Things You would Like To Hear Someone Say on an LITB ep - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

OH Nuts! · 01-01-2019, 02:24 PM

This is of course wishful thinking as this was a 50’s show with things often so very subtly inferred. But if we could have had bluntness....

For example:

Judy: Miss Landers, Beaver was reading a comic book while you were outside talking to Mrs. Rayburn.

Miss L: THANK YOU Judy. Beaver that’ll be one day of detention for you, and TWO for you Judy, because I can’t stand anything worse that a brown-nosing phony snitch.

stevea · 01-01-2019, 09:59 PM

Miss Landers: Larry, are you telling me you turned in Beaver's homework as you own?

Larry: Uh, yes, Miss Landers.

Miss Landers: March yourself right down to Mrs. Rayburn's office and tell her what you did.

OH Nuts! · 01-01-2019, 11:31 PM

Eddie: Gee what nice pearls you have on Mrs. Cleaver. And young Theodore looks quite the little fellow in his suit.

June: Cut the crap Eddie. We all know what a phony you are.

stevea · 01-02-2019, 01:57 PM

Eddie: I'm very sorry I changed Beaver's report card, Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver.

Ward: We've had with you, Eddie--this is the last straw, and probably the worst thing you have done involving our family. I don't ever want to see you in this house again.

ThisLittlePiggy · 01-02-2019, 06:47 PM

Eddie Haskell: Oh. Hi, Mrs. Cleaver. Gee Mrs. Cleaver, your hair looks real pretty today.

June: (rolling her eyes) Oh, buzz off, you little creep!

stevea · 01-02-2019, 07:01 PM

Eddie (as Ward answers the door): How do you do Mr. Cleaver? May I tell you, your front lawn looks awfully nice. Is Wallace at home?

Ward: Go suck an egg, Eddie.

Scrabjan1 · 01-09-2019, 12:16 PM

Eddie: Don’t put any mayonnaise on my sandwich Mrs. Cleaver I’m allergic.

June: Oh you’re so full of it, Eddie. Then you won’t get a sandwich. How does that grab ya?

Larry outside yelling up to Beaver who’s grounded.

Larry: Your father’s a real Scrooge.

Ward: I heard that Larry. Your father’s got a woman in Cincinnati and your mother’s old enough to be your granny so shut up.

stevea · 01-09-2019, 01:29 PM

LOL on the Larry one!

(June "catches" Eddie singing at the mirror in the boys' room)

Eddie: I was just practicing for the glee club.

June: Cut the crap, Eddie. Now, OUT!

stevea · 01-09-2019, 01:30 PM

Judy: Don't forget the math quiz, Miss Landers.

Miss L: Dry up, Judy! I'm running this show.

stevea · 01-09-2019, 01:33 PM

June (at the door): Hello, Fred. What can I do for you?

Fred: Hello, June. My business is with the lord of the manor.

June: OK--what can I do for you?

Scrabjan1 · 01-09-2019, 05:16 PM

LOL.

June: It’s too bad you can’t send Beaver’s thank you letter to the wallet lady.

Ward: Of course I’m sending it to her. As a matter of fact I might bring it to her home. She lives right over on Hudson Avenue. Beaver said she’s hot and she might give me a present.

June: Ward Cleaver you stay away from Hudson. Who do you think you are Chopper Cooper’s old man.

Scrabjan1 · 01-09-2019, 05:21 PM

Chopper: My father lives with his new wife.

Ward: Do you have any brothers Chopper?

Chopper: Not real brothers, but I do have 3 half brothers and one half sister and I used to have two stepbrothers before Pop’s second divorce.

June: How could she be his new wife if he has four children?

stevea · 01-09-2019, 06:43 PM

(Beaver is up a tree after Ward rejected his Millionaire book)

Ward: Come on down, son.

Wally: I'll get 'im.

Beaver: If you do I'll go higher.

Ward: He's really upset about something. (Wally and June go inside.)

Beaver: You said you'd give my book an honored place in your library.

Ward: Oh, I'm sorry, Beaver. I should have found a better hiding place than the cookie drawer. If I had, though, your mother would have found it, anyway.

Beaver: Everybody lies to me. Mom about the blouse I gave her, you about the book I got you. I think I'll shut myself in the bathroom an' read Red River Sam. If I can ever get enough money to buy another one.

Ward: Why you little brat, we lie to you because lying is all YOU do. Now get out of that tree before I get the axe and chop it down.

OH Nuts! · 01-10-2019, 10:31 AM

Mr. Rutherford: You know what my boy Lawrence did today, he changed a light bulb. Saved me from having to call an electrician.

Ward: I guess that F+ he got on his last science exam really paid off!

MichaelMartinD · 01-14-2019, 10:29 AM

Ward: June, there's no danger in Beaver playing around a dump. Why, I remember when I was a boy--

June: Ward, I'm sick of hearing your cornpone stories about when you were a boy!

01-01-2019, 02:24 PM	#1
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	Things You would Like To Hear Someone Say on an LITB ep This is of course wishful thinking as this was a 50’s show with things often so very subtly inferred. But if we could have had bluntness.... For example: Judy: Miss Landers, Beaver was reading a comic book while you were outside talking to Mrs. Rayburn. Miss L: THANK YOU Judy. Beaver that’ll be one day of detention for you, and TWO for you Judy, because I can’t stand anything worse that a brown-nosing phony snitch.

