A Honeymooners Easter:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are going to a costume shop.)

Ed: "Ralph, this was a great place to get the Easter Bunny costumes so we can participate in that Easter Scavenger Hunt."

Ralph: "Yes. Alice thought that I was nuts. The first prize is $500."

Ed: "She probably thought you were nuts because she doesn't think that they make Easter Bunny costumes that big. Hahahaha!"

Ralph: "Oh, you are a real riot Norton. A real riot. Let's ask this gentlemen."

(They got over to a associate.)

Ed: "Sir, what is the biggest size available for this Easter bunny costume."

Man: "Hmmm, I am sorry but we don't have one available in XXXXXXXXXL."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!"

Man: "This Easter Bunny costume would fit you perfectly for giving the kids eggs."

Ralph: "We are not going to do that. We are going to participate in that Easter Scavenger Hunt."

Man: "You two? Hahahaha."

Ralph: "What is that for?"

Man: "Oh nothing."

(They get the costumes.)

(On Easter, Ralph & Ed are in their Easter Bunny costumes in the Kramden apartment.)

Alice: "Ralph, this is nuts that you two are entering this contest."

Ralph: "You say that now but you won't when we start laying the groundwork for us to move to Park Avenue. Wait until this furniture looks like in a Park Avenue apartment."

Ed: "Ralph, you always think big. Come on. Let's start eating for this race. I got 25 carrots for me to eat and 50 for you."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "Norton, you and rabbits have a lot in common. You both work in holes and you two have the same brain matter."

(They leave for the hunt.)

(They arrive. They arrive at the starting line. There competitors: A bunch of kids.)

Ralph: "There are no adults here."

(A man comes by. So does Alice, her mother and Uncle Leo.)

Man: "We are looking for two kids named Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton."

Ed: "We are them."

Man: "You two are ineligible. You must be kids to enter this hunt."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT?"

Leo: "Fortunately we are not too late for the race."

Alice's Mom: "And we are not too late to see my big, fat dumb son-in-law make a fool of himself along with his friend."

Alice: "I thought you knew the rules of the hunt Ralph."

Alice's Mom: "Looks like no Easter prize for you. No Easter chocolates for you. One chocolate will only make you fatter than an elephant."

Ralph (yells): "YOU ARE A BLABBERMOUTH! A BLABBERMOUTH!"

(A shouting match develops. People try to make peace.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Let's bring out the cast. First Audrey Meadows."

(Crowd cheers as Audrey comes on stage and shakes Jack's hand.)

Jackie: "And Art Carney."

(Crowd cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack's hand.)

Jackie: "Happy Easter and the Miami crowds are the best. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)