Sitcom Family Feud: Mama's Family - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

MrCleveland · 02-14-2019, 07:25 PM

Another sitcom dedicated to the late-great Ken Berry...this time, it's the cast of Mama's Family, and I'm gonna use the ep where the Harpers are on Family Feud, so...here's another Sitcom Family Feud!

Announcer: Welcome Back to Sitcom Family Feud! Here's your host...The Ghost of Richard Dawson!

Richard Dawson comes in.

Richard: Okay, welcome back to Sitcom Family Feud, we have another interesting episode again with our champions The Warners, so...bring 'em down!

The Warners enter the stage and go to their podium.

Richard: Here we see Tony still smiling...

Tony: yep...I gave some money to Dustin...he needed some despite working at G's Pizza.

Richard: I'm sure I'll be hearing his story. Next, we have Helen...

Helen: Yep.

Richard: Saving-up on any of that money?

Helen: Yes I am...

Richard: Well...if your son Paul can give some proper answers...maybe you can have more. And speaking of which...we have Paul here now...

Paul: My pastor took a sabbatical and I'm STILL their pawn...

Richard: Okay, nothing going on in his life, so we go to Dustin Warner...

Dustin: Yep...I work at G's Pizza! I'm not broke, I just have some money saved.

Richard: You guy don't seem to have buck issues...why are you on this bloody show?

Dustin: We could use a little more...

Richard: That's what they all say...here now we have Margaret.

Margaret: Yes...I work at the school with autistic children...most of them aren't autistic...one's a Canadian.

Richard: Now, here's your family that's competing...The Harper Family...

The Harpers enter (This is the syndicated version). Mama closes her eyes before Richard is about to kiss her.

Richard: You must be Thelma Harper...are you over anxious?

Mama: Just get this over with!

Richard kisses Mama.

Mama: That wasn't half bad...

Richard: It was pretty good for me too...can I meet your whole family?

Mama: You sure can, this is my son Vinton. It was his idea to come here since he's a locksmith and he doesn't do anything well. Vint has a gift for you...

Vinton gives Richard a padlock.

Vinton: That's burglar-proof...it can only be opened with a key.

Vinton tries to find the key.

Mama: Hurry up, Vint...we're on TV.

Vinton gives-up looking.

Vinton: I'll mail you a key for that...I'll need the lock back....

Richard hands the padlock back to Vinton.

Richard: Thanks...that was the nicest gift I ever got...

Mama: This is Naomi, Vinton's second wife. His first wife ran away and became a cocktail waitress in Las Vegas.

Naomi leans toward Richard and kisses him.

Mama: Good Lord...and this is my grandson, Bubba Higgins.

Bubba: Hey Richard!

Richard: Hey Bubba!

Mama: He's a strange boy, but I like him anyhow.

Richard: And who's that at the end over there?

Mama: That's my neighbor, Iola Boylen.

Iola: Give me a juicy one, Richard...

Richard: let's not and say we did...now...let us play the feud!

Mama and Tony walk to the podium, Mama is hesitant but Richard encourages her to shake Tony's hand.

Richard: Good luck.

Mama: Good luck to you, Tone...

Tony: Wanna get lucky later?

Mama: I dunno...

Richard: Thelma, put your hand over here...

Mama: Isn't that cute...a little hand over there.

Richard: Okay, pay attention now...

Mamma: Whoo...

Richard: 100 people surveyed 6...

Thelma is excited, Richard calms her down.

Mama: I'm listening, Richard...

Richard: One hand, one hand...okay?

Richard: 100 people surveyed top-6 answers on the board, you gotta answer the popular answer, here's the question...name an animal besides a dog or a cat that a family might have as a pet.

Mama: (Shouts without buzzing-in...but Tony buzzes in) Bunny Rabbit!

Tony: Hey...I freakin' buzzed-in!

Richard: Tony, lemme handle this...no...no...no...

Mama: Don't-cha tell me "No", we had Fluffy for years, didn't we?

Tony: Well...Margaret had a rabbit named Sylvester who banged everything, and her daughters have a rabbit named Marshmallow...

Richard: (Interrupts Tony) Tony, please! No Thelma, you have to push the buzzer before you answer the question. But since Tony buzzed-in...he goes first. You know for a second, I didn't think she was gonna catch on to this game. You see...you hit that...

Thelma buzzes-in again.

Mama: Bunny Rabbit!

Tony: Will it be my freakin' turn?

Richard: She's such a sweetie, she's a little nervous, let's throw this question out...

Mama: It is a good answer, bunny rabbit.

Richard: It is a good answer...

Tony buzzes-in.

Richard: what is it?

Tony: can I freakin' answer?

Richard: In a minute...let's reset this board and I'll give-out a new pair of questions, shall we?

Mama: I'm sorry, Howard...

