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Old 11-29-2018, 09:57 AM   #1
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[Vito is handing out invitations]

Stinky: What does RSVP mean?

Ben: Don't be an idiot, Stinky, it means Refreshments Served at Vito's Party!
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Old 07-07-2019, 05:52 PM   #2
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Jason: [Mike wants to go to California to see Melina] But Mike, airfare to California is very expensive.

Mike: I know dad, but Carol is lending me the money.

Jason: Oh, get outta town!

Mike: OK, thanks dad, bye!
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Old 07-12-2019, 11:52 AM   #3
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Carol as she knocks on her parents door: "I'm not interrupting anything am I?"
Maggie looks over at Jason mockingly: "Not tonight."
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:24 PM   #4
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Maggie Malone Seaver: Four pages that are typed.

Dr. Jason Seaver: Researched.

Maggie Malone Seaver: Footnoted.

Dr. Jason Seaver: With bibliography.

Maggie Malone Seaver: That you should have been working on for four weeks.

Dr. Jason Seaver: And it is due tomorrow. And...

Maggie Malone Seaver: According to your teacher...

Dr. Jason Seaver: If you don't get at least a 'B' on this paper...

Maggie Malone Seaver: You won't pass the course. That means you...

Carol Seaver: Won't graduate!

Ben Seaver: Yeah!
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Old 07-17-2019, 10:37 PM   #5
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Jason enters the kitchen where Maggie and
Carol are talking about Maggie's days in the dorms where she spent a lot of time with her stud boyfriend Danny Cross.
Jason: "Hello, ladies. What are you talking about?"
Carol: "Just talking about mom's days in the dorm."
Jason (mockingly): "You mean the Danny Cross thing?"
Maggie: "Who told you about me and Danny Cross?"
Jason: "Danny Cross! Why do you think I asked you out?!"
Maggie proceeds to hit him with a towel.
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Old 07-18-2019, 08:33 AM   #6
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Jason: My father built this cabin by hand.

Mike: Wow! No tools or anything? Cool!
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Old 07-18-2019, 10:06 PM   #7
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They just found out that Chrissy has head lice and Ben has gone overboard by wearing a shower cap, gloves and apron. Jason walks in and sees Ben dressed like that.
Jason: "Ben, take off that outfit! You look like a bathtub stopper!"
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Old 12-14-2020, 05:49 PM   #8
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“Maggie Malone Seaver: [on Chrissy's first day of kindergarten] You are gonna have so much fun today. Just remember to be polite, and share, and do what your teacher says.

Ben Seaver: Great advice, Mom. Why don't you just tattoo 'Dweeb' on her forehead.

Chrissy Seaver: Wait a minute. Nobody said anything about tattoos!

Maggie Malone Seaver: Honey, your brother is just using a figure of speech, as in: Put a sock in it!

Ben Seaver: Mom, on the first day of school, if you're not careful, you'll get a label that's gonna dog you for the rest-a your life.

Chrissy Seaver: [getting nervous] Like what?

Ben Seaver: Sit in front—Dorfburger. Answer any questions—Boogerhead. Hang out with anyone wearing glasses—Geekus Maximus. And most important: Eat the green jello—'Hasta la vista, baby!'

Chrissy Seaver: What is wrong with green Jell-O?

Ben Seaver: Leo 'Lime-Tongue' Plotnick.

Maggie Malone Seaver: And who's he?

Ben Seaver: Just the secretary-slash-treasurer of the Chess Club.”
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