Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Rafifi, Brooklyn Style" & "Ralph Kramden Presents":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Rafifi, Brooklyn Style" & "Ralph Kramden Presents":

Episode #186 (Syndicated episode #15)
DVD: Attached to "Without Reservations."
Color Episode Title: “Rififi, Brooklyn Style.”
Lost Episode Title: “Great Jewel Robbery.”
Air Date: 3/4/67

"Rafifi, Brooklyn Style":

On my copy of this episode that I have on DVD, the TV channel now known as Youtoo America airs the wrong Nick Clooney intro. Prior to March 2005, Youtoo always aired intros by Nick at the start of every episode of this show for some reason. Maybe because prior to 2003, this show except for the first ten episodes, did not see the light of day. He says that the viewers are going to see "Life Upon The Wicked Stage" rather than "Rififi, Brooklyn Style." I wonder if this was due to "Life Upon The Wicked Stage"'s musical clearance issues which caused that episode not to be shown on Youtoo TV for some time when Youtoo TV started showing the Color Honeymooners. I'm not sure if they made this error every time they aired this episode.

The June Taylor Dancers come by a jewelry store and sing a song about jewelry. After that, they leave. Ralph comes by. Ralph is collecting money from all the bus drivers for a wedding present for the boss' daughter. He hopes the gift will mean a raise for the drivers--and maybe a promotion for him. He meets with Ed at the jewelry store. Ed didn't even recognize that this was a jewelry store from the outside. Ralph is having each driver pitch in $5. Ralph: "When he realizes who idea it was to make the collection to get a gift, who do you think is going to get the promotion?" Ed: "The guy who she is marrying, who else?" Ralph wants to have this collection so he can get promoted. All the drivers said Ralph is doing this only to get in good with the boss. Since there are 50 bus drivers and each chipped in $5, Ed assumes that the collection is up to $250. Ralph: "$245. One of the bus drivers didn't chip in." Ed: "Who was it?" Ralph: "Never mind." Wow, Ralph didn't chip in to his own collection? Gee, that's a surprise. A clerk comes by and Ralph asks him if this is a good jewelry store. Clerk: "The Montonyea (sp?) is great. We have branches in London, Paris, Rome, Vienna, Stockholm & Coconut Grove." Ed: "So does Dairy Queen." Ralph tells him of his situation. The clerk shows Ralph & Ed some of the jewelry. The first piece of jewelry is a Sterling Silver Pickle Fork. Ralph hates that. Ralph says he has $245 to spend. Ed suggests a cigarette lighter that plays "Me and My Shadow." The clerk says it would be appropriate to pick out something for the bride and the groom. Ralph: "Why should I pick out something for the groom? I hardly know the BUM." Ralph likes the 14 carat gold watch the clerk shows him. It costs $246 plus tax. Ralph buys it with $1 from his own money. Ralph gets it delivered to his apartment. Ralph & Ed sing: "You Got To Have An Angle."

It's also Alice's birthday. Trixie gives Alice a Sterling Silver Candle Snapper. Alice's mother (played by the original Alice, Pert Kelton) comes by with an expensive dress. Alice's Mom: "When you are married to Ralph, you need EVERYTHING." Trixie leaves. Alice and her mother complain about the living conditions as well as Ralph. They sing: "Why Didn't You Marry Someone With Dough?" in which Alice's mother says she is impartial when it comes to Ralph. Alice says that Ralph hasn't given her anything yet. Alice goes into the bedroom. Ralph comes home. Alice's mom: "Hello Ralph." Ralph: "How could you tell it was me?" Alice's mom: "I can hear the floor sag." A battle royal of an argument between the two of them starts which includes trading insults like Ralph saying to Alice's mom: "You were never Alice's age." Ha! The mother shows her disdain for the stove. Ralph then wants to fight Alice's mother. Alice's Mom: "Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!" Ralph: "Crow! Crow! Crow!" A delivery boy from the jewelry store arrives with a package that contains a watch Ralph bought for the boss's daughter. Alice thinks it's her birthday gift and is ecstatic. She praises Ralph up and down to her mother and saying that he's the best husband in the world. Sure. Ralph is ashamed to admit the truth that he forgot Alice's birthday. Alice's Mom: "I'm glad you thought of your wife and not of a scheme to get in good with your boss." Alice tells Ralph of her guilt of her thinking that he forgot her birthday.

