Who is Bonnie's sponsor? Plus some observations.

[Yong Fang]

A little bit of personal history, back in the 1990's I had a bad drug habit to crack cocaine which got way, way out of control. Because of this, I went to several rehabs to get "clean" from the drug. Because of this, I went to many, many Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Literally, probably close to one thousand of them........

In AA, people are to get a sponsor. This person is someone with several years sobriety or clean time which guides someone new in "recovery" the path and guides that person through the 12 Steps. Usually we stay in contact with this person almost everyday. Now the sponsor never chases the "sponsee" perse, but if they assume the role as sponsor are supposed to accept the call of a sponsee anytime day or night as long as the sponsee is sober, even if it the middle of the freaking night. If I call my sponsor at 2 AM and say I am ready to go out and smoke a rock, get drunk or jump off a ledge, the sponsor duty is to listen and give suggestions (not advice). Saying "I want to get drunk!" to a sponsor is the right move. Supposedly just saying as a sponsee that they are that close to relapse and called the sponsor instead of using is the right thing to do, and any sponsor who takes the reasonable responsibility of being one takes that call. That how it works.

In the show, Marjorie is Christy's sponsor. Christy sponsors Jill (Jaime Pressley), which made Majorie Jill's "grand-sponsor". But, who is Bonnie's sponsor? Bonnie respects Majorie, but disagrees with her, because of the stridently of the program which causes a clash in personalities. Does Bonnie have a sponsor? Bonnie seems to be the so called "dry drunk" as in someone who is sober but is more or less doing it on her own without anyone's help. You could say Christie might be her sponsor, but this is really looked down upon and does not hold up because of their intimate relationship (being mother and daughter with issues). Dunno but probably Wendy is also Majorie's sponsor.

Lastly, the show is realistic, BUT there is are some flaws. One big thing and this is important, in a meeting, there is ZERO CROSS TALK. When someone is speaking, no one is allowed to cut in. The other members will call this out. This is a violation and not done. In the show, it provides some hilarity but not realistic. In AA clubs there are two types of meetings, regular meetings where people sit in a circle or group or speaker meetings, which are shown a lot in the show. Usually speaker meetings are given to people who have some long term sobriety. Last weeks show with Bradley Whitford with his broke nose after getting his ass kicked by everyone in a speaker meeting just doesn't happen. These people are newbies who need to be quiet and learn. Many times in meetings I have gone to, a newbie in the program is not allowed to speak unless they bring up a topic. Many of these groups will even say to bring up early sobriety issues to their sponsor, because this is what the sponsor is for.

But for a mother/daughter cross talking crew would get both thrown out after repeated violations. Seems harsh to those not in the culture of 12 Steps but this is the way it is. Groups are autonomous, so some groups allow stuff others don't. I will say some older guys lectured me outside an AA meeting when I talked about smoking crack.....because this is AA. Never made much sense to me because this should be an all encompassing program. I went to a few Narcotics Anonymous meetings (and cocaine is not a narcotic) but those folks were really weird (and had their own "Big Book" which I referred to as the New Testement).

But back to the show, who is Bonnie's sponsor? Majorie is a good example of a "true believer" who thinks of addiction as a disease. I do not believe that addiction is a disease, but a strong force of habit caused mainly by psychological trauma. So this puts me outside of AA. To try to end this too long post, AA is not all bad. To me, I separate it. AA gives great to fantastic suggestions on how to live life and exist with other people. Live and let live. Forgiveness, because resentments and anger makes us sick. To understand we cannot change other people. But AA gets off track when talking of "spirituality" (which I find hokum bull***** and in the show Bonnie dislikes Majorie for the same reason) and the religiosity of a higher power. Total foolishness.

Chime in, if you are a friend of Bill W. I will give my opinion on him if this turns into a thread and would like a healthy debate. Am I sober? Nope. I am drinking tonight. I live overseas and will visit my parents for a month who will not allow me to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes or smoke marijuana. I will be the dry drunk. Peace. P.S. This is one of the best shows on television now. It really is. Chuck Lorre hit a home run with this show. Double Peace.