Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Finger Man" & "Santa & The Bookies" ('53):

[Frank Gannucci]

Honeymooners Episode Reviews: "Finger Man" & "Santa & The Bookies" ('53):

Episode #65 (Syndicated episode #84)
TV: Attached to "Double Anniversary."
VCR: Attached to "Hair-Raising Tale" (On some tapes, it is attached to "Champagne and Caviar".)
DVD: Attached to "Champagne and Caviar", "New Year's Eve Party" & "Two-Family Car." On the Lost Episodes DVD box set, it is attached to “Santa & The Bookies” (’53), “Xmas Party” (’53), “New Year’s Eve Party”, “This Is Your Life” & “Cottage For Sale.”
Air Date: Sat. 11/28/53

I found out that this episode is attached to two different tapes when I went to my friend's house and he has a tape that has "Finger Man" and "Champaign and Caviar" on it. It was a tape that of course you could have bought in a video store, not one that was recorded by one person if you know what I mean.

Ed comes in and says he is thinking about getting a Christmas present for Ralph. It is a book on reducing. Oh boy! Alice says that is not a good gift for Ralph. Ralph comes home and tells the good news. He trapped a killer named "Bullets" Durgom. Alice: "You trapped a killer? Weren't you scared?" Ed: "Any person who drives a bus in New York traffic ain't afraid of nothing."

The policemen come by along with reporters. Ed asks the police chief: "Are those Dick Tracy stories taken from real police files?" Ralph: "Why are you bothering him asking questions like that for? Of course they are." Typical Ralph. Ralph and the police chief's picture gets taken when all of a sudden, there's news that "Bullets" has escaped. And he is out to get whoever put the finger on him. D'oh! Not something Ralph wants to hear.

The policeman and reporters leave. Everyone gets worried about Ralph's safety. Ed: "He isn't going to come up here and kill you. He's going to wait in the night and see you at night and then he will kill you." Ralph: "Will you leave me alone?" Alice says that Ralph should go outside and ask a policeman for some help. He does but comes back a few seconds later saying: "Are you nuts? Sending me outside knowing that I could get killed." Ed says that Ralph should hide out in his Uncle's place in New Jersey. He will never find him there because Ed's been down there a few times and he couldn't find his Uncle's place himself. Ed also suggests that he will get his sailor's costume. He will never recognize him in that. He leaves.

A knock is heard. Ralph wants to hide. It's the policemen. They hatch a plan. Ralph will wait in the kitchen and the policemen and Alice will hide in the bedroom and they will catch "Bullets" when Ralph says: "Bullets, it's you.” They say if they try to catch "Bullets" outside, an innocent bystander might get hurt. Ralph waits in the kitchen and the policemen and Alice wait in the bedroom. When "Bullets" arrives, Ralph gets tongue-tied. Ed comes in and yells: "BULLETS, IT'S YOU." The policemen nab "Bullets." and leave. Ed also leaves. Ralph is so happy because everyone thinks that he helped capture "Bullets" and not Ed. Alice says that she could have sworn that she heard Ed's voice say: "Bullets, it's you." Ralph lies to Alice, saying the reason why he didn't say it because of "Bullets" was nervous and that if he did say it, he would be killed. Ralph: "If I was killed, how would you fare without me?" Ralph and Alice kiss and hug.

Episode #66
TV: Attached to “Honeymooners Christmas Party” (’53 version)
VCR: Attached to "Game Called On Account of Marriage." On the VHS/DVD version of “Seasons Greetings From The Honeymooners”, it was attached to “Honeymooners Christmas Party” (’53 version)
DVD: Attached to "Game Called On Account of Marriage", "Brother-in-Law" & "Peacemaker." On the Lost Episodes DVD Box Set it is attached to “Finger Man”, “Honeymooners Xmas Party” (’53 version), “New Year’s Eve Party”, “This Is Your Life” & “Cottage For Sale.”
Air Date: Sat. 12/12/53

This episode was part of the TV version “Seasons Greetings From The Honeymooners” that is different from the home video version.

Alice is busy knitting clothes for some baby. Trixie comes in and here Alice reveals her temporary job she has just so she can save enough money for Christmas. She won't tell Ralph because Ralph will make her quit no matter how hard the job is. It's the principle of the thing to him. She did and said the same exact thing in "Expectant Father" too. Alice hurts her back so Trixie says she will make sure Alice go sees a doctor.

