"I Love Natalie" Season 1 episodes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Sitcomwriter · 05-27-2002, 02:51 PM

“I Love Natalie”
Cast:
Natalie Portman as Natalie Tomper-Griftel
Lukas Haas as Lukas Griftel
Elliot Gould as Eli Tomper Sr.
Holland Taylor as Michelle Wilff-Tomper
David Scwimmer as Eli "Ellie" Tomper Jr.
Cathrine Zeta-Jones as Sutine Trufftafarst-Tomper
LeeLee Sobieski as Lisa Tomper-Shiget
Simon Rex as Vladimer Shiget
Jessica Alba as Jessica Pinchot
Kirsten Dunst as Kirsten Axterbarne
#1:”The Newlyweds”

(Lukas is sleeping on the couch in the apartment while Natalie,in a suit is rushing around trying to find her pocketbook)

Natalie:Where is my pocketbook?

Lukas:Let me sleep

Natalie:Honey we have to go to the Gynecoligist remember?

Lukas:Why? we never do it

Natalie:I know because I’ve always said…

Both:Not until we’re 29!

Natalie:Anyway My dad is just letting us witness a birth

Lukas:Whoose?

Natalie:Mrs.Worperganza

Lukas:Oh that FAT LADY! I have to witness a fat lady give birth? No way!

Natalie:Yes way and go into your room and get dressed now before we’re late

Lukas:No

Natalie:No?

Lukas:No

Natalie:Fine! You can stay here
Lukas:That’s it?

Natalie:Yeah.If you don’t want to go you can just stay here.That’s fine with me

Lukas:Wow honey you’re the greatest…Wait there’s GOT to be a catch

Natalie:Nope.No catch except for 39 now (leaves)

Lukas:39? 39? NO!

(Opening Credits)

(The Waiting Room.Natalie and Lukas are sitting down.Natalie is excited while Lukas feels queasy)

Natalie:We’re next to witness the miracle of birth.Aren’t you excited?

Lukas:No.But I’m queasy.I just can’t stand looking at ugly fat pregnant women

Natalie:Thank you very much!

Lukas:And when will YOU be ugly,fat and pregnant?

Natalie:In around 12 years

Lukas:Honey I can’t WAIT thst long!

Natalie:Well your going to have to

Woman:Excuse me miss Are you a doctor?

Natalie:What kind of doctor?

Woman:A Physcyatrist or something like that

Natalie:Well I guess.I’m a trained phycoligist

Woman:And that is?

Natalie:Well it’s the same thing but we’re not allowed to put Doctor in front of our name

Woman:Oh.Can I ask you something?

Natalie:Shoot

Woman:Wow.Are you a pyscic too?
Lukas:No but she might be pregnant in 12 years!

Natalie:Shut up!

Woman:Congradulations!

Natalie:Thanks anyway on to your problem

Woman:Oh you solved it.I’ll just KILL my husband.Thanks (leaves)

Natalie:NO!

(Lukas Laughs)

Lukas:Oh

Natalie:Lukas! It’s NOT funny! I just told a woman to kill her husband!

Eli:Natalie,Lukas I’m sorry I kept you waiting

Natalie:That’s ok dad

Eli:Anyway there’s been a change of plans now it’s playboy Playmate Angelique Cruscoslovaviskianscovanich that your watching

Lukas:You mean the one with the Size Quadroople D+++?

Eli:Damn Straight son.Damn straight

(The apartment.Natalie is upset and plops onto the couch while Lukas has a large smile on his face)

Lukas:I’m so glad I went.My face is all big in smiles

Natalie:That’s not ALL that’s big on you right now

Lukas:I touched her you know

Natalie:Yes yes that’s great

Lukas:Do you think their real?

Natalie:Here’s another question Do you think I care

(They both wander into the kitchen)

Lukas:Come on honey don’t you think her boobs were huge?

Natalie:Yes they were huge

Lukas:Your jealous

Natalie:I am not jealous of that Angelique Crusconsloviavisnakiansihamanic

Lukas:Cruscoslovaviskianscovanich

Natalie:Whatever!

Lukas:You are too!

Natalie:NO! I’m upset that I told a patient she should kill her husband

Lukas:She WASN’T a patient plus she could have just been joking

Natalie:I guess your right (They kiss)

Lukas:I love you

Natalie:I love you too

(Closing Credits)

(Natalie and Lukas are in the Living Room watching the news an eating popcorn)

Female Anchor (Voice):In other news a woman named Mary Santos killed her husban thanks to the advice of a Mrs.Natalie Griftel.You suck Natalie.The man she killed was Sylvester Stalone

Lukas:Natalie! YOU BITCH!

(Natalie starts to cry)

THE END

Central Perk · 05-27-2002, 05:42 PM

I guess it had some funny parts but it was pretty gross and somewhat offending.