At the bar with Ed, Ed tells Jacko the bartender to put more bisch (sp?), chocolate syrup, vanilla ice cream and a cherry in his drink. Ralph tells him about his problem. The bus drivers will kill him if Ralph didn't give the watch to the boss' daughter. Ralph says they will tie one of his legs and arms to a bus each and the other leg and arm to another bus each and each one will drive in a different direction and thus Ralph will get killed. Ed suggests lying to Alice and her mother. Ralph says that he mother is the originally lie detector. Ralph: "Alice's Mother is just as trusting as Kurt Douglas on an army dentist." They come up with a scheme on how to get the watch back without letting Alice know it isn't hers. Norton will get one of his pals to pose as a burglar, hold up the Kramdens, and take the watch. Ralph will eventually meet up with him to get the watch back. His friend is Joe Torre. I wonder if they got his name from the now Executive Vice President of MLB Operations. Joe happens to be an amateur manager. He ends up calling his friend on a pay phone and it's a party line so his friend doesn't want to reveal where he works so Ed says that both he and his friend, who is an amateur actor, work in a bank and that Ed saved his friend from drowning in the small loans department. Ha! The plan is set. While Ralph and Norton were devising their plan, a real crook overhears them and decides to show up at the Kramdens' before Norton's friend gets there.

At home, some cops arrive to sell tickets to the Policeman's Ball and Ralph thinks that his plan is going to be foiled. So Ralph concocts a scheme to get the cops out of there much to Alice's chagrin. Fortunately for Ralph, they end up leaving. When the real crook shows up saying: "Stick 'em up!" Ralph thinks he is Norton's friend and is acting badly and asks him to come in again when Alice is in the room. When he shows up, Ralph thinks he's Norton's friend and practically hands him the watch. Alice asks Ralph to do something. He "attempts" to punch him and the crook punches Ralph in the stomach. Ralph hallows in pain in typical Ralph fashion. While the crook's examining the goods, Alice plunks him with a frying pan and knocks him cold. She rushes out to call the cops, but Ralph revives him and sends him on his way, with some extra loot to boot. Ralph thinks that the title of "amateur actor" really belongs to Ed's friend and that is the last time that he ever listens to Norton. When Ed shows up wit crook get up and tells him that his friend couldn't make it, Ralph realizes what he has done.

Later, Ralph says that he will not go down to work tomorrow or anymore (he won't dare say the real reason why). So he covers it up, by saying that Saudi Arabia is looking for welders and he wants to apply for the job. Ralph tells Alice the real story about him forgetting her birthday and the watch. He apologizes. Ralph sings: "I Don't Deserve A Wonderful Girl Like You." The cops catch the crook and recover the watch. The cop shows Ralph the crook and the woman who captured him...Alice's Mom. Alice is heartbroken, but she returns the watch. Alice's Mom gets told the story and says that Ralph should be given the watch. Alice's Mom wants to kill Ralph herself. Ralph runs away from Alice's Mother

During the curtain call, Jackie says that this is a special night. He mentions that Pert Kelton was the original Alice. He introduces some of the cast members (Art, Pert, Shelia & Jean.) On a side note, I'm glad that Audrey was picked rather than Pert as the Alice during the lost episodes and Classic 39. I saw some Pert Kelton clips during the Honeymooners 50th Anniversary Celebration and Pert looked ugly compared to Audrey.

Episode #187 (Syndicated episode #16)
TV: One hour long musical.
DVD: Attached to "Flushing Ho" & "Sees All, Knows All".
Color Honeymooners Episode Title: "Ralph Kramden Presents."
Lost Episode Title: "Catch A Star."
Air Date: 3/18/67

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

The June Taylor Dancers come in and sing a song about a dance. After that they leave and then the Kramdens & Nortons are at a dance hall. The girls are helping getting the place ready for the Raccoon Dance on Saturday night. Ralph has Ed make a note of what should be done to the dance hall for the dance. The boys will take care of the punch. Ed (writing): "One lemon and a case of hooch for the punch." Ralph mentions that Garrity is on the wagon. Ed: "That is what the lemons are for." Ed instructs Trixie to get his tie back from the dry cleaner's. He says that the stain may be from silly putty. Ralph has Ed run down the list. The boys think of a theme for the dance. Ed suggests "A Salute To Norway." Ed says that the reason for that is because he found out that the Vikings discovered America. Ralph: "You want to celebrate the Vikings discovering America in the Sons of Italy Hall (the place where the dance is going to be held.) Ralph says that he will think of a theme. Ed says that Ralph hasn't found out who's going to blow up the balloons. Ed: "Jimmy Milligan is a good choice." Ralph thinks that he will be Raccoon of the Year. Ralph & Ed sing: "The Grand Exalted Brotherhood of Raccoons' Annual Dance." with a lot of dancers dancing and singing in the background as well.