Ralph comes home and is upset that he has to have tuna fish for the fifth time. He wanders why that he couldn't have a hot meal. He and Alice have an argument about this causing Alice to go into the bedroom. Ed comes in Alice is knitting baby clothes to make some extra money for Christmas. Norton comes down. Ed: "Hey Ralph, what are all those cats doing outside your front door?" Ralph gets more upset that he has to have tuna fish. Ed asks Ralph if he can hide Trixie's Christmas present in the Kramden's apartment, Ralph says yes and sticks the present in the bureau drawer -- where Alice has hidden the baby clothes. A moment later, when Norton tells Ralph that Trixie has made a doctor's appointment for Alice, Ralph is sure that Alice is pregnant. Ed: "This is almost as good as when you got 300 points in bowling." Now Ralph is remorseful for yelling at Alice. He decides he has to make some more money in a hurry so that his future son can go to college. He needs so extra money for the kid. Ed: "I have some money that is owed to me and when I get it, it's just as good as yours." Ralph: "You're a good pal Norton. Who owes you?" Ed: "You do." Gee, that really helps Ralph. Ralph he answers a newspaper ad for a Santa Claus job but not before Ed finds some jobs that Ralph can do to earn extra money for the kid. One of them is in South America. Ralph says to forget about that job because he doesn't want to go to South America. Ed finally finds a job for Ralph, a street Santa. Alice comes in and says that Ralph was right he deserves a hot meal. Ralph is acting all nice because he thinks that Alice is pregnant. Alice doesn't know what to make of it. She leaves and then so does Ed. After Ed leaves, he brings in the cats that were near Ralph's front door, one of them climbs out of Ed's hands. D'Oh! Not something that was in the script.

The next day Ralph goes to apply for the job. What he doesn't know is that the guys who placed the ad are bookmakers and that they plan to use the Santa to collect bets. They reveal themselves to Ralph as Mr. Smith and Mr. Smith. Ralph gets hired and asks Ed if he can be hired but he warns them that he is not as smart as he is. With that, Ed is hired. Around 6pm that night, Ralph and Ed begin their first day on the job. Ed is wearing a loud elf uniform. Ed is recognized by some kids as Space Hopper. Ha! After one person drops in their slip, Ralph reads it and still he doesn't know it's a bet for a horse in a race. A mother and a kid come by. She asks "Santa" that if he doesn't go to bed when they get home, will he put a lump of coal in his stocking. "Santa" says: "Yes." So the kid kicks Ralph. They leave. Either that kid and his mother live VERY far away or that mother forces her kid to go to bed VERY early. One drunken person comes by, takes one look at them and says that he will never drink as long as he lives. One other person comes by and accidentally knocks over the bowl. That was also not in the script, so Jackie covers it up by saying: "The dollar is going down every day." Another person comes by and puts his money in the pot. Ralph says he will get that back many fold. Man: "I should. It's 20 to 1." Ed: "What are you talking about? It's half-past six." He leaves. An old lady comes by. When she puts down her bet with the money, Ralph says that she doesn't have to do that. Lady: "I want 'Rocking Chair' for $2." Ralph still doesn't know what she meant. A policeman comes by and puts his money in (thinking that what Ralph and Ed are dong something good.) When Ed says to the police officer to put in his slip (everyone else put in their slips). The policeman sees what's really going on and sends Ralph and Ed to jail, thinking that they are the bookies they are looking for.

In jail, Ralph is mad at Ed. He is thinking that this is the end of life for him. Ralph explains to the police officer that his wife is pregnant. Alice comes by and Ralph tells her that he was making extra money for their future baby. Alice says that she is not pregnant. Now Ralph and Ed are in bigger trouble. When Ed says that the two Mr. Smiths are going to come by their street corner and collect the money soon, Ralph hatches a plan so the police can catch the real bad guys. It works.

It looks like Ralph will have a Merry Christmas after all. But when he holds out his hand, a woman comes by and drops money in his hand. A policeman catches him and sends Ralph off to jail as the opening of the "Dragnet" theme song plays.

Credit I think goes to (the original) Bill's 'Mooners Archives, eBay.com, tv.com, Honeymooners Lost Episodes Book, tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, Honeymooners Lost Episodes DVD booklet, Wikipedia.org, Yahoo Groups You're A Riot! & Amazon.com.

[Frank Gannucci]

Bump