A Honeymooners Halloween: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 10-28-2018, 07:45 AM

(Ralph & Ed bring into the Kramden apartment an old sewing machine.)

Ed: "Ralph-ie boy, inside that head of yours in a thinking machine."

Ralph: "I am not paying $100 every year to get a costume for Halloween when I can make one myself."

Ed: "Alice would love to see you make clothes."

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: "Hello boys! Ralph, I see you got a sewing machine."

Ralph: "Yeah, it's not a new one. It's a second hand one. I am going to make myself a costume for the annual Raccoon Halloween Party and I am going to win the top prize. $200."

Alice: "What are you going to make, an elephant costume?"

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!"

Ed: "You told me that he was going to make a costume of a person that you see in the circus."

Alice: "A clown? You mean yourself?"

Ralph (yells): "OOOOOOOOOOOOH, YOU ARE A RIOT ALICE! A REGULAR RIOT!"

Ed: "He's going dressed as a magician."

Ralph: "With top hat and everything. Now, I bought all the threads and needles. I need not to be disturbed. Ed is going to help me out. Ed, hand me the needle."

(Ed does. Ralph accidentally gets stabbed.)

Ralph (walking around the room in pain, yells): "OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU STUPID STUPE. YOU STABBED ME WITH THE NEEDLE."

Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. Don't worry. Put a band-aid on it. With the way your built, it will take a loooong time for your blood to get out."

(Ralph rolls his eyes. He gets the threads and plugs the sewing machine in. He puts the needle under the bobbin and being stupid, he puts his hand underneath the bobbin and turns the machine on."

Ralph (walking around the room in pain, yells): "OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YEEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Alice: "Oh yeah. You two will be great at making clothes."

(On Halloween night, they arrive at the Raccoon Lodge. Alice is an angel. Ed is a lifeguard and Trixie is a sailor.)

Alice: "Ralph, come on. You said that you want to have fun tonight."

Ed: "Yeah, you said that you want a crack at the $200 prize. Don't worry."

(Ralph enters in in his poor excuse for a magician costume. One sleeve is longer than the other. One pant leg is longer than the other. The top hat doesn't even fit him. Neither does the shirt and jacket. People look at Ralph and laugh.)

Freddie: "Ralph, where did you get that costume? The person who made it should be run out of town."

Ed: "Ralph made it."

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

Freddie: "You should be a clown."

Ed: "Isn't that what he always is?"

(Ralph elbows Ed. A penny falls out of his pocket. Ralph bends over to pick it up and tears his pants supposedly revealing his buttocks. Everyone laughs. While trying to cover himself, he tries to fight Ed. Ralph gets thrown out.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Just in case you are wondering, I did not reveal my buttocks. Those were nude colored pants I wore underneath."

(Everyone laughs.)

Jackie: "Happy Halloween. Good night everyone."

(Crowd cheers.)

10-28-2018, 07:45 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,090	A Honeymooners Halloween: (Ralph & Ed bring into the Kramden apartment an old sewing machine.) Ed: "Ralph-ie boy, inside that head of yours in a thinking machine." Ralph: "I am not paying $100 every year to get a costume for Halloween when I can make one myself." Ed: "Alice would love to see you make clothes." (Alice comes out.) Alice: "Hello boys! Ralph, I see you got a sewing machine." Ralph: "Yeah, it's not a new one. It's a second hand one. I am going to make myself a costume for the annual Raccoon Halloween Party and I am going to win the top prize. $200." Alice: "What are you going to make, an elephant costume?" (Ed laughs.) Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!" Ed: "You told me that he was going to make a costume of a person that you see in the circus." Alice: "A clown? You mean yourself?" Ralph (yells): "OOOOOOOOOOOOH, YOU ARE A RIOT ALICE! A REGULAR RIOT!" Ed: "He's going dressed as a magician." Ralph: "With top hat and everything. Now, I bought all the threads and needles. I need not to be disturbed. Ed is going to help me out. Ed, hand me the needle." (Ed does. Ralph accidentally gets stabbed.) Ralph (walking around the room in pain, yells): "OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU STUPID STUPE. YOU STABBED ME WITH THE NEEDLE." Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. Don't worry. Put a band-aid on it. With the way your built, it will take a loooong time for your blood to get out." (Ralph rolls his eyes. He gets the threads and plugs the sewing machine in. He puts the needle under the bobbin and being stupid, he puts his hand underneath the bobbin and turns the machine on." Ralph (walking around the room in pain, yells): "OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! YEEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Alice: "Oh yeah. You two will be great at making clothes." (On Halloween night, they arrive at the Raccoon Lodge. Alice is an angel. Ed is a lifeguard and Trixie is a sailor.) Alice: "Ralph, come on. You said that you want to have fun tonight." Ed: "Yeah, you said that you want a crack at the $200 prize. Don't worry." (Ralph enters in in his poor excuse for a magician costume. One sleeve is longer than the other. One pant leg is longer than the other. The top hat doesn't even fit him. Neither does the shirt and jacket. People look at Ralph and laugh.) Freddie: "Ralph, where did you get that costume? The person who made it should be run out of town." Ed: "Ralph made it." (Ralph elbows Ed.) Freddie: "You should be a clown." Ed: "Isn't that what he always is?" (Ralph elbows Ed. A penny falls out of his pocket. Ralph bends over to pick it up and tears his pants supposedly revealing his buttocks. Everyone laughs. While trying to cover himself, he tries to fight Ed. Ralph gets thrown out.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: "Thank you. Just in case you are wondering, I did not reveal my buttocks. Those were nude colored pants I wore underneath." (Everyone laughs.) Jackie: "Happy Halloween. Good night everyone." (Crowd cheers.)