(A Honeymooners New Year's Day.)

[Frank Gannucci]

(A Honeymooners New Year's Day.)

(The Kramdens and Nortons are at the Raccoon Lodge.)

All (yell): "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

(They all kiss and hug their wives.)

(Everyone sings "Alud Sang.")

(Later on, Ralph & Ed go outside the Racoon Lodge. They are completely plastered.)

Ralph: "Heeeeey Norton, let's all sit down at my kitchen table here."

(They sit down on a bench.)

Ed: "Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaalph-ie boy, you were a riot. I thought I waaaas going to die laughing when you put the pizza pie on the cd player or when you looked liek you were going to bob for apples in a keg of beer."

(They both laugh.)

Ralph: "Let's siiiiiiiiiiing a song pal."

Both (drunkenly and off-key): "I'm malicious, mean and scary/My sneer could curdle dairy/And violence-wise, my hands are not the cleanest."

Ed: "Doo wop. Doo wop. Doo wop."

Ralph: "Oh, I am lucky to have a wife like Alice. She is such a good actress. She feigned annoyance when it looked like I was going to put the pizza pie on the cd player as well as when it looked like I was going to bob for apples in a keg of beer."

(A big burly guy comes over.)

Man: "Look at that guy over there. He looks sober."

Ralph: "Oooh, don't you insult me. I am never sober. I can take you on. Let's fight."

(The next morning, Ralph comes out of the bedroom. He has bandages all over his face. He sees Alice.)

Ralph: "Alice, what did I do last night?"

Alice: "You got drunk and acted like an idiot. You also embarrassed me and you also got into a fight with a big burly guy who is in MMA. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Ralph (yells): "I GOT A BIIIIIIIIIG MOUTH."

(Ralph sits down.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "How sweet it is."

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "I hope everyone has a Happy 2018. We all deserve it."

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Aud comes on stage and shakes Jack's hand.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jackie's hand.)

Jackie: “Jean Kean."

(Crowd cheers as Jean comes on stage and shakes Jack's hand.)

Jackie: "Sammy, I hope you are still sober after the Christmas holiday. I saw you drinking the booze like there was no tomorrow. Hahaha! Let's all sing "Alud Sang.")

(They do.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

Credit for the song lyrics goes to http://www.songlyrics.com/tangled/i-...-dream-lyrics/