Mayim Bialik: Being a Feminist in Harvey Weinstein’s World

[Mr. Television]

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/13/o...weinstein.html

Mayim Bialik: Being a Feminist in Harvey Weinstein’s World

By MAYIM BIALIK OCT. 13, 2017

I entered the Hollywood machine in 1986 as a prominent-nosed, awkward, geeky, Jewish 11-year-old — basically a scrawnier version of the person I am today. Back then we didn’t have the internet or social media or reality TV, but I didn’t need any of that to understand that I didn’t look or act like other girls in my industry, and that I was immersing myself in a business that rewarded physical beauty and sex appeal above all else.

Nothing has been a harsher reminder that I work in an industry that profits on the exploitation of women — and not just on screen — than the accusations of Harvey Weinstein as a serial sexual assaulter, particularly of aspiring young actresses. Though I am shocked and disgusted by the scope of his alleged predation, the fact that he may have abused his position of power does not surprise me in the least.

I have always had an uncomfortable relationship with being employed in an industry that profits on the objectification of women. Though pressure to “be like the pretty girls” started long before I entered Hollywood, I quickly learned even as a preteen actress that young girls with doe eyes and pouty lips who spoke in a high register were favored for roles by the powerful men who made those decisions.

I grew up constantly being teased about my appearance, even from members of my family; my nose and chin were the main objects of discussion. As a teenager I started obsessing over the possibility of a nose job so that I would look more like Danica McKellar, with a chin job to balance things out. Soon I wondered if I should get breast implants to look more like Christina Applegate, who got so much attention for her curves. I consistently felt like a troll compared to many of my contemporaries. A “TV Guide” critic described me, in a review of the pilot episode of “Blossom,” as having a “shield-shaped” face of “mismatched features.” I never recovered from seeing myself that way.


I always made conservative choices as a young actress, largely informed by my first-generation American parents who were highly skeptical of this industry in general — “This business will use you up and throw you away like a snotty tissue!”— and of its men in particular: “They only want one thing.” My mom didn’t let me wear makeup or get manicures. She encouraged me to be myself in audition rooms, and I followed my mother’s strong example to not put up with anyone calling me “baby” or demanding hugs on set. I was always aware that I was out of step with the expected norm for girls and women in Hollywood.

I eventually left the business when I was 19 to pursue a doctorate in neuroscience at the University of California, Los Angeles. I craved being around people who valued me more for what was inside my brain than what was inside my bra. After 12 years away from Hollywood, I returned to acting, largely because I had no health insurance and missed performing and making people laugh.

As a “nontraditional”-looking woman, I came back to an industry that had me auditioning for the “frumpy friend” or the “zaftig secretary,” though I eventually landed a role that has earned me four Emmy nominations. Is it a surprise that I play an androgynous, awkward, late bloomer?

I am grateful to bring Amy Farrah Fowler to life on the No. 1 sitcom in America. I am honored to depict a feminist who speaks her mind, who loves science and her friends and who sometimes wishes she were the hot girl.

I can relate. I’ve wished that, too.

And yet I have also experienced the upside of not being a “perfect ten.” As a proud feminist with little desire to diet, get plastic surgery or hire a personal trainer, I have almost no personal experience with men asking me to meetings in their hotel rooms. Those of us in Hollywood who don’t represent an impossible standard of beauty have the “luxury” of being overlooked and, in many cases, ignored by men in power unless we can make them money.

I still make choices every day as a 41-year-old actress that I think of as self-protecting and wise. I have decided that my sexual self is best reserved for private situations with those I am most intimate with. I dress modestly. I don’t act flirtatiously with men as a policy.




I am entirely aware that these types of choices might feel oppressive to many young feminists. Women should be able to wear whatever they want. They should be able to flirt however they want with whomever they want. Why are we the ones who have to police our behavior?



In a perfect world, women should be free to act however they want. But our world isn’t perfect. Nothing — absolutely nothing — excuses men for assaulting or abusing women. But we can’t be naïve about the culture we live in.

I believe that we can change our culture, but it won’t be something that happens overnight. We live in a society that has treated women as disposable playmates for far longer than Mr. Weinstein has been meeting ingénues in luxury hotel rooms.

One major bright spot: We are seeing more women taking on prominent roles behind the camera. Women like Jenji Kohan and Jill Soloway are showing the kinds of female characters on their shows that we all know in real life but never got to see on TV. And more women and men are waking up to the fact that it is on us all to sound the alarm on unacceptable behavior.

