Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Opportunity Knocks, But" & "Unconventional Behavior":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Opportunity Knocks, But" & "Unconventional Behavior":

Episode #140 (Syndicated episode #32)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "The Bensonhurst Bomber."
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “A Dog’s Life”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “Young Man With A Horn”, “Mama Loves Mambo”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), “The Worry Wart”, “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Head of The House”), “The Loudspeaker”, “Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large”, “On Stage” & “Unconventional Behavior.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #25 - #33 of the classic 39 on disc 4. On the HD Blu Ray set it is attached to episodes #25-#33 of the Classic 39 (including two versions of "Pardon My Glove" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "Young Man With A Horn" [one of which has the original sponsor ads] & two versions of "Trapped" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "On Stage" [one of which has the original sponsor ads] on disc 4.

"Opportunity Knocks, But":

When TV Land aired the show, on their online section of this show, they called this episode: "Opportunity Knocks." They left out the "..., But" part. They gave the viewer the impression that it was a goof by the network or less accurately, the episode was retitled.

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e32

Ralph is ready to come home from a day of work. He talks to Freddie Muller. I think they talk about the position of bus driver supervisor being open. They talk over how the employees don't like to talk to the boss because they are afraid of him (probably because if he asks them to do something and they say no, he will get mad.) Ralph says that the boss is a regular human being and that he shouldn't be feared. Freddie leaves. The boss, Mr. Marshall, comes out and Ralph is afraid of him. Ralph talks to the boss about how great the new buses are, but Mr. Marshall says that they are bad. Ralph agrees. Ralph talks about how beautiful a day it is. Mr. Marshall says he hates a damp day like this. Ralph agrees. Mr. Marshall & Ralph talk about playing pool. Ralph says that he plays a lot of pool. Mr. Marshall says that he never played pool (especially when he was young because his family took him on a trip around the world and some other lavish things.) Ralph & Mr. Marshall make an agreement. Tonight, he will come by Mr. Marshall's house to play pool. Ed Norton comes by. Ralph tells him that his playing with Norton tonight will have to be canceled, but Mr. Marshall says that he doesn't want them to do that because of him. He says to bring Norton over tonight at 9pm. They agree. He leaves. Ralph talks to Norton about being promoted and how to get a promotion is to socialize with the higher-ups. (Ralph wants to be a bus driver supervisor, but I don't think he tells Ed.) Ed Norton agrees. He says if it weren't for a game of golf, he would never have the job of sewer worker. While he played golf during the Depression years, one of the balls went down the sewer; he went down to get it, saw his future boss, struck up a conversation with him and got the job. Ralph: "You ought to send that story in to Reader's Digest." Now didn't Ed Norton say in "Teamwork Beats The Clock" that he got the job because his family has been working in the sewers for generations? Didn't he also say in "Stand-In For Murder" that he got the job of sewer worker when a few people came over to him and promised a job which was better than the one he had? Also, in "Hair-Raising Tale", didn't Ed need Ralph's reference to get a job in the sewer? Talk about storyline errors. Ralph says that after tonight, he might get a pool table in his apartment. (Yeah, like he can fit one in his apartment.) Ed: "if you do, you'll have to stand on the sink to make a shot." They leave.

That night at 9pm, Ralph & Ed are at Mr. Marshall's mansion's pool room. His butler says he will be with them shortly because he's in the library. Ed: "Well, he ought to be here soon. The library closes at 9pm." The butler leaves. Ralph & Ed look over the expensive furniture that Ralph says must cost at least $100. No kidding. One of the things they look at is a rope that Ralph claims is to open and shut the drapes. They pull on it a couple of times and every one of those times, the butler comes out. (Obviously, it's used to ring for the butler.) Ralph says to Ed that when Mr. Marshall comes out, to complement on every one of his shots that he makes. Mr. Marshall comes out, pulls the rope, and the butler comes out. Mr. Marshall (to the butler): "I won't be taking any calls this evening." Ed: "How do you like that? It was tied to the butler." When Mr. Marshall chalks up his pool cue, Ralph compliments on how well he did that and when he misses his shot the first time, Ralph says: "And you said that you were just a beginner." He misses his shot again. Ed: "Excellent! Excellent!" Mr. Marshall: "But, I missed it again. Ed: "You're getting closer." Ralph tries to teach Mr. Marshall about the game of pool and how relaxing it is. Ed & Mr. Marshall strike up a conversation on how he should have a pool table at the company so the drivers can relax between shifts. He agrees. Ralph tries to start teaching again but gets interrupted. Ed & Mr. Marshall talk more about how Mr. Marshall should run the bus company and gives him more ideas (like odd/even buses. All the odd buses would stop on the odd streets. The even buses would stop on the even streets.) Ralph tries to teach several more times, but gets interrupted every time. Mr. Marshall asks Norton where he works and finds out that he works in the sewer. Mr. Marshall asks Ed to come down to the office, so he can be on his first step to being a bus driver supervisor. Ralph is angry. Mr. Marshall is now ready to watch Ralph. Ralph is so angry that he bangs the ball down and misses his shot.

