed what Alice calls a vegetable meatloaf (one without meat). Ralph doesn’t like it. Ralph: “When a man comes home, he expects some meat for dinner.” Alice calls Ralph a meat head Alice says the meat is a favorite among college girls. Ralph: “I’m a bus driver.” Alice: “Big deal. Bus driver.” That is enough for Ralph to leave.

Ralph gets a big bag to put all his things in. You can see that they still have the TV set from the previous episode. Alice: “You can’t be serious.” Ralph: “Oh, I am.” Ralph: “You never loved me. You feel in love with my uniform.” Ralph said the same thing in “Better Living Through TV.” Alice says that Ralph is acting like a child. Alice: “Where are you going?” Ralph: “Never mind that. Where are YOU going?” Alice: “I’m going to stay home and wash my hair.” Ralph: “That is what our love means. I’m going and you are staying at home to wash your hair.” Ralph hopes that after she washes her hair to curl it so she can go out and flirt. Ralph accuses Alice of flirting with the waiter last Tuesday when they were out for dinner. Alice: “I was looking at the waiter so I can get some meatballs.” Ralph: “When I left a quarter tip, why didn’t you say: ‘Make it 35.’? What was the extra dime for?” Alice: “Because he gave me an extra meatball.” Ralph: “That does it. 400 People in the restaurant and he picks YOU to give an extra meatball too.” Alice has had enough. Alice: “You don’t have to leave. I’M leaving. After 12 years, a meatball came between us.” Ralph says no she won’t. He is “all ready packed.” Ralph: “If you need anything, let me know. If you need me, you can get in touch with me at…as soon as I get there, I will let you know. If you need money, there is $6 in pennies under the bathtub. He leaves. Alice is visibly crying. I guess this counts as one of the 18 or 19 times that he walked out of her life. Ralph comes back. Ralph: “I can’t go. I got a Knights of Columbus meeting tomorrow.” Alice laughs. Alice: “You big lug. We will never break up. I have always loved you even when you short-changed me when I walked on your bus.” Ralph wants to go out for dinner. Alice suggests going out for a pizza. Ralph (angrily): “You starting with meatballs again?” (normally): “I’m sorry baby. Come here.” They hug and kiss.

Episode #26
TV: I believe that this episode was shown on FOX in 1988 during their specials about Jackie Gleason called “The Best of Gleason.” In 2019, Decades channel attached this episode to Part 2 of the '53 or '54 version of "Santa & The Bookies."
DVD: Attached to “Bread”, “Razor Blades”, “New TV Set”, “Ralph Threatens To Leave”, “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”), “The Ring Salesman” (’51 version), “Quiz Show” (’51 version), “Xmas Party” (’51 version), “The Turkey”, “Lost Baby”, “Quiz Show” (’52 version), “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “Jellybeans” & “Six Months To Live” (’51 version).
Air Date: 9/20/52

On the Lost Episode DVD Box Set, there is bonus footage of announcer (Jack Lescoulie) introducing us to the episode in which he says that Audrey Meadows is Alice Kramden. On the Best of Gleason, Ed McMahon introduces us to this sketch. This is the first appearance of Audrey as Alice. The episode opens up with Alice coming home. Trixie comes in. Alice says that she has to rush to make dinner. Alice also bought food and a new bowling ball for Ralph. Ralph is going bowling tonight. The boys come in. Ralph looks at the bowling ball and loves it. Ralph: “She’s all mine.” Ed: “I hope the two of you are very happy together.” Ed said that he saved money to get a bowling ball, but she says that Trixie thought of only herself and got her tooth pulled with that money. The Nortons leave.

Ralph is ready for dinner. He is upset that dinner isn’t near ready yet. When Alice tells Ralph what they are having, he doesn’t like it. Alice asks Ralph to unwrap the steak. When Ralph finds out that the steak is frozen solid, he is upset. The steak has to thaw out but Ralph has to go bowling in a little while. Ralph yells. Alice: “Keep yelling and the steak will thaw out in no time.” This is also one of the first times that Ralph says to Alice that one of these days, he will hit her. Ralph gets the can opener but has difficulty with it. He accidentally hurts his finger with the can opener. According to Ralph, now he can’t go bowling. Alice says for him to stop exaggerating. Ralph tires to prove Alice wrong by putting his hurt finger in the bowling ball. He can’t get it all the way in somehow. Ralph: “I’m going bowling now.” Ralph then finds out that he can’t get his fingers out of the ball. Uh oh! Ralph is upset at Alice some more. He now thinks he can’t do his job anymore because of the fact that he has a bowling ball stuck to him. Ed comes down. Ralph explains to him what just happened to him. Ed: “Why don’t you go on a diet? Maybe it will drop off.” Alice and Ed help Ralph out. Ed grabs the ball while Alice grabs Ralph by the waist and both of them pull. The ball falls off as Ralph backs into the corner with Alice behind him and accidentally hits her slightly. Ralph’s thumb is so hurt that he thinks he (Ralph) can’t go bowling. Ed leaves. Ralph is still upset at Alice. Ralph calls him unlucky. Ralph: “Not as unlucky as King Faruk though.” Alice says that Ralph hurt his left hand. Ralph finds out that he is RIGHT HANDED. So, he can go bowling after all. He tries to leave. Alice wishes him good luck. Ralph is upset at what he just did to Alice. He asks Alice if she wants to see him bowl. She says yes. Ralph: “Baby, you’re the greatest.” They hug and kiss.

Credit I believe goes to The old Bill 'Mooners Archive, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Yahoo! Groups You’re A Riot! & amazon.com