All In The Family Limericks

[OH Nuts!]

There once was a cousin named Maude
Who surely thought Archie a clod
When he aired a dumb view
She countered one two
Inferring his thinking was flawed!

[ThisLittlePiggy]

There once was a son-in-law named Mike
Who caused Archie's blood pressure to spike
"Meathead!" was yelled
And Mike's ego was felled
Archie wished he'd just take a hike.

[OH Nuts!]

And....

The once was a meathead named Mike
To whom Archie took serious dislike
Mike ate like a mule
And studied for school
Which causes his grade points to spike!

[ThisLittlePiggy]

There once was a dingbat named Edith
Who liked to watch her Zenith.
When she wasn't getting Archie beer
She liked to talk to her dear
Gloria whose blondeness made her look Swedish.

[cfr1970]

Mine's a bit on the morbid side:

There once was a house in Queens
A place of death it would seem.
In the attic Cousin Oscar he croaked
On the sofa a watchmaker stroked
And Edith dropped dead while she dreamed.

[OH Nuts!]

There once was a neighbor named Weezie
With a nature quite pleasant—not cheesy
Edith was a good friend
And with her husband she’d tend
To deflect actions that could be quite sleazy!

[ThisLittlePiggy]

Edith Bunker was a housewife.
Serving beer to Archie was a large part of her life.
But she did volunteer work
And got away from that jerk
Or else maybe she would have shanked him with a bread knife.

[Heenan Fan]

There was a girl named Robin, who was quiet as a mouse
Who insisted she and her boyfriend sleep in the Bunker house
They were sooooo bad
Even the Meathead and Gloria were mad
And Archie shoulda kicked those hippy's out, on their ASS!

[ThisLittlePiggy]

Get me a beer! Get me a beer!
That's all poor Edith would ever hear.
But she did get to roam
To the Sunshine Home
And at times avoid Archie's sneer.