In the meantime, I plan to continue to work hard to encourage young women to cultivate the parts of themselves that may not garner them money and fame. If you are beautiful and sexy, terrific. But having others celebrate your physical beauty is not the way to lead a meaningful life.

And if — like me — you’re not a perfect 10, know that there are people out there who will find you stunning, irresistible and worthy of attention, respect and love. The best part is you don’t have to go to a hotel room or a casting couch to find them.

[JamesG]

Mayim Bialik Addresses Backlash over New York Times Harvey Weinstein Op-ed
by David Canfield
Oct. 16, 2017


Mayim Bialik has expressed “regret” for the reaction to her controversial New York Times op-ed from last week about Harvey Weinstein, and said she is “deeply, deeply hurt” that some interpreted the essay as blaming victims.

Bialik’s essay, published Friday, featured a discussion of her specific experiences in Hollywood in the wake of the dozens of allegations of sexual assault made against disgraced Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein. (Weinstein has denied any allegation of non-consensual sex.)

"The Big Bang Theory" actress also described the hidden “luxury” of being an “average-looking” person in Hollywood, in terms of not receiving as much attention from men.





Bialik drew widespread criticism on social media after the piece went up. Many read it as blaming women for men’s abusive behavior — at one point, Bialik wrote that she doesn’t act “flirtatiously with men as a policy” — and indicating that sexual predators will more often leave women who do not dress in revealing clothing alone.

Bialik attempted to clarify her essay in a statement on Sunday, noting she’s a supporter of women while also arguing people were being “vicious” as they “twisted” her words.





On Monday, however, Bialik struck a more regretful tone in a Facebook Live interview for the New York Times op-ed section.

“There is no way to avoid being the victim of assault by what you wear or the way you behave,” she said in the video’s opening minutes. “I really do regret that this became what it became, because literally, I was trying to speak about a very specific experience I’ve had in a very specific industry. I was not looking to speak about assault and rape in general. The only people who are responsible for their behavior and assault are the predators who are committing those horrendous acts.”





Bialik then discussed her own personal brand of feminism, which includes “loving being a domestic person.” She described herself as a “bleeding heart liberal” who is also a “social conservative,” which she acknowledged many find difficult to square.


“For me, I feel protected in my industry more when I keep parts of me private than if I did not do that,” she said. “That may not be true for all women — I’m not saying that makes me immune to abuse or assault.”





Bialik did argue in her New York Times essay that her appearance had helped her avoid powerful men.

“As a proud feminist with little desire to diet, get plastic surgery or hire a personal trainer, I have almost no personal experience with men asking me to meetings in their hotel rooms,” she wrote.

“Those of us in Hollywood who don’t represent an impossible standard of beauty have the ‘luxury’ of being overlooked and, in many cases, ignored by men in power unless we can make them money.”



She also concluded by connecting her experiences to the larger conversation surrounding harassment and assault:

“Nothing — absolutely nothing — excuses men for assaulting or abusing women. But we can’t be naïve about the culture we live in.”





Near the end of her Facebook Live interview, Bialik apologized for perhaps trying to start a conversation in too limiting a space.

“I do really want to assert that I’m excited and I’m motivated to be part of a larger conversation,” she said. “If this was not the way to do it in these 900 words, I do apologize for that.”

http://ew.com/news/2017/10/16/mayim-...p-ed-backlash/

[Mr. Television]

She had nothing to apologize for. Sometimes I hate social media. It becomes a mob mentality sometimes.

[JamesG]

Mayim Bialik Apologizes Again for New York Times Harvey Weinstein Op-ed
by Maureen Lee Lenker
Oct. 18, 2017


Mayim Bialik has apologized once again for her recent New York Times op-ed about sexual misconduct in Hollywood and the allegations against disgraced producer Harvey Weinstein.

She tweeted a statement on Wednesday:

I want to address my op-ed piece in the NY Times, and the reaction to it. Let me say clearly and explicitly that I am very sorry. What you wear and how you behave does not provide any protection from assault, nor does the way you dress or act in any way make you responsible for being assaulted; you are never responsible for being assaulted.

I applaud the bravery of the women who have come forward. I applaud these women as we seek out and demand accountability from the only ones responsible for assault and rape; the people who perpetrate these heinous crimes. I am motivated and driven to work hard to empower them.

I am truly sorry for causing so much pain and I hope you can all forgive me.

http://ew.com/tv/2017/10/18/mayim-bi...instein-op-ed/