Are you obsessed with... ?

[vienna waits]

Tell me which ones apply to you!





You know you're hooked on the internet if...

You think surfing is something you do on dry land.

You find yourself staring at your "inbox" waiting for new email to arrive.

You communicate with people on other continents more than you do with your own neighbors.

Your business cards contain your email address.

You promise yourself "you'll only stay online for 15 more minutes" at least once every hour.

You dream about creating the world's greatest website.

You start using smileys in your snail mail.

You stay up late every night waiting for your wife and children to fall asleep so you can go online.

*
*
*
*

You know you're really hooked on the internet if...

You think faxes are old fashioned.

You cut classes or miss work so you can stay home and browse the web.

Everyone you know asks why your phone like is always busy, and you're seriously considering getting
a second phone line.

You get up before the sun rises to check your email, and you find yourself in that same chair long after
the sun has set.

You cancel your newspaper subscription.

You forget to eat because you were too busy surfing the net.

You buy a pager so family and friends that really need to get through can beep you to return their call.

You religiously respond immediately to email, while ignoring your growing pile of snail mail.

When someone asks you for your address, you give them your URL.

You sit down at the computer right after dinner and your spouse says, "See you in the morning"

You leave yourself email before you go to bed to remind you what to do when you wake up.

your kids start referring to you as "that guy in front of the monitor."

You're constantly yelling at your wife for using the phone for stupid things... like talking.

You purchase a laptop so you can surf while sitting on the can.

You install a mirror over your PC because you're too lazy to walk to the larger one.

You set up a webcam as your home's security system.

You actually volunteer to become your employer's webmaster.

You decide to stay in college for an extra year or two, just for the free Internet access.

You started college as a history major, and walk out four years later as an Internet provider.

You brag to all your friends about your date Saturday night... but you don't tell them is was only in a
chat room.

You join listservs for the extra email.

You spend Saturday night making the counter on your homepage pass the 2000 mark.

At parties, you introduce your wife as your "service provider"

Your wife melts your keyboard in the oven.

Your pet rock leaves home.

You email your boss telling him you'll be late.

In addition to your email address being on your business cards, you even have your own domain.

Your husband has his lawyer deliver the divorce papers... via email.

You develop a liking for cold coffee.

Your computer costs more than your car.

Your house stinks because you haven't cleaned it in a month.

Your claim to fame is having the quickest double clicking mouse finger in the entire state.

You go outside and look for a brightness knob to turn down the sun.

Your "significant other" erases every one of your bookmarks... except the one to Netaholics Anonymous.

you kiss your boyfriend's homepage.

You physically fight the other surfer in the house to get online.

Your bookmark page takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

You get a tuner card so you can watch tv while surfing.

You and your friends get together regularly in IRC, even though all of you live in the same city.

When told to "go to your room," you inform your parents that you can't... because you were kicked out and banned.

You know everyone at your ISP on a first name basis.

Your eyeglasses have a website burned in on them.

You find yourself brainstorming for new topics to search.

You have your email forwarded to your alpha-numeric pager.

You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phonelines.

You finally do take that vacation, after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.

You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop in your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment.

*
*
*
*

It may be time to seek professional counselling if...

Email Deficiency Depression (EDD) forces you to email yourself.

You lie, even to user friends, about how long you were on yesterday.

You do get that second phone line, but you use it to call your secondary ISP.

You find yourself counting emoticons to get to sleep.

All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net:
28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.

...and even your night dreams are in HTML.

You rate eating establishments not by the quality of the food, but by the availibility of electrical outlets for your PowerBook.

You find yourself typing .com after every period when using a word processor.com

You turn of your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

*
*
*
*

You might be able to qualify for disability benefits if...

You start introducing yourself as "Jim at A-O-L dot com."

Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.

You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new email arrives.

Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

All your friends have an @ in their names.

When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are highlighted in purple.

You read the entire Netaholics Anonymous page looking for something that doesn't describe you.

*
*
*
*

Perhaps you should consider starting your own local chapter of Netaholics Anonymous if...

Your dog has its own webpage.

You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos.

