A Honeymooners Valentine's Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph comes out of the bedroom. He is in his tuxedo.)

Ralph: "Alice, come on. We will be late."

Alice (from bedroom, yells): "I WILL BE OUT RALPH."

(Ed comes down dressed as Cupid. Crowd cheers.)

Ralph: "Norton, you look like you should be at Bellevue. You dressed up as Cupid."

Ed: "It's Valentine's Day Ralph. Time to get into the Valentine's Day spirit. I am surprised that you are not dressed up as a big box of chocolates. You might even EAT all of them."

Ralph: "Oooooh, you are going to get it Norton."

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: "I am ready. Is Trixie ready Ed 'Cupid' Norton?"

Ed: "She should be."

Alice: "By the way Ralph, I told my parents about this dance. My mother said that if you went as a box of chocolates, you would probably eat them."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!"

Alice: "Ralph, I got something for you before we go."

(Alice gives Ralph his gift.)

Ralph: "I got something for you. Wait until you see it."

(Ralph goes into the bedroom. He comes out with 50 pound box of chocolates and some red roses and a teddy bear.)

Alice: "Ralph, you shouldn't have."

Ralph: "That teddy bear is from Vermont Teddy Bear and here are the rest."

Alice: "Ralph, they are lovely."

(Alice kisses Ralph.)

Ralph: "I will open my gift."

(He does.)

Ralph: "Wow! Thank you very much Alice. It is three Valentine's Day cookies. I love you sweetie."

Ed: "I am not your type Ralph."

Ralph: "She's sweetie. You are a fruit cake."

(They hug and kiss.)

Ed: "Ralph, you are one of nature's noble men to give Alice all that."

Ralph: "Well Valentine's Day is the day of live."

(They sing a song about Valentine's Day being the day of love.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT."

(Crowd cheers.)