The Beverly Hillbillies Quotes & Funny Lines - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

AB · 03-04-2018, 05:28 PM

Post your favorite quotes & lines from The Beverly Hillbillies.

Jed Clampett talking about Jethro: "If brains was lard, that boy wouldn't have enough to grease a skillet."

AB · 03-04-2018, 05:31 PM

Jane Hathaway: "Now, Chief, in all fairness to the employees, you do not display much holiday spirit."

Mr. Drysdale: "What do they want from me? I gave them half a day off on Christmas!"

AB · 03-04-2018, 05:37 PM

Shorty Kellems : "You was the wildest girl-chasin'est rascal in the whole county."

Jed Clampett : "I was not!"

Shorty Kellems : "Somebody in our crowd was."

Jed Clampett : "How about you?"

Shorty Kellems : "That's who it was!"

stevea · 03-04-2018, 05:41 PM

I like this, stolen from user Treky, from a third season episode, where the Clampetts are in a fancy BH jewelry store:

Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her."
clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."

AB · 03-04-2018, 05:49 PM

^ Yeah Granny has some great lines.

AB · 03-06-2018, 04:47 PM

Granny: "Elly May done popped the buttons off her shirt again."

Jed Clampett: "Elly May carries herself proud with her shoulders throwed back."

Granny: "It ain't her shoulders that have been poppin' these buttons."

AB · 03-07-2018, 04:29 PM

Cousin Pearl: "Jethro, tell your Uncle Jed why there ain't no snow in California."

Jethro: "Don't look at me, I didn't take it!"

Ohio8 · 03-07-2018, 09:25 PM

Granny: "Politicians are a rich man's tool."

AB · 03-08-2018, 05:13 PM

(Mr. Drysdale to Miss Jane)

Milburn Drysdale: "When I give my word, I expect you to keep it."

treky · 03-10-2018, 01:43 AM

Pearl: "Jed, you're a millionaire! A MILLION-AIRE!"
Jed: "Yea, thets what thet Mr. Brewster kep' sayin'. Ah didn't quite know how ta take it."

treky · 03-10-2018, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevea

I like this, stolen from user Treky, from a third season episode, where the Clampetts are in a fancy BH jewelry store:

Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her."
clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."

you beat me to it; I was gonna post that!

AB · 03-13-2018, 04:06 PM

Miss Jane: "When the other little kids played hide and seek, Little Milby started his first business."

Mr. Drysdale: "Every kid had a lemonade stand."

Miss Jane: "He opened a pawn shop!"

Ohio8 · 06-22-2018, 06:54 PM

Jed: "Elly May, you just about the prettiest thing the Lord ever put together."

MA · 06-22-2018, 07:12 PM

Jane Hathaway: When the other little kids played hide and seek, Little Milby started his first business.

Milburn Drysdale: Every kid had a lemonade stand.

Jane Hathaway: He opened a pawn shop

AB · 07-03-2018, 02:40 PM

Colonel Blake: "You say he's had 12 years of schooling?"
Jed: "Clean through the 6th grade."
Colonel Blake: "I see, 12 years, 6th grade, but he was the highest in his class?"
Jed: "By a good 2 feet."

03-04-2018, 05:28 PM	#1
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	The Beverly Hillbillies Quotes & Funny Lines Post your favorite quotes & lines from The Beverly Hillbillies. Jed Clampett talking about Jethro: "If brains was lard, that boy wouldn't have enough to grease a skillet."

03-04-2018, 05:37 PM	#3
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	Shorty Kellems : "You was the wildest girl-chasin'est rascal in the whole county." Jed Clampett : "I was not!" Shorty Kellems : "Somebody in our crowd was." Jed Clampett : "How about you?" Shorty Kellems : "That's who it was!" Attached Images

03-07-2018, 09:25 PM	#8
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,967	Granny: "Politicians are a rich man's tool."
	__________________ "Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd

03-10-2018, 01:43 AM	#10
treky star trek fan Eternal Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania Posts: 14,490	Pearl: "Jed, you're a millionaire! A MILLION-AIRE!" Jed: "Yea, thets what thet Mr. Brewster kep' sayin'. Ah didn't quite know how ta take it."
	__________________ the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies. Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?" clerk: "Madam, those are rubies." Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her." clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady." Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."

06-22-2018, 07:12 PM	#14
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 128,565	Jane Hathaway: When the other little kids played hide and seek, Little Milby started his first business. Milburn Drysdale: Every kid had a lemonade stand. Jane Hathaway: He opened a pawn shop
	__________________ ~-Mikaela-~

03-04-2018, 05:31 PM	#2
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	Jane Hathaway: "Now, Chief, in all fairness to the employees, you do not display much holiday spirit." Mr. Drysdale: "What do they want from me? I gave them half a day off on Christmas!"

03-04-2018, 05:41 PM	#4
stevea 22 Years On Sitcoms Moderator Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 13, 2003 Location: Indy Posts: 45,044	I like this, stolen from user Treky, from a third season episode, where the Clampetts are in a fancy BH jewelry store: Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?" clerk: "Madam, those are rubies." Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her." clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady." Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her."

03-04-2018, 05:49 PM	#5
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	^ Yeah Granny has some great lines.

03-06-2018, 04:47 PM	#6
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	Granny: "Elly May done popped the buttons off her shirt again." Jed Clampett: "Elly May carries herself proud with her shoulders throwed back." Granny: "It ain't her shoulders that have been poppin' these buttons."

03-07-2018, 04:29 PM	#7
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	Cousin Pearl: "Jethro, tell your Uncle Jed why there ain't no snow in California." Jethro: "Don't look at me, I didn't take it!"

03-08-2018, 05:13 PM	#9
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	(Mr. Drysdale to Miss Jane) Milburn Drysdale: "When I give my word, I expect you to keep it."

03-13-2018, 04:06 PM	#12
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	Miss Jane: "When the other little kids played hide and seek, Little Milby started his first business." Mr. Drysdale: "Every kid had a lemonade stand." Miss Jane: "He opened a pawn shop!"

06-22-2018, 06:54 PM	#13
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,967	Jed: "Elly May, you just about the prettiest thing the Lord ever put together."

07-03-2018, 02:40 PM	#15
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	Colonel Blake: "You say he's had 12 years of schooling?" Jed: "Clean through the 6th grade." Colonel Blake: "I see, 12 years, 6th grade, but he was the highest in his class?" Jed: "By a good 2 feet."