At home, Trixie talks to Alice. She reads an ad for a sale on shorts. Alice: "What sizes are available?" Trixie: "All sizes 32 to 50." Alice: "Nope, nothing there for Ralph." They talk over how the boys went to Mr. Marshall's place tonight and how Ralph wants that promotion to being a bus driver supervisor. Alice says that you don't get promoted just because of one night. Ralph comes home. Trixie leaves. Ralph says that he doesn't want Alice to speak to Trixie again and he doesn't want Ed's name to be mentioned in this house. Ralph goes over what happened tonight and all the idiotic suggestions that Ed made to him and how Mr. Marshall agreed to them, like an idiot. Ralph: "'Mr. Norton, I like a man who can think on his feet.' Norton works in the sewer. He has to stand to think on his feet. If he sat down, he would drown!" Alice thinks that Ralph is jealous, which he is. Alice talks about his pride. Ralph says that it isn't, but said the day Norton became his supervisor, he would quit because of his pride. They talk about the fact that Ed may not like the job and decide that he's happy in the sewer. Sure enough, Ed comes down and not only says that he is accepting the job, but asks Ralph to call him E.N. Ed: "As long as I am an executive in that bus company, you are sure of being a bus driver as long as you live." Ralph motions to Ed to get out and yells at him to get out. Ed does. Ralph and Alice talk over the matter some more. Ralph says that he is the one that should apologize to Ed for kicking him out and for him accepting the job. Ed comes down again. He explained the events of tonight to Trixie and Trixie reminded him that all of Ed's ideas were Ralph's and that he just used different words. Ed suggests that when Ralph gets an idea about how things should be run in the bus company, he should write it down. Ed: "Boy, tonight I thought I had a great head on my shoulders. Until I found out it was yours." Alice is happy and kisses Ed. Ed tries to talk more but for some reason, has a little bit of trouble. Ed then collects himself and says that him and Ralph will come to the bus company office tomorrow and explain to Mr. Marshall that all of his ideas were Ralph's. Ed: "If there is an opening in that bus company, I would be happy to work for you R.K." Ed leaves. Ralph and Alice kiss and hug.

At the end of the sponsor ads one, Jack comes out and plugs Buick.

Episode #141
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "The Deciding Vote."
Laserdisc: Attached to “Young At Heart”, “Here Comes The Bride”, “A Dog’s Life”, “Please Leave The Premises”, “Young Man With A Horn”, “Mama Loves Mambo”, “House Beautiful” (aka “Pardon My Glove”), “The Worry Wart”, “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “Head of The House”), “The Loudspeaker”, “Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large”, “Opportunity Knocks, But” & “On Stage.”
DVD: Attached to episodes #24 - #32 of the classic 39 on disc 4. On the HD Blu Ray set it is attached to episodes #25-#33 of the Classic 39 (including two versions of "Pardon My Glove" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "Young Man With A Horn" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "Trapped" [one of which has the original sponsor ads], two versions of "On Stage" [one of which has the original sponsor ads] & two versions of "Opportunity Knocks, But" [one of which has the original sponsor ads] on disc 4.

"Unconventional Behavior":

To see the finished script, click here: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co...episode=s04e33

On my 16th birthday on June 23, 1996, I got this tape. I told everyone that I wanted the tape that has the episode where Ed & Ralph are handcuffed (I didn't know the title of the episode yet.) It was the first of a WHOLE LOT of Honeymooners things that I would collect.

