Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Stand-In For Murder" ('55) & "TV or Not TV":

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Stand-In For Murder" ('55) & "TV or Not TV":

Episode #109
TV: Only seen once. It was shown at a R.A.L.P.H. convention in 1985. One of the people who posted on this board saw it. (I don't know who it was. Might have been Videowack.)
VHS/DVD: For whatever reason, only the older and unfinished version has been released. Not this one. On The Best of Honeymooners Lost Episodes Volume 1, it is attached to ““A Weighty Problem”, “A Little Man Who Wasn’t There” & “Songwriters.” On the Restored Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, it is attached to “Songs & Witty Sayings”, “Boys & Girls Together”, “Letter To The Boss” (‘’55 version), “Principle of the Thing”, “Double Anniversary Party”, “The Check-Up” & “Forgot To Register.”
Color Title: “Two Faces of Ralph Kramden.”
Air Date: Sat. 6/4/55

A mob boss, who is a dead ringer for Ralph, is holed up in his apartment because a rival gang leader, Barney Hackett, wants to bump him off. The guy (played by Jackie Gleason) wants to go to South America with the rest of the gang. Nick, one of his henchmen, just came of a bus in which the driver looks exactly like his boss. I wonder why? Nick (played by George Petrie) says that he offered the driver the idea of being a boss of an insurance executive at an insurance company. When Ralph up in the apartment, the will get the rival mob gang to kill Ralph. (The rival gang will think that Ralph is the boss of the other gang.) Boss: "When that happens, we will all go to South America and it will be a Mardi Gras for the rest of my years."

Alice is home mixing plaster. She dances to music on the radio (it isn’t “In The Mood” like it was in the 1954 version). Ed comes in and dances to the music with the bowl of plaster in his hands. Alice turns off the radio. Ed suggests that they all go out dancing one night. Ralph hates dancing so Ed says to bring the bowl. Ed tastes the plaster thinking it was icing. He tells Alice that. Ralph comes home. Ralph then says that one person offered him the job of being an insurance executive of an insurance company (whose name he doesn't even know). Alice gets suspicious. Ralph says that Alice has got no faith in him. Alice then offers Ralph and Ed some food for dinner. Ed helps himself and takes more on his dish than Ralph does. Ralph: "I'm mad at Alice because she thinks that there is no one stupid enough to offer me a job." Ed: "This guy sounds stupid enough." The guy who offered Ralph the job, Nick along with Frank, come in. They give Ralph the job. Ralph & Ed, being stupid, believe them. Ralph says that he doesn't want to leave the driving job if this job wasn't steady. Man: "I'll tell you, you will have this job for the rest of your life." Ralph asks about salary. If I were offered a job, I wouldn’t ask about salary. They start by offering Ralph $400 a week. Ralph coughs. The money is raised to $500. Ralph coughs more. They raise their offer to $600. Ralph: "Norton, give me some water." Ed: "Keep coughing Ralph. You will be a millionaire in no time." They give him the money in advance. Ralph & Ed, being stupid, still believe them. They also offer Ralph a Park Avenue apartment, and a chauffeured limousine. Alice can't stay with Ralph for the first days because the president will be in town and having Alice around will make the situation worse. Sure, it will. They leave and Alice comes back. Ralph tells Alice what happened and the news about the job and when Ralph shows Alice the money, believe it or not, Alice believes the job is true. She is mad because he has to stay here for the first few days of Ralph’s new job. Now, she believes that the job is phony.

On the first day of the job, the boss is talking with one of his henchmen about how they are going to knock of Ralph. They are going to put Ralph in there as bait and when he opens up the blinds that will be the signal for the Hackett mob to shoot and kill. A knock on the door is heard, so the boss hides in back of a screen. The henchman takes his time to answer the door. He probably did that to give Jackie more time to go into his Ralph Kramden character. (Remember back then, they didn't have the technology to put two characters played by one person in the same room on TV plus this episode was done live.) Ralph Kradmen comes in (complete with audience applauding) and says that this apartment looks nicer than his old one when it was brand new. They just revealed the fact that there was a passageway that led to the apartment hallway. He gets shown the bedroom, while the henchman talks from the main room what Ralph can find in the bedroom. He locks the bedroom door while the boss emerges (complete with audience applauding) from in back of the screen. That's revealing the fact that the "bedroom" had a passageway that lead to the back of the screen. Ed Norton comes in and talks to the boss thinking that it is Ralph. He even takes the bosses hat and "improves" it. That's funny. The boss and the henchman leave. Ralph emerges from the bedroom which by this time was unlocked by Frank. Ralph greets Ed and asks him when he got here. Ed says that he was just talking to him. Ralph: "I guess I didn't hear you." Nick comes by and said that he spoke to Hackett personally and that he was double crossing the boss. Right now, the Hackett mob is staked out in a room across from the apartment and that when they leave they are going to call Ralph and get him to open the shades and that is when Ralph will get killed. (Hackett isn’t wise to the switch. They soon leave. The phone rings and its Nick. He says that they just got Ralph a new car. Ralph goes to the window to open the blinds but changes his mind when Ed says that they can view it outside. They leave and slam the door which causes the blinds to open and the mob from across the street (which incidentally is the Hackett mob) starts shooting. Things are knocked down, yet aside from the window, no other bullet holes are shown. Ralph & Ed don’t suspect a thing.