At the Raccoon Lodge, we finally see what the colors of the inside of the Lodge look like as well as the uniforms. Ralph & Ed greet each other with the friendly Raccoon greeting. Ralph says he wants to talk about him getting the dance hall ready. Ed suggests him saying that he is his special assistant. Ralph: "That is the trouble with you Norton. You are always looking to blow your own horn." Before the meeting starts, Ed is suggested to play the Raccoon Anthem and Ralph to sing. Ed warms up by not playing "Suwannee River" but another song. Ralph gets agitated. Finally Ed plays the anthem which is this:

"From the hallowed streets of Greenpernt,
To the shores of Sheepshead Bay,
From the Verrazano Narrows,
To Canarsie across the way...
We have come together, one and all,
In fellowship to commune,
And to glorify the Grand Exalted
Brotherhood of Raccoons." [Howl]

For a long time, I never knew which episode this song came from. I think that this is where ZXMan (the creator of the real honeymooners.net) got it from. Ed reads the minutes of the last meeting. Ed: "8:00pm, the Raccoon meeting was called to order and the president said he had very important matters to discuss. 8:01pm, member Harry George said there was going to give free beer at the end of the meeting. 8:02pm, meeting adjourned." Ralph gets up. Ed: "Let's hear it for Ralph, chairman of the Dance Committee." Ed claps but no one claps with him. Anyway, the Raccoon annual dance gets announced. Ralph says that this will be the best dance they ever had. Ed: "Let's hear it for Ralph." Ed claps but no one claps with him. Ralph then says he got Freitag from Freitag's Delicatessen to bring in a lot of knockwurst. Ed: "Let's hear it for Ralph." Ed claps but no one claps with him. The purpose of this dance is to raise money but no one sold any tickets. Each member was to get 100 tickets each to sell. One of the members, who has a bad voice, said that one person, said that their dances are too dull. Another person suggested that they get a big TV star to get tickets. Ed has an idea to solve that problem. His idea: Hold a dance. Ralph and everybody else think that that idea is stupid. Ed suggests getting Bob Hope since he entertains men in uniform. The Raccoon with the bad voice (whose name is Rocky by the way) speaks out and Ralph says to him to speak clear. Ed then says that Ralph Kramden knows a big TV star named Jackie Gleason. Rocky & someone else say that Ralph brags about him. The Raccoon president says that with Jackie as the guest, they would have the most successful dance ever. Ralph says that he can't get Jackie because he's in the sun and fun capital of the world. Ed: "What's he doing in Perth Amboy?" Ralph says that he is in Miami Beach and not in New York. Rocky just read that Jackie is in New York. Ralph (about Gleason): "That bum!" Ralph is mad at Ed for spilling the beans.

At home, Ralph is alone in the kitchen and calls Ed a nut. Alice: "Why don't you tell the Raccoons the truth that you don't even know Jackie Gleason?" Ralph disagrees with that suggestion. Ralph: "Do you remember the last time that the Raccoons were this excited?" Alice: "Yeah, the time that you told them that you knew Rudy Valee." Ha! Ralph comes to his senses and goes down to the lodge to tell the truth. Ed comes in with the news that since word leaked out that Jackie Gleason was coming to the dance, 1,000 tickets were sold. Ralph says he can't go down to the lodge now. Ed: "If you told me anything, I will still be your friend Ralph." Ralph tells Ed the truth. He doesn't know Jackie Gleason. Ed: "You dirty rat." Ralph says that he did see him once and saved his life. How did he save his life? Jackie was going to walk across the street near a traffic light. Ralph saw him and stopped for the traffic light's red light. Ralph: "If I gone through the light, I might have hit him. I saved his life." Ed: "You didn't save his life, you saved your bus." Ed suggests paying Gleason. Ralph: "You know what a guy like him gets a night, $100. I know he isn't worth that much money but that is what he gets." Gee, $100. That pales in comparison to the salaries that today's TV stars get. Ralph says that the Raccoons are going to hang him if Gleason doesn't come. Ed says that maybe Gleason will do it for charity. Alice: "What charity is this?" Ed: "Well, see we need a new pool table and when we get the money, we will give the pool table to the settlement house if they have enough money for it." Ralph thinks of going to the hotel where Gleason rehearses and asking him. Alice thinks that Ralph is crazy, but Ralph says they need to take this chance. Alice says something that infuriates Ralph. Ralph: "Just for that remark, even if I bring Gleason to the dance, you are not coming." Ed: "You won't be invited to the hanging either." Ralph kicks Ed out.