In the same episode, particularly the first half, there is someone in the audience with a real noticeable and obnoxious laugh. Trixie comes in and she talks to Alice. They talk over the upcoming Raccoon convention in Minneapolis. Ed saved a lot of money where Ralph saved about 50 cents and that Ralph is going to ask Alice for the money. But, she will give it to him. Trixie brings up the fact that she was at the butcher's and how the people running the place are not nice. (One of them called her "sweetie-pie" and the other one called her "honey.") Ed comes down and Trixie explained what happened to her at the butcher's. Ed is upset, but not because of the name-calling but because of the prices they offer for meat. The girls go upstairs as Ed tires to set his watch. Ralph comes in. Ed just set his watch by the nearby Chinese restaurant which opens at 5pm every day. Ed: "I can prove it to you. They start cooking the egg foo young at 5:26. The first whiff reaches my apartment at 5:28. The first whiff reaches your apartment at 5:26:56." Ed's watch malfunctions a lot so he sets his watch by the Chinese restaurant a lot. Ralph: "Would it be easier to get a new watch?" Ed says that there is nothing works with his watch except it needs a new something and he will write a letter to Walt Disney tonight. Ralph shows Ed all the toys he's going to bring to the convention. Ralph & Ed plan on using a lot of gags at the convention. Everything from false faces (masks) to bags for filling up with water so they can throw them out of the hotel window. Ed: "Remember last year at the convention when the police were cracking down on the people who were throwing water bags out of the hotel window? That didn't stop me, I kept on throwing." Ralph: "What happened?" Ed: "I almost drowned the window was closed." Ralph: "That figures, with you doing it." Ed said an almost exact same story in "The Hypnotist." Ralph says that he doesn’t have the money for the convention, so he will ask Alice for it by asking her to come along. Ed doesn't like that at all because Trixie come. Alice comes down and Ralph asks her to come along and for the money. Alice says yes to both and says that she was going to offer to give him the money anyway. Ralph is angry because now she is coming and he didn't have to ask her. Alice: "We are going to have so much fun." Alice goes into the bedroom. Ed says that they will have a lot of fun with the wives along. Ed: "How do you get us into these fixes?" Ralph: "Very simple." (yells): "I HAVE GOT A BIIIIIG MOUTH!"

On the train that they think is going to Minneapolis and near the births (bunks) that Ralph & Ed will use, Ed wears a mask and scares Ralph. Ralph: "What is the matter with you?" Ralph goes over how much fun this convention will be. The boys are concerned that the girls haven't arrived yet. They think it is terrible that if they miss the train because they will now have more fun. They laugh at the terribleness of the girls missing the train. The conductor yells: "ALL ABOARD!" Some train noise is heard. Ed shows Ralph some of the other toys he brought, like trick handcuffs. He puts them on himself and Ralph and when he says: "Boomph!” they will fall off. He says the word a few times, but it doesn't work. Uh oh! They try to get out of the handcuffs. Ed tries to break them by stepping on them, but it doesn't work. Ralph is upset. They will go to sleep now and tomorrow they will get a hacksaw and get out of the cuffs. They will now have to sleep on the bottom bunk. For some reason, no train noise indicating that it is moving is heard. You think that there would be. Ed says that it's hot sleeping with the jacket on and they both try to take the jackets off but they can't because of the cuffs. Oh God! They put on the coats. I guess they didn't want them to get wrinkled. Then Ed wants to sleep on the other side of the bed because he is getting claustrophobic. He moves to the other side and accidentally knees Jackie in the groin causing Jackie to say: "You're breaking my arm!" That wasn't supposed to happen. He then asks Ralph if he can sleep on the top bunk because he can't sleep on his back. Ralph is now more upset. But orders Ed to go up there and sleep on his stomach. Ralph's handcuffed arm is now in pain due to the blood running. Ralph: "Reach down a little!" Ed: "Reach up a little!" Ed then says: "I wonder where the girls are because if they missed it, I'm glad because they would have been nothing but trouble. They would be huh? More trouble then him and Ralph being handcuffed? Ed asks Ralph if he can smoke. Ralph: "I don't care if you burn!" Ed says they are some cigarettes underneath his bunk. Ralph orders Ed to get down and get the cigarette and asks Ed if he's hungry, thirsty and if everything is fine. Everything is. Ed goes back up and asks Ralph if he has a match. A studio audience member says: “Ha ha! A match.” Ralph is now angry. He gets Norton down and the conductor asks what the trouble is. Ralph explains what happened. Ralph (yells): "I HAVE TO BE HANDCUFFED TO THIS IDIOT ALL THE WAY TO MINNEAPOLIS." Conductor: "Gentlemen, we are going in the other direction to Norfolk, Virginia." D'oh! Not something that Ralph & Ed wanted to hear. They sit down on Ralph's bunk as the episode ends.

In a 1988 issue of The Honeymooners comics series, the writers wrote a continuation of this storyline. Ralph & Ed, while still being handcuffed, get on the right train to Minneapolis with Ed annoying Ralph all the while. The girls get to Minneapolis and see a whole lot of Raccoon members in the hotel acting crazy and yelling: "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Funny hi-jinks are that Trixie gets doused with water from a flower on one of the Raccoon jackets and the girls deciding to have some fun by dropping bags of water out the hotel window (with the window open of course) and the bag landing on Ralph.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Box Set booklet Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.
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