Richard: 100 people surveyed top-8 answers on the board...just one hand...

Tony: That's how I work...

Richard: Do I even wanna know? Here's the question...name an article of clothing that you generally buy in pairs.

Tony buzzes-in, Thelma freaks-out!

Richard: You okay?

Mama: That just scared the Holy Sugar out of me...

Tony: That almost sounded like "Holy ****"!

Richard: Tony...you can't say **** on TV!

Tony: I just did!

Richard: Well...what's your answer?

Tony: Lingerie!

Richard: Wow...coming from a guy who said one of the seven words that you can't say on TV. Show me...lingerie!

16 people said undergarments, which is the #4 answer.

Richard: Thelma, one answer is just...

Thelma buzzes-in.

Richard: you don't have to buzz-in...forget this, just give me an answer!

Mama: I'm gonna say a pair of trousers.

Richard: All right, a pair of trousers...

2 people said trousers, it's the #6 answer.

Richard: Tony, you have control of the board, what are you gonna do?

Tony: First...I'm gonna pass...

Richard: Okay, the Harper family has control of the board...

Tony: I wan't finished!

Mama: Good Lord, what did you eat?

Tony: A lot of greens and black-eyed peas!

Richard: Let's get away from the stinky guy...no look...you're a great player, don't get intimidated. Bunny rabbit is a good answer, trousers is a good answer, now I'm gonna ask your son the same question...name an article of clothing that you generally buy in pairs.

Vinton: Shoes.

Richard: Let's see if shoes is up there!

33 people said shoes, it's the #1 answer.

Richard: Naomi, what would you say?

Naomi: I bought some of these yesterday...gloves.

Richard: Okay, show me...gloves!

18 people said gloves, it's the #3 answer.

Richard: Bubba...name an article of clothing that you generally buy in pairs.

Bubba: I just bought some today...socks.

Richard: Is a pair of socks up there?

20 people said socks, it's the #2 answer.

Richard: Iola...name an article of clothing that you generally buy in pairs.

Iola: Earrings!

Richard: Earrings...I guess you can say earrings. An article I know I'll feel naked if I don't go out with my...earrings!

1 person said earrings, it's the #7 answer.

Richard: Okay, we go back to Thelma.

Mama: I got it...shoelaces!

Richard: Okay...is shoelaces up there?

BUZZ

Richard moves to The Warners podium, they argue what the answer they should say. Paul then bangs the gavel.

Paul: Would you just listen to me for a second? Shirts come in pairs!

Tony: I think I'll go with...

Vinton: Did they think of earmuffs?

Tony: Thanks, Vint!

Vinton: I hate being called that!

Tony: Well...no one gives a ****...

Richard: Tony!

Tony: Yes, Dick?

Richard: I don't appreciate your foul-mouth attitude! And never call me "Dick"! Now...what's your answer?

Tony: Vint gave me the answer...earmuffs!

Richard: Show me...earmuffs!

1 person said earmuffs, it's the #8 answer.

Richard: Then...what's the #6 answer?

7 people said shirts, it's the #6 answer.

Richard: Well, we must say goodbye to The Harper Family.

Vinton: Mama...why did you say shoelaces?

Mama: Well...I always buy them in pairs at Worrell Mart!

Vinton: Shoelaces?

Bubba: Hey...wanna watch us on TV later?

Mama: I pray that your papa Carl, God Rest His Soul, you didn't do anything for me down here, but do something to end this stupid show!

Vinton: Mama...I'm afraid that I'll be seeing Papa...

Naomi: What do you mean?

Vinton: It's my time...and Paul...

Vinton goes toward Paul.

Vinton: takes these earmuffs...you need them more in Bertstown. I'm going to see the Lord!

Richard: There's something that I've been seeing. Okay, who's gonna play the fast money round?

The Warners except Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is!

Paul: I might as well wear these earmuffs...so I don't have to hear that!

Richard: I won't say you make a fool out of yourself, you just have some interesting answers. Let's put 15 seconds on the clock please.

:15 is seen.

Richard: Name a sport played in the water.

Paul: Waboba!

BUZZ

Richard: Name a type of penguin.

Paul: Jackass Penguin.

BUZZ

Tony: Stop the clock, stop the freakin' clock! Why did I chewed-out for saying "****", but Paul can say "Jackass"?

Richard: Because that IS a name of a penguin! Can we continue? Name a candy bar that doesn't have chocolate.

Paul: Mary Jane.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a genre of jazz.

Paul: Hard Bop.

BUZZ

Richard: Name a part of the respiratory system.

Paul: The Larynx.

BUZZ

Richard: Maybe we should have you be one of the surveyors...you give some good answers yet you stump 'em every time! So, no money today but you guys get to play again on Sitcom Family Feud!

