Funny lines - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

MA · 10-22-2017, 07:22 PM

Does anyone have any favorite funny lines from the show?

MA · 10-22-2017, 07:26 PM

I've been rewatching A Guy Named Phantom lately and there's so many hilarious lines in that episode, that I just cannot name them all.

MA · 10-22-2017, 07:28 PM

Dan: The lovely Christine! (The way he says it just makes me crack up)

Oscar: Get your hands off my girlfriend. What are you, a creep?

Phil125 · 10-22-2017, 10:38 PM

Pretty much anything the weavers said:

Judge Harry T. Stone: What are you folks doing here? I thought you went back home to West Virginia.
Bob Wheeler: Sir, we're not from West Virginia.
Judge Harry T. Stone: You're not?
June Wheeler: No, sir. We perjured ourselves.
Bob Wheeler: And we lied, too.
Judge Harry T. Stone: Why did you pick West Virginia?
Bob Wheeler: I don't know. It was the first exotic place that popped into my head.
Christine Sullivan: Well then, where are you from?
June Wheeler: Isn't the accent obvious?
Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: You mean you're from...
Bob Wheeler: Yugoslavia.

That might be my favorite line in the whole series.

Phil125 · 10-22-2017, 10:42 PM

another good one:

Harry Stone: [an elderly defendant is on trial for prostitution. Several elderly men in wheelchairs cheer for her] Mr. Reynolds, were all these men this happy before they met Mrs. Smith?
Mr. Reynolds: No. But they could all walk.

another one.

Bull Shannon: So, Mr. Torme, how did you like your tour of the morgue?
Mel Torme: [emotional and wiping his brow] Very educational.

This show was based on one liners I could be here all night.

MA · 12-29-2017, 03:17 PM

Some more of Dan’s lines as The Phantom.

(chuckles) Ah yes, poor Dan. Too bad his friends think he’s guilty.

And no, Inspector Pepitone, you will not bring Dan Fielding to justice because there is no (billow cape) jus-tice in this buil-ding (Evil Laugh, suddenly stops).

What am I laughing at? I'm Dan. No, I'm not. (starts wandering around the room waving his hands)

Now, I am the Phantom of the Courthouse.

Not yet anyway. But soon I will remedy that, (raises cape with both hands) I will vanquish the guilty! I will punish the wick-ed! (rushes to the desk) I will take this stapler because I need one. And, I will raid the refrigerator, (laugh) because the Phantom's lair is short on half and half!

Now I must prepare, because my time is near. The time of... the Phantom! (Evil Laugh, runs into the couch) Ouch! (sad voice) The Phantom banged his shin. (waves hands) I'll have to take that out... on someone. (Sting, Dan climbs out the window)

10-22-2017, 07:22 PM	#1
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,556	Funny lines Does anyone have any favorite funny lines from the show?
	__________________ ~-Mikaela-~

10-22-2017, 07:28 PM	#3
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,556	Dan: The lovely Christine! (The way he says it just makes me crack up) Oscar: Get your hands off my girlfriend. What are you, a creep?
	Last edited by MA; 10-22-2017 at 08:08 PM.

10-22-2017, 07:26 PM	#2
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,556	I've been rewatching A Guy Named Phantom lately and there's so many hilarious lines in that episode, that I just cannot name them all.

10-22-2017, 10:38 PM	#4
Phil125 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 03, 2016 Location: NEPA Posts: 56	Pretty much anything the weavers said: Judge Harry T. Stone: What are you folks doing here? I thought you went back home to West Virginia. Bob Wheeler: Sir, we're not from West Virginia. Judge Harry T. Stone: You're not? June Wheeler: No, sir. We perjured ourselves. Bob Wheeler: And we lied, too. Judge Harry T. Stone: Why did you pick West Virginia? Bob Wheeler: I don't know. It was the first exotic place that popped into my head. Christine Sullivan: Well then, where are you from? June Wheeler: Isn't the accent obvious? Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: You mean you're from... Bob Wheeler: Yugoslavia. That might be my favorite line in the whole series.

10-22-2017, 10:42 PM	#5
Phil125 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 03, 2016 Location: NEPA Posts: 56	another good one: Harry Stone: [an elderly defendant is on trial for prostitution. Several elderly men in wheelchairs cheer for her] Mr. Reynolds, were all these men this happy before they met Mrs. Smith? Mr. Reynolds: No. But they could all walk. another one. Bull Shannon: So, Mr. Torme, how did you like your tour of the morgue? Mel Torme: [emotional and wiping his brow] Very educational. This show was based on one liners I could be here all night.

12-29-2017, 03:17 PM	#6
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,556	Some more of Dan’s lines as The Phantom. (chuckles) Ah yes, poor Dan. Too bad his friends think he’s guilty. And no, Inspector Pepitone, you will not bring Dan Fielding to justice because there is no (billow cape) jus-tice in this buil-ding (Evil Laugh, suddenly stops). What am I laughing at? I'm Dan. No, I'm not. (starts wandering around the room waving his hands) Now, I am the Phantom of the Courthouse. Not yet anyway. But soon I will remedy that, (raises cape with both hands) I will vanquish the guilty! I will punish the wick-ed! (rushes to the desk) I will take this stapler because I need one. And, I will raid the refrigerator, (laugh) because the Phantom's lair is short on half and half! Now I must prepare, because my time is near. The time of... the Phantom! (Evil Laugh, runs into the couch) Ouch! (sad voice) The Phantom banged his shin. (waves hands) I'll have to take that out... on someone. (Sting, Dan climbs out the window)