It takes you two hours to check all 14 of your mailboxes.

You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.

You eagerly await the update of the "Cool Site of the Day"

You consider bandwidth to be more important than carats.

You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.

You work for a newspaper and your editor asks you to write an article about internet addiction... in the "first person"

You ask if the "Netaholics Anonymous" t-shirt you ordered can be sent to you via Email.

You check your mail. It says no new messages. So you check it again.

You use Real Audio to listen to a radio station from a distant city rather than turn on your stereo
system.

You refer to your age as 3.x

On Super Bowl Sunday you followed the score by going to the Yahoo main page instead of turning on the tv.

You have commandeered your teenagers phoneline and even her friends know not to call on her line anymore.

Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

*
*
*
*

Now is the time to apply for citizenship to Cyberia if...

You're being audited because you mailed your tax return to the IRC.

You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom.

You'd rather go to http://www.weather.com/ than look out your window.

You'd rather catch a score on the web than watch the game as it is being played on tv.

You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.

Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

You miss more than 5 meals a week downloading the latest games from French Guinea.

You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.

You really believe in the concept of a "paperless" office.

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your email on the way back to bed.

You vote for foreign officials.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you Landscape.

You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html

You actually try that 123.elm.street address.

Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
You invent another person and chat with yourself in empty chatrooms.

You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "daddy's got work to do" and you don't even
have a job.

Your friends no longer send you email... they just log on to your IRC channel.

You buy a captain Kirk chair with a built in keyboard and mouse.

Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

You are so familiar with the world wide web that you find a search engine useless.

You get a tatoo that reads "Best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher"

*
*
*
*

You might as well install a phone jack into your jugular vein if...

The Alta Vista administrators ask you what sites are missing in their index files.

You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you are never logged off.

The last girl you picked up was only a .jpeg

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

You forget what year it is.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

You ask your doctor to impland a gigabyte in your brain.

You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind... the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net."

You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited"

You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.

Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your final instinct is to search for the "back" button.

You read all the quotes at Netaholics Anonymous and keep thinking "what's wrong with that?"

The remote to the tv is missing... and you don't even care.

The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30 PM, and in what seems like only a few seconds later,
your sister runs past you to catch the 7 am bus.

You create a homepage with the impression to cure the afflicted... but your hidden agenda is to receive more email.

Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged on in two hours. You start to twitch.

You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to humm to communicate with it. You succeed.

[vienna waits]

These apply to me:

-You think surfing is something you do on dry land.

-You promise yourself "you'll only stay online for 15 more minutes" at least once every hour.

-You stay late every night waiting for your wife and children to fall asleep so you can go online. ( not wife and children but parents and sister)

-You think faxes are old fashioned.

-You forget to eat because you were too busy surfing the net.

-Your dog has its own webpage. ( http://hometown.aol.com/js2686 )

-You consider bandwidth to be more important than carats.

[ks]

It is frightful how many of those apply. Time flies when I'm on this thing. My 5mins always turns into 2hrs.









ks

[JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo]

Originally posted by ks
It is frightful how many of those apply. Time flies when I'm on this thing. My 5mins always turns into 2hrs.









ks

Same here... also, i have degraded myself to searching for a date through AOL's member directory.... I met a guy from online @ work once.... God it didn't go good....(lol JEFF!)

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by ks
It is frightful how many of those apply. Time flies when I'm on this thing. My 5mins always turns into 2hrs.

Yep. I think at least 35 of them apply to me.

And, my 5 minutes always turns into like, 5 HOURS lol

[ks]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


Yep. I think at least 35 of them apply to me.

And, my 5 minutes always turns into like, 5 HOURS lol

Yeah, it's really sad when you spend 9 hours sleeping, 2 hours eating, 4 hours watching TV, 1 hour showering and whatever else, 1 hour of randominity, and the other 7 hours on the internet during your 24 hour day. Of course when I can't sleep, aren't hungry, nothing is on TV, I decided to car less about hygeine, and do nothing random all day, then I'm led to the internet for a lot longer than 7 hours.
I really need to call 1-800-GetALife.





ks

[Kay Scarpetta]

Originally posted by ks
I really need to call 1-800-GetALife.