Next, Nick sends Ralph to Hackett's headquarters (a bar), to "sell him insurance." (One of the characters who played part of the other gang is also playing parts of Barney Hackett’s gang. One of them is actually playing Barney Hackett. Ed & Ralph walk in. A fly is heard. Ed is trying to swat it. The fly is buzzing real loud. So loud that it couldn’t be a real one. When Ralph & Ed speak to the bartender and ask for Barney Hackett, Ed swats the fly and scares the bartender into getting Barney Hackett. Somehow, the bartender doesn’t think that Ed was swatting a fly. When Ralph walks in, Hackett thinks it's his archenemy looking for a showdown. Ralph doesn't suspect a thing. Barney's gang is shown to Ralph and Hackett calls him his family. Ralph: "Lovely family." Just as Ralph is invited to step into the back room, a cop walks in and insists that Ralph move his car.

When Ralph shows up at the apartment again with Ed, Nick decides they'll have to bump off Ralph themselves, and then dump his body in front of Hackett's joint. He mistakes his boss for Ralph, “knocks him cold”, and deposits him in the bedroom. They leave and Ralph hears a knock on the door. It's Alice. Alice comes by to visit Ralph on his first day on the job. She now believes that the job is real. Another knock on the door is heard and it's the boss' girlfriend. She hugs Ralph (thinking he is the boss) and Alice sees it and spark fly. Ralph says that he doesn't know her while the girl claims that he does. She leaves. Ralph then spots the boss on the bed. Alice then calls the cops in the den. Nick & Frank come in. They think that they are talking to Ralph & try to explain what they did. They give Ralph the gun so they can shoot “Ralph.” Ralph gets the gun and points it at them and tells them to get their hands up. Alice takes the gun. A police siren is heard. The episode ends. Ralph’s “new career” comes to an end.

On the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set, we get the curtain call. Jackie comes out and joked that he hasn’t made that many costume changes since he was six. He brings out Audrey and Art for their bow. He then talks about last week’s episode of the Jackie Gleason Show and how he forgot to thank the Disc Jockeys of America. He then plugs next week’s episode of the Jackie Gleason Show that is going to feature the other Gleason characters that the people have asked to see. He also mentioned to the people next week to help out the people like bus drivers because it is National Safety Week. He then talks about how last year’s version of this episode ran overtime and this one has ran long on time. He tries to eat up some time by telling a story about Ray being in a bar in Las Vegas and having a drink during the time that the A-Bomb was heard. Due to the abundance of time, Jackie made a joke when he said that he wished he was there. He gets the cue from a person off stage to end the show. He then jokes that now he doesn’t want to leave and they can run the credits off of him. Ha! With that, that is the end.

Episode #110 (Syndicated Episode #1)
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Honeymooners Highlights" (a five minute clip fest of the classic 39 episodes.)
DVD: On the CBS/Paramount, Columbia House and TV Guide DVD box sets, it is Attached to the other first nine Classic 39 episodes. On the Fan Favorites: Best of The Honeymooners, it is attached to “Funny Money”, “The Golfer”, “The Sleepwalker”, “Better Living Through TV”, “The Man From Space”, “$99,000 Answer” & “Young At Heart.” On The Honeymooners Christmad Laughter DVD, it is attached to "'Twas The Night Before XMas", "The Golfer", "Man From Space", "Bettet Living Through TV" & "The $99,000 Answer."
Air Date: Sat. 10/1/55

Honeymooners.net as well as The Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book didn't offer a full synopsis on the Classic 39 episodes like they do with the lost episodes. The Honeymooners Companion Book does have a synopsis of each of the Classic 39.

To see the script, click here: https://www.springfieldspringfield.c...episode=s04e01

Alice is home. Trixie visits. Trixie is upset because she needs a new TV. This is their second one. Alice is upset because her and Ralph never owned one. What about the TV set they had in "Honeymooners Christmas Party" or the one they won on "Beat The Clock" or the one that they shared with the Nortons in "One Big Happy Family"? She is going to convince Ralph to buy her one. Trixie leaves. Ralph comes home and Alice tries to butter him up just like she did in "Boys & Girls Together" and once again Ralph acts indifferent. Alice is upset. She complains that she wants a TV set and they could afford one because Ralph makes as much money as Ed does (because they buy all their expensive things on credit) while they don't have any modern conveniences. Alice says that she wants a TV set. She has lived there for 14 years without a stick of furniture being changed. What about the door? Gee, I wonder what it would be like living in a place without a stick of furniture being changed for 14 years. Alice is tired of looking at her four walls. Alice (yells): "I WANT TO LOOK AT LIBERACE!" Ha!

