A Honeymooners Father's Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Alice & Trixie arrive at their seats at Yankee stadium.)

Trixie: "Alice, this was a great idea of yours. Not only did you give your dad tickets to see their team the Boston Red Sox against the Yankees, you got a ticket for your mother."

Alice: "Yes. I did. Ralph was steamed at me last night for saying that he has to spend the day with my Dad on Father's Day. He also got steamed that he is a fan of the Red Sox."

(Ralph & Ed come by. Ralph is not pleased.)

Ralph: "Alice, when is your BUM father and your BUM mother coming? They are late. They have been in the bathroom for 20 minutes."

Alice: "Ralph, I wasn't complaining when you spend 30 minutes going to the bathroom after you ate that pizza and hamburger."

Ed: "That is a shock Ralph. Usually, you eat more than that."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!"

(Alice's parents arrive.)

Alice's Mom: "Hi Sonny boy!"

Alice's Dad: "I soooo hope the Red Sox win and not those Yankees. Alice, I want to thank you for that tie you gave me for Father's Day. That was a great gift."

Alice: "Thank you."

Ralph (sarcastically): "I hope you like it."

Alice's Mom: "Ralph, where is the ten course meal that you are going to eat during the game?"

Ed: "Ten course meal. Ha ha ha."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!"

Alice's Dad: "Ralph, I heard that you ordered for your Dad several pieces of food from Ohama stakes."

Alice's Mom: "And you didn't eat them Ralph?"

(Ralph slams his fist down.)

(Later on in the game, the Yankees hit a home run. Everyone gets up to grab it. Ralph allows Alice's Dad to get it.)

Ralph: "Hey, it's Father's Day. I hope you enjoy it especially since your favorite Red Sox player hit it."

Alice's Dad: "Thank you Ralph. That was nice."

Alice's Mom: "I agree."

Ralph: "My Dad always treated me good. He taught me how to play baseball and basketball. He took me to ball games."

Ed: "Mine did too. He took me down the sewer once when I was a kid so I can learn how to swim during high tides."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Trixie: "I have fond memories of my Dad taking me to school."

Ralph: "I hope you have a great Father's Day. Father's Day is a magical day."

(Everyone gets up and sings about Father's Day is a magical day.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. I just want to wish all the fathers out there, a Happy Father's Day."

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach crowds are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)