02-14-2019, 07:25 PM	#1
MrCleveland Drew Carey from Hell Forum Star Join Date: Nov 10, 2007 Location: The City of Cleveland, in The State of Cleveland, in The United States of Cleveland Posts: 14,222	Sitcom Family Feud: Mama's Family Another sitcom dedicated to the late-great Ken Berry...this time, it's the cast of Mama's Family, and I'm gonna use the ep where the Harpers are on Family Feud, so...here's another Sitcom Family Feud! Announcer: Welcome Back to Sitcom Family Feud! Here's your host...The Ghost of Richard Dawson! Richard Dawson comes in. Richard: Okay, welcome back to Sitcom Family Feud, we have another interesting episode again with our champions The Warners, so...bring 'em down! The Warners enter the stage and go to their podium. Richard: Here we see Tony still smiling... Tony: yep...I gave some money to Dustin...he needed some despite working at G's Pizza. Richard: I'm sure I'll be hearing his story. Next, we have Helen... Helen: Yep. Richard: Saving-up on any of that money? Helen: Yes I am... Richard: Well...if your son Paul can give some proper answers...maybe you can have more. And speaking of which...we have Paul here now... Paul: My pastor took a sabbatical and I'm STILL their pawn... Richard: Okay, nothing going on in his life, so we go to Dustin Warner... Dustin: Yep...I work at G's Pizza! I'm not broke, I just have some money saved. Richard: You guy don't seem to have buck issues...why are you on this bloody show? Dustin: We could use a little more... Richard: That's what they all say...here now we have Margaret. Margaret: Yes...I work at the school with autistic children...most of them aren't autistic...one's a Canadian. Richard: Now, here's your family that's competing...The Harper Family... The Harpers enter (This is the syndicated version). Mama closes her eyes before Richard is about to kiss her. Richard: You must be Thelma Harper...are you over anxious? Mama: Just get this over with! Richard kisses Mama. Mama: That wasn't half bad... Richard: It was pretty good for me too...can I meet your whole family? Mama: You sure can, this is my son Vinton. It was his idea to come here since he's a locksmith and he doesn't do anything well. Vint has a gift for you... Vinton gives Richard a padlock. Vinton: That's burglar-proof...it can only be opened with a key. Vinton tries to find the key. Mama: Hurry up, Vint...we're on TV. Vinton gives-up looking. Vinton: I'll mail you a key for that...I'll need the lock back.... Richard hands the padlock back to Vinton. Richard: Thanks...that was the nicest gift I ever got... Mama: This is Naomi, Vinton's second wife. His first wife ran away and became a cocktail waitress in Las Vegas. Naomi leans toward Richard and kisses him. Mama: Good Lord...and this is my grandson, Bubba Higgins. Bubba: Hey Richard! Richard: Hey Bubba! Mama: He's a strange boy, but I like him anyhow. Richard: And who's that at the end over there? Mama: That's my neighbor, Iola Boylen. Iola: Give me a juicy one, Richard... Richard: let's not and say we did...now...let us play the feud! Mama and Tony walk to the podium, Mama is hesitant but Richard encourages her to shake Tony's hand. Richard: Good luck. Mama: Good luck to you, Tone... Tony: Wanna get lucky later? Mama: I dunno... Richard: Thelma, put your hand over here... Mama: Isn't that cute...a little hand over there. Richard: Okay, pay attention now... Mamma: Whoo... Richard: 100 people surveyed 6... Thelma is excited, Richard calms her down. Mama: I'm listening, Richard... Richard: One hand, one hand...okay? Richard: 100 people surveyed top-6 answers on the board, you gotta answer the popular answer, here's the question...name an animal besides a dog or a cat that a family might have as a pet. Mama: (Shouts without buzzing-in...but Tony buzzes in) Bunny Rabbit! Tony: Hey...I freakin' buzzed-in! Richard: Tony, lemme handle this...no...no...no... Mama: Don't-cha tell me "No", we had Fluffy for years, didn't we? Tony: Well...Margaret had a rabbit named Sylvester who banged everything, and her daughters have a rabbit named Marshmallow... Richard: (Interrupts Tony) Tony, please! No Thelma, you have to push the buzzer before you answer the question. But since Tony buzzed-in...he goes first. You know for a second, I didn't think she was gonna catch on to this game. You see...you hit that... Thelma buzzes-in again. Mama: Bunny Rabbit! Tony: Will it be my freakin' turn? Richard: She's such a sweetie, she's a little nervous, let's throw this question out... Mama: It is a good answer, bunny rabbit. Richard: It is a good answer... Tony buzzes-in. Richard: what is it? Tony: can I freakin' answer? Richard: In a minute...let's reset this board and I'll give-out a new pair of questions, shall we? Mama: I'm sorry, Howard... Richard: 100 people surveyed top-8 answers on the board...just one hand... Tony: That's how I work... Richard: Do I even wanna know? Here's the question...name an article of clothing that you generally buy in pairs. Tony buzzes-in, Thelma freaks-out! Richard: You okay? Mama: That just scared the Holy Sugar out of me... Tony: That almost sounded like "Holy **"! Richard: Tony...you can't say on TV! Tony: I just did! Richard: Well...what's your answer? Tony: Lingerie! Richard: Wow...coming from a guy who said one of the seven words that you can't say on TV. Show me...lingerie! 