Yep......I'll come down to your hole and call with you

[ks]

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


Yep......I'll come down to your hole and call with you

Sure thing, come on ahead.





ks

[Hollow]

1nce i was on the internet and my brother had been waiting to get on all day and i said "i promise u can get on at 9:30" and he was like ok and the next thing i knew it was 10:45 and he was maaad lol

[XoVanillaRain90oX]

Goodness I apply to almost all of them! LOL

[Hollow]

These 1s apply to me~

You find yourself staring at your "inbox" waiting for new email to arrive.

You communicate with people on other continents more than you do with your own neighbors.

You promise yourself "you'll only stay online for 15 more minutes" at least once every hour. <- That happens a LOT!!!!!

You start using smileys in your snail mail. [i even use em in my hw ]

You stay up late every night waiting for your wife and children to fall asleep so you can go online. [well not my wife and children cuz i aint got nun lol but my family]

Everyone you know asks why your phone like is always busy, and you're seriously considering getting
a second phone line. [actually i already have 1]

You get up before the sun rises to check your email, and you find yourself in that same chair long after
the sun has set.

You forget to eat because you were too busy surfing the net.

You religiously respond immediately to email, while ignoring your growing pile of snail mail.

You leave yourself email before you go to bed to remind you what to do when you wake up.

You purchase a laptop so you can surf while sitting on the can. [i would but my mom says if i ever get a laptop i'll prolly hafta pay for it myslef ]

You actually volunteer to become your employer's webmaster. [i would if i had a employer]

You decide to stay in college for an extra year or two, just for the free Internet access. [i prolly will!]

You physically fight the other surfer in the house to get online.

You find yourself brainstorming for new topics to search.

You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phonelines. <-HECK YA thats me!!!!!!!

You finally do take that vacation, after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.

You find yourself typing .com after every period when using a word processor.com [that DUZ happen sumtimes when i type a period!

You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new email arrives.

When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are highlighted in purple.

You check your mail. It says no new messages. So you check it again.

You really believe in the concept of a "paperless" office.

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your email on the way back to bed.

You actually try that 123.elm.street address. [I DID!!!!]

You invent another person and chat with yourself in empty chatrooms.

You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "daddy's got work to do" and you don't even
have a job. [well i dont say "daddys got work" lol i say i got work]

You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited"

The remote to the tv is missing... and you don't even care.

**********

Thats 27.......im PATHETIC

[Plata]

Originally posted by tootieismyfav
[B]You communicate with people on other continents more than you do with your own neighbors.

Email Deficiency Depression (EDD) forces you to email yourself.

These two definetely apply to me. How sad!

[Montana Ponine]

LOL, Jeff, cute list!!!! Here's me....

You think surfing is something you do on dry land.

You communicate with people on other continents more than you do with your own neighbors.

You promise yourself "you'll only stay online for 15 more minutes" at least once every hour.

You start using smileys in your snail mail.

You think faxes are old fashioned.

You get up before the sun rises to check your email, and you find yourself in that same chair long after
the sun has set.

You cancel your newspaper subscription.

You forget to eat because you were too busy surfing the net.

You religiously respond immediately to email, while ignoring your growing pile of snail mail.

You go outside and look for a brightness knob to turn down the sun.

Your bookmark page takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

You find yourself brainstorming for new topics to search.

You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phonelines.

[Polniaczek033]

alot i will put it that way

[InspectorExstead]

ones that apply to me.....


You find yourself staring at your "inbox" waiting for new email to arrive.

You think faxes are old fashioned.

Everyone you know asks why your phone like is always busy, and you're seriously considering getting
a second phone line.

You forget to eat because you were too busy surfing the net.

You're constantly yelling at your wife for using the phone for stupid things... like talking. (my mom though...)

You find yourself brainstorming for new topics to search.

You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phonelines. (by the way..how much does it cost to rent a laptop? do they even do that?)

You check your mail. It says no new messages. So you check it again.

You really believe in the concept of a "paperless" office.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged on in two hours. You start to twitch.