05-27-2002, 02:51 PM	#1
Sitcomwriter Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 27, 2001 Posts: 7,356	"I Love Natalie" Season 1 episodes “I Love Natalie” Cast: Natalie Portman as Natalie Tomper-Griftel Lukas Haas as Lukas Griftel Elliot Gould as Eli Tomper Sr. Holland Taylor as Michelle Wilff-Tomper David Scwimmer as Eli "Ellie" Tomper Jr. Cathrine Zeta-Jones as Sutine Trufftafarst-Tomper LeeLee Sobieski as Lisa Tomper-Shiget Simon Rex as Vladimer Shiget Jessica Alba as Jessica Pinchot Kirsten Dunst as Kirsten Axterbarne #1:”The Newlyweds” (Lukas is sleeping on the couch in the apartment while Natalie,in a suit is rushing around trying to find her pocketbook) Natalie:Where is my pocketbook? Lukas:Let me sleep Natalie:Honey we have to go to the Gynecoligist remember? Lukas:Why? we never do it Natalie:I know because I’ve always said… Both:Not until we’re 29! Natalie:Anyway My dad is just letting us witness a birth Lukas:Whoose? Natalie:Mrs.Worperganza Lukas:Oh that FAT LADY! I have to witness a fat lady give birth? No way! Natalie:Yes way and go into your room and get dressed now before we’re late Lukas:No Natalie:No? Lukas:No Natalie:Fine! You can stay here Lukas:That’s it? Natalie:Yeah.If you don’t want to go you can just stay here.That’s fine with me Lukas:Wow honey you’re the greatest…Wait there’s GOT to be a catch Natalie:Nope.No catch except for 39 now (leaves) Lukas:39? 39? NO! (Opening Credits) (The Waiting Room.Natalie and Lukas are sitting down.Natalie is excited while Lukas feels queasy) Natalie:We’re next to witness the miracle of birth.Aren’t you excited? Lukas:No.But I’m queasy.I just can’t stand looking at ugly fat pregnant women Natalie:Thank you very much! Lukas:And when will YOU be ugly,fat and pregnant? Natalie:In around 12 years Lukas:Honey I can’t WAIT thst long! Natalie:Well your going to have to Woman:Excuse me miss Are you a doctor? Natalie:What kind of doctor? Woman:A Physcyatrist or something like that Natalie:Well I guess.I’m a trained phycoligist Woman:And that is? Natalie:Well it’s the same thing but we’re not allowed to put Doctor in front of our name Woman:Oh.Can I ask you something? Natalie:Shoot Woman:Wow.Are you a pyscic too? Lukas:No but she might be pregnant in 12 years! Natalie:Shut up! Woman:Congradulations! Natalie:Thanks anyway on to your problem Woman:Oh you solved it.I’ll just KILL my husband.Thanks (leaves) Natalie:NO! (Lukas Laughs) Lukas:Oh Natalie:Lukas! It’s NOT funny! I just told a woman to kill her husband! Eli:Natalie,Lukas I’m sorry I kept you waiting Natalie:That’s ok dad Eli:Anyway there’s been a change of plans now it’s playboy Playmate Angelique Cruscoslovaviskianscovanich that your watching Lukas:You mean the one with the Size Quadroople D+++? Eli:Damn Straight son.Damn straight (The apartment.Natalie is upset and plops onto the couch while Lukas has a large smile on his face) Lukas:I’m so glad I went.My face is all big in smiles Natalie:That’s not ALL that’s big on you right now Lukas:I touched her you know Natalie:Yes yes that’s great Lukas:Do you think their real? Natalie:Here’s another question Do you think I care (They both wander into the kitchen) Lukas:Come on honey don’t you think her boobs were huge? Natalie:Yes they were huge Lukas:Your jealous Natalie:I am not jealous of that Angelique Crusconsloviavisnakiansihamanic Lukas:Cruscoslovaviskianscovanich Natalie:Whatever! Lukas:You are too! Natalie:NO! I’m upset that I told a patient she should kill her husband Lukas:She WASN’T a patient plus she could have just been joking Natalie:I guess your right (They kiss) Lukas:I love you Natalie:I love you too (Closing Credits) (Natalie and Lukas are in the Living Room watching the news an eating popcorn) Female Anchor (Voice):In other news a woman named Mary Santos killed her husban thanks to the advice of a Mrs.Natalie Griftel.You suck Natalie.The man she killed was Sylvester Stalone Lukas:Natalie! YOU BITCH! (Natalie starts to cry) THE END

05-27-2002, 05:42 PM	#2
Central Perk ~~~~~ Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 10, 2002 Posts: 4,553	I guess it had some funny parts but it was pretty gross and somewhat offending.