01-01-2019, 09:59 PM	#2
stevea 22 Years On Sitcoms Moderator Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 13, 2003 Location: Indy Posts: 44,791	Miss Landers: Larry, are you telling me you turned in Beaver's homework as you own? Larry: Uh, yes, Miss Landers. Miss Landers: March yourself right down to Mrs. Rayburn's office and tell her what you did.

01-01-2019, 11:31 PM	#3
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	Eddie: Gee what nice pearls you have on Mrs. Cleaver. And young Theodore looks quite the little fellow in his suit. June: Cut the crap Eddie. We all know what a phony you are.

01-02-2019, 01:57 PM	#4
stevea 22 Years On Sitcoms Moderator Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 13, 2003 Location: Indy Posts: 44,791	Eddie: I'm very sorry I changed Beaver's report card, Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver. Ward: We've had with you, Eddie--this is the last straw, and probably the worst thing you have done involving our family. I don't ever want to see you in this house again.

01-02-2019, 06:47 PM	#5
ThisLittlePiggy Member Forum Junkie Join Date: Nov 02, 2013 Posts: 84,874	Eddie Haskell: Oh. Hi, Mrs. Cleaver. Gee Mrs. Cleaver, your hair looks real pretty today. June: (rolling her eyes) Oh, buzz off, you little creep!

01-02-2019, 07:01 PM	#6
stevea 22 Years On Sitcoms Moderator Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 13, 2003 Location: Indy Posts: 44,791	Eddie (as Ward answers the door): How do you do Mr. Cleaver? May I tell you, your front lawn looks awfully nice. Is Wallace at home? Ward: Go suck an egg, Eddie.

01-09-2019, 12:16 PM	#7
Scrabjan1 Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 27, 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,521	Eddie: Don’t put any mayonnaise on my sandwich Mrs. Cleaver I’m allergic. June: Oh you’re so full of it, Eddie. Then you won’t get a sandwich. How does that grab ya? Larry outside yelling up to Beaver who’s grounded. Larry: Your father’s a real Scrooge. Ward: I heard that Larry. Your father’s got a woman in Cincinnati and your mother’s old enough to be your granny so shut up.

01-09-2019, 01:29 PM	#8
stevea 22 Years On Sitcoms Moderator Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 13, 2003 Location: Indy Posts: 44,791	LOL on the Larry one! (June "catches" Eddie singing at the mirror in the boys' room) Eddie: I was just practicing for the glee club. June: Cut the crap, Eddie. Now, OUT!

01-09-2019, 01:30 PM	#9
stevea 22 Years On Sitcoms Moderator Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 13, 2003 Location: Indy Posts: 44,791	Judy: Don't forget the math quiz, Miss Landers. Miss L: Dry up, Judy! I'm running this show.

01-09-2019, 01:33 PM	#10
stevea 22 Years On Sitcoms Moderator Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 13, 2003 Location: Indy Posts: 44,791	June (at the door): Hello, Fred. What can I do for you? Fred: Hello, June. My business is with the lord of the manor. June: OK--what can I do for you?

01-09-2019, 05:16 PM	#11
Scrabjan1 Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 27, 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,521	LOL. June: It’s too bad you can’t send Beaver’s thank you letter to the wallet lady. Ward: Of course I’m sending it to her. As a matter of fact I might bring it to her home. She lives right over on Hudson Avenue. Beaver said she’s hot and she might give me a present. June: Ward Cleaver you stay away from Hudson. Who do you think you are Chopper Cooper’s old man.

01-09-2019, 05:21 PM	#12
Scrabjan1 Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 27, 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,521	Chopper: My father lives with his new wife. Ward: Do you have any brothers Chopper? Chopper: Not real brothers, but I do have 3 half brothers and one half sister and I used to have two stepbrothers before Pop’s second divorce. June: How could she be his new wife if he has four children?

01-09-2019, 06:43 PM	#13
stevea 22 Years On Sitcoms Moderator Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 13, 2003 Location: Indy Posts: 44,791	(Beaver is up a tree after Ward rejected his Millionaire book) Ward: Come on down, son. Wally: I'll get 'im. Beaver: If you do I'll go higher. Ward: He's really upset about something. (Wally and June go inside.) Beaver: You said you'd give my book an honored place in your library. Ward: Oh, I'm sorry, Beaver. I should have found a better hiding place than the cookie drawer. If I had, though, your mother would have found it, anyway. Beaver: Everybody lies to me. Mom about the blouse I gave her, you about the book I got you. I think I'll shut myself in the bathroom an' read Red River Sam. If I can ever get enough money to buy another one. Ward: Why you little brat, we lie to you because lying is all YOU do. Now get out of that tree before I get the axe and chop it down.

01-10-2019, 10:31 AM	#14
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	Mr. Rutherford: You know what my boy Lawrence did today, he changed a light bulb. Saved me from having to call an electrician. Ward: I guess that F+ he got on his last science exam really paid off!

01-14-2019, 10:29 AM	#15
MichaelMartinD Member Forum Regular Join Date: Dec 23, 2013 Posts: 576	Ward: June, there's no danger in Beaver playing around a dump. Why, I remember when I was a boy-- June: Ward, I'm sick of hearing your cornpone stories about when you were a boy!