At the hotel, the hotel owner (played by George Petrie) greets Jackie (as himself) as he arrives. Jackie goes into a phone booth. During their lunch hour, Ralph & Ed arrive. Ralph & Ed can't see Gleason as Gleason rehearses so they wait at the hotel lobby for him to come down. Shelia MacRae (as herself) comes through the lobby. She is wearing a long fur coat. She greets the hotel owner as George. Ed asks Ralph how he would he like to be married to her. Ralph says that Alice would look just as good with those clothes. Ralph is going to call the bus depot to tell him that he will be late. He goes into the phone booth to call. Immediately, Jackie Gleason pops out of the other phone booth that is connected to the other one. Ed doesn't see him. Ralph comes out. Girls scream at someone outside and that person comes in the hotel. It's Sammy Spear and Ed recognizes him. Sammy: "Those girls never leave a guy alone." Ed: "That is what you get for being a sex symbol." Ed decides that he wants to go upstairs and wash up. He says to the elevator operator: "Follow that cable." Soon, Art Carney (as himself) comes in and is memorized. Ralph (yells): "YOU'RE ART CARNEY! YOU'RE ART CARNEY!" It doesn't occur to Ralph that Art looks EXACTLY like Ed Norton. Ralph asks Art for his autograph. Art obliges and goes upstairs. Ralph realizes that he missed the opportunity to ask Art to appear at the dance and bangs at the elevator door. Ed Norton comes down and Ralph tells him that he met Art Carney. Ed: "You know some people say that Jackie Gleason is a riot but if you ask me, that Art Carney is the whole show." Ralph argues with Ed over whose funny, Jackie or Art. Ralph asks the manager of the hotel: "Pardon me sir, but on the Jackie Gleason Show, who's funnier, Jackie Gleason or Art Carney?" Hotel Manager: "I can't say. I watch Flipper." A delivery man comes in and has a delivery for Jackie but Ralph takes the delivery upstairs and pays the kid a dollar. Boy: "Jackie never gave me this much." Ralph goes upstairs to see him. But, Jackie (as himself) comes down and Ed Norton is so memorized by his appearance. Ed: "It is a pleasure for me to look at you in the flesh and there's so much of it." It doesn't occur to Ed that Jackie looks EXACTLY like Ralph Kramden and sounds like him too. Jackie (to the hotel manager): "Whatever he (Ed) is drinking, give me a case of it." Jackie leaves. Ralph comes down and Ed said that he saw Gleason but never asked him to come to the dance and that he left. Ralph is upset. Jean Kean comes in and it doesn't occur to Ralph & Ed that she looks exactly like Trixie. Ed: "Have I seen you before?" Jean: "I don't believe so." Ed: "Have you ever worked in the sewer?" Jean: "Hardly." Ralph says that is Jean Kean. Ed asks Jean to come to the Raccoon dance. Jean takes it the wrong way and slaps Ed. Ed: "She reminds me of Trixie." Ralph & Ed leave.

At the Raccoon dance, the girls and Ed arrives. Ralph is hiding. He finally comes in. Ralph is scared. He can't see the boys because he is scared and wants to face them at the bus depot where he has workman's comp. Alice isn't worried. Ralph says that she isn't worried because she wants his insurance which is $200. Jackie Gleason is heard. Ralph can't believe it. Jackie: "How sweet it is." Jackie asks for music. The music plays. Alice explains the whole situation in which she is responsible for Gleason coming which involved making a pizza for him. Ed: "How do you think he got that title, `The Fat One.'?" Ralph: "That is `The Great One.'" They sing: "The Grand Exalted Brotherhood of Raccoons' Annual Dance."

At the curtain call, Jackie just says "Goodnight." The network now known today as Youtoo America edited out footage where Jackie speaks to the crowd as well as Sammy Spear. He jokingly says that Sammy's performance was bad and that is the last time he will be on the show. Sammy later appeared in "Case of The Cuckoo Thief."

My thoughts: This is one of the episodes where the viewer has to suspend disbelief the most. I mean how could the characters take one look at the stars and NOT notice that they sound and look like their friends so to speak?

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Group You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.