Ralph goes along with Alice but he says that eventually Ed has to pay for all those things that he has and that are headaches. Ralph mentions that their bank account is going up. It's up to $73. Any couple I think that has a bank account must be living in a shack but I could be wrong. Ralph: "I rather have money in my wallet than anything else. I have got it here" (pointing to his wallet). Alice counters by saying that not only does Ralph have it in his hips, but also in his stomach. Ha! She still wants a TV set. Ralph says he is also waiting for 3D TV, and then he will buy a TV set. The first 3D set didn't become invented until 2009. She goes into the bedroom. Ed Norton comes in and complains that since he doesn't have the money to buy a new set, he is going to miss Captain Video taking off for Pluto. He can't buy a new set on credit anymore because he isn't allowed to. Ralph gets an idea. They will both buy a great set and it will be stationed in his house. Does that sound fair? No. But considering its Ralph Kramden's idea, what do you expect? Ed complains. Ralph's response to his complaints is that Ed is the Champion of Babies. They flip a coin. Ralph: "Heads, I win. Tails, you lose." Ralph flips it and Ed is stupid enough to believe that the coin toss is fair.

The new set is in the apartment. Ralph gets ready to watch a program on the new set which includes him having a lot of trouble opening up a bag of snacks. I should point out that when TV Guide mentioned this episode as one of the greatest TV episodes in history of TV in 1997, they talked about this whole scene. He goes into the bedroom. Ed Norton comes in and turns on Captain Video. Yeah, that program is geared towards five-year-olds, but considering its Ed Norton, what do you expect? For the first time in Honeymooners history, we hear Captain Video's voice. Ed puts on his Captain Video helmet and when Ralph sees Ed in that for the first time, he is shocked. Ed recites his Captain Video pledge which goes something like this:

"I Ed Norton of the Captain Video Space Academy do solemnly pledge to obey my mommy and daddy, be kind to dumb animals and old ladies in and out of space, not to tease my little brothers and sisters, and to brush my teeth twice a day and drink milk after every meal."

Ralph complains that all he has watched on this set for three nights is westerns, space shows, cartoon frolics and puppet shows and that if he ever bothers Ralph again while watching his show, he will cut off his air supply. Ha! Ralph changes the channel but Ed doesn't like what he is watching, so he changes the channel back to Captain Video. They go back and forth changing channels just to watch their respective shows that they want to watch. I can only imagine what their conversation would be like if that TV had a "Picture-In-Picture" feature. They argue off course so they agree to find a show that they will both want to watch. They pick out a boxing match. During the boxing match, the reception on the TV is bad, so Ed suggests to Ralph to take the antenna and go outside in the hallway to get the perfect reception. Thankfully, with cable and satellite, we rarely have these problems. Ralph does that. Ed says that the reception now is perfect so he slams the door and locks Ralph out so he can turn back to Captain Video. Ha!

Ralph is watching TV. It's getting late. Alice says that Ralph will be late for work. Ralph is getting very tired. When TV Land first acquired "The Honeymooners" in 1999, the image of Ralph with his eyes closed was one of the first Honeymooners images to appear on TV Land. Ralph gets up and thinking that the hallway is the bedroom, he goes into it and falls down the stairs. He realizes his error and goes into the correct room. Ed Norton comes in to watch TV with a big sandwich. He gets Ralph up and as he came in, you can see Art is trying his best to cover up his laughter. Ralph and Ed have a fight over Ed coming downstairs to watch TV. Alice says that he should take the TV set upstairs. Ralph says that he isn't allowed to. Ed: "We flipped a coin. He said: 'Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.' It was tails and I lost." Ralph: "I learned that trick from you Alice. That is how we got married." Alice says that Ralph and Ed are both in the wrong for coming up with this idea and that they should stop acting like babies. Ralph and Ed reconcile and they agree to watch another TV show to which they fall asleep as it is airing. Alice comes in and puts blankets on them. She says: "Ralph, you were right. We should have never got a TV set."

I should point out that if you view this episode on the original DVD versions (the ones that came out before the Blu Ray), for whatever reason the volume is lower than it is for the rest of the episodes. This flaw was not on the VHS tape nor is it on the Blu-Ray Set.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.

[Frank Gannucci]

Bump

[forn]

I watched "TV or not TV" this afternoon. As noted, it's the first episode of the classic 39.

What I noticed about it was that Alice wanted the television set, and made quite a fuss about it. But we never see Alice ever watching it all, only Ralph and Ed. One wonders if poor Trixie ever got to see it. Maybe during the day she and Alice watched it.

And of course, we never saw the TV for the rest of the series.