16 people said undergarments, which is the #4 answer. Richard: Thelma, one answer is just... Thelma buzzes-in. Richard: you don't have to buzz-in...forget this, just give me an answer! Mama: I'm gonna say a pair of trousers. Richard: All right, a pair of trousers... 2 people said trousers, it's the #6 answer. Richard: Tony, you have control of the board, what are you gonna do? Tony: First...I'm gonna pass... Richard: Okay, the Harper family has control of the board... Tony: I wan't finished! Mama: Good Lord, what did you eat? Tony: A lot of greens and black-eyed peas! Richard: Let's get away from the stinky guy...no look...you're a great player, don't get intimidated. Bunny rabbit is a good answer, trousers is a good answer, now I'm gonna ask your son the same question...name an article of clothing that you generally buy in pairs. Vinton: Shoes. Richard: Let's see if shoes is up there! 33 people said shoes, it's the #1 answer. Richard: Naomi, what would you say? Naomi: I bought some of these yesterday...gloves. Richard: Okay, show me...gloves! 18 people said gloves, it's the #3 answer. Richard: Bubba...name an article of clothing that you generally buy in pairs. Bubba: I just bought some today...socks. Richard: Is a pair of socks up there? 20 people said socks, it's the #2 answer. Richard: Iola...name an article of clothing that you generally buy in pairs. Iola: Earrings! Richard: Earrings...I guess you can say earrings. An article I know I'll feel naked if I don't go out with my...earrings! 1 person said earrings, it's the #7 answer. Richard: Okay, we go back to Thelma. Mama: I got it...shoelaces! Richard: Okay...is shoelaces up there? BUZZ Richard moves to The Warners podium, they argue what the answer they should say. Paul then bangs the gavel. Paul: Would you just listen to me for a second? Shirts come in pairs! Tony: I think I'll go with... Vinton: Did they think of earmuffs? Tony: Thanks, Vint! Vinton: I hate being called that! Tony: Well...no one gives a ... Richard: Tony! Tony: Yes, Dick? Richard: I don't appreciate your foul-mouth attitude! And never call me "Dick"! Now...what's your answer? Tony: Vint gave me the answer...earmuffs! Richard: Show me...earmuffs! 1 person said earmuffs, it's the #8 answer. Richard: Then...what's the #6 answer? 7 people said shirts, it's the #6 answer. Richard: Well, we must say goodbye to The Harper Family. Vinton: Mama...why did you say shoelaces? Mama: Well...I always buy them in pairs at Worrell Mart! Vinton: Shoelaces? Bubba: Hey...wanna watch us on TV later? Mama: I pray that your papa Carl, God Rest His Soul, you didn't do anything for me down here, but do something to end this stupid show! Vinton: Mama...I'm afraid that I'll be seeing Papa... Naomi: What do you mean? Vinton: It's my time...and Paul... Vinton goes toward Paul. Vinton: takes these earmuffs...you need them more in Bertstown. I'm going to see the Lord! Richard: There's something that I've been seeing. Okay, who's gonna play the fast money round? The Warners except Paul: Paul Is! Paul Is! Paul: I might as well wear these earmuffs...so I don't have to hear that! Richard: I won't say you make a fool out of yourself, you just have some interesting answers. Let's put 15 seconds on the clock please. :15 is seen. Richard: Name a sport played in the water. Paul: Waboba! BUZZ Richard: Name a type of penguin. Paul: Jackass Penguin. BUZZ Tony: Stop the clock, stop the freakin' clock! Why did I chewed-out for saying "*", but Paul can say "Jackass"? Richard: Because that IS a name of a penguin! Can we continue? Name a candy bar that doesn't have chocolate. Paul: Mary Jane. BUZZ Richard: Name a genre of jazz. Paul: Hard Bop. BUZZ Richard: Name a part of the respiratory system. Paul: The Larynx. BUZZ Richard: Maybe we should have you be one of the surveyors...you give some good answers yet you stump 'em every time! So, no money today but you guys get to play again on Sitcom Family Feud*!
	__________________ Thank God for kids that love Obscure Things. Lee Hazlewood (1929-2007) You ARE Special to God! Rev. Ernest Angely (August 1921-May 2021) Last edited by MrCleveland; 02-15-2019 at 01:11 PM.