99's REAL NAME - THE MYSTERY SOLVED

[chipsaugratin]

(I had promised to post this for September 18. Missed it by that much!)

After 51 years (for me), I have finally figured out 99’s name.

Let me say, first, that I have no idea about her birth surname. There was just not enough evidence.

Her last name is now obviously SMART. 99’s good friend, Barbara Feldon, has kept her married name even now about 50 years after her divorce. 99 followed that example, especially as she and 86 have stayed together happily for all these years. As well, having grown up in a different era, 99 adopted and kept her husband’s surname as her own after marriage. (She was often introduced as Mrs. Smart or Mrs. Maxwell Smart.)

To have figured out 99’s first name, I am obliged to acknowledge the work of Siegfried in figuring it out first and allowing me to follow the clues.
In early episodes, Siegfried might have addressed 99 simply as “Missy” or “Miss Ninety-Nine.” However, you will recall that, in the episode “The Mysterious Dr. T,” the young inventor decided to pick the side of niceness and goodness and CONTROL over the side of KAOS and evil and rottenness because of 99. Despite his youth, Dr. T was perceptive enough to recognize 99 as the knockout she is.

Having been defeated because of 99, Siegfried, KAOS’ Vice-President of Public Relations and Terror, and of Treason, and the greatest enemy and arch-nemesis of 86 and 99, decided to use the formidable KAOS apparatus and the extensive intelligence resources available to him to ferret out the secret of 99. The effort bore fruit.

At their next encounter Siegfried blatantly revealed to 99 that he knew her first name, in the presence of 86, but Max failed to catch on. Naturally, 99 is perfectly aware that her first name has been discovered, but does not openly display alarm or recognition, to protect her security and that of Max. In reviewing the footage from “Spy, Spy, Birdie,” the first time it happened, 99 gives away nothing, but she is still so stunned and angered by Siegfried’s disclosure of her first name that she knocked out Shtarker with 1 punch.

Siegfried again called 99 by name in “Snoopy Smart vs. The Red Baron” and “Schwartz’s Island,” but 86 still didn’t catch on. No longer being unprepared, 99 played it cool and managed to not punch anyone out on those 2 occasions.

Siegfried used her name twice in the “Ice Station Siegfried” episode. Of course, 99 worked that case with CIA Agent Quigley, to whom the reference meant nothing.

Don’t take my word for it, review the videos from those 4 episodes for yourself, and you will clearly hear Siegfried say 99’s first name: COOKIE.

You may object that Siegfried is just using a meaningless generic, throwaway, like “buddy” or “pal.” Balderdash, I say! Siegfried does nothing without a purpose, a lesson he teaches repeatedly whenever he tells Shtarker: “This is KAOS, we don’t (insert stupid noise) here!” Now maybe his purpose was to throw 99 off balance, perhaps make her fear her identity being exposed, force her to make a mistake, or gain some other advantage. Naturally it doesn’t work, because 99 is too composed and too good an agent – the best damn female spy in the world!

Combining 99’s married name with her first name illustrates what the fans of “Get Smart” have understood perfectly for 52 years:

99 is a really….. SMART, COOKIE.

Would you believe that this is the definitive and authoritative answer to the mystery of 99’s real name?

Would you believe that it is a very elaborate and highly logical, but wildly speculative and utterly unconfirmed theory about 99’s real name?

Would you believe that I have WAY too much time on my hands?

[caladon]

Works for me; Cookie it is.

[CosmicCharlie]

chipsaugratin sure can write !