A Honeymooners Christmas Eve: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 12-21-2016, 07:48 AM

A Honeymooners Christmas Eve:

(Ralph & Ed are at a Walmart store on Christmas Eve. They are waiting in line with a bunch of other people. They are in front.)

Ralph: “Boy, is it cold outside. The wives thought that we were nuts waiting until the last minute to get Christmas gifts.”

Ed: “Yeah. We told them that we have jam-packed schedules. We go bowling, shoot pool, go to the Raccoon Lodge, do more bowling, shoot more pool, watch TV, do our jobs etc.”

Ralph: “Yeah, those wives of ours have it easy. They have nothing to do all day long except make dinner, clean the floors, clean the apartment, pay the bills etc.”

Man: “The store manager is opening the doors.”

(The manager does.)

Man (yells): “CHARGE!”

(Ralph & Ed get trampled.)

Ralph (yells): “OWWWW! WATCH WHERE YOU BUMS ARE GOING.”

Ed (yells): “OW! THEY MUST BE MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS TO GET OVER YOUR FAT STOMACH RALPH.”

Ralph (yells): “OW! YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT NORTON! TAKE IT EASY!”

(After five minutes, Ralph & Ed get up. They are a mess.)

Ralph: “So much for my claim that people are polite around the holidays.”

Ed: “Yeah. Some people are such bullies.”

(They get lots and lots and lots of gifts.)

Ed: “Ralph, you are getting Alice a bathing suit?”

Ralph: “Oh yeah. Just so we can spend two glorious weeks in that beautiful action city, Miami Beach.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ed: “Oh, I guess you should get ONE earplug.”

Ralph: “ONE earplug?”

Ed: “Yeah, that’s all you need. When you swim, only ONE ear is going to be in the water.”

Ralph: “You are ready for Bellevue pal.”

Ed: “Hey look, this is my department that Trixie is going to get the most gifts for me. It is a department that is the most popular department for kids in a department store.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

(After spending more than 12 hours in the store, Ralph & Ed check out.)

Ed: “Hey Ralph, lets get some snacks for us to eat on the way home.”

Ralph: “Sure.”

(They do.)

Ralph: “Let’s leave Norton.”

(They go to the doors. They are locked in. They see that all the managers have left for the night.)

Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE! NOW, WE ARE LOCKED OUT. OUR CELL PHONES ARE DEAD AND WE GOT TOLD THAT ALL THE PHONE LINES ARE DEAD.”

Ed (yells): “LET’S BE CALM! MAYBE CHRISTMAS WILL GET RECHEDULED AT THE LAST MINUTE UNTIL DECMEBER 26TH.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

(To be continued.)

12-21-2016, 07:48 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,091	A Honeymooners Christmas Eve: A Honeymooners Christmas Eve: (Ralph & Ed are at a Walmart store on Christmas Eve. They are waiting in line with a bunch of other people. They are in front.) Ralph: “Boy, is it cold outside. The wives thought that we were nuts waiting until the last minute to get Christmas gifts.” Ed: “Yeah. We told them that we have jam-packed schedules. We go bowling, shoot pool, go to the Raccoon Lodge, do more bowling, shoot more pool, watch TV, do our jobs etc.” Ralph: “Yeah, those wives of ours have it easy. They have nothing to do all day long except make dinner, clean the floors, clean the apartment, pay the bills etc.” Man: “The store manager is opening the doors.” (The manager does.) Man (yells): “CHARGE!” (Ralph & Ed get trampled.) Ralph (yells): “OWWWW! WATCH WHERE YOU BUMS ARE GOING.” Ed (yells): “OW! THEY MUST BE MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS TO GET OVER YOUR FAT STOMACH RALPH.” Ralph (yells): “OW! YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT NORTON! TAKE IT EASY!” (After five minutes, Ralph & Ed get up. They are a mess.) Ralph: “So much for my claim that people are polite around the holidays.” Ed: “Yeah. Some people are such bullies.” (They get lots and lots and lots of gifts.) Ed: “Ralph, you are getting Alice a bathing suit?” Ralph: “Oh yeah. Just so we can spend two glorious weeks in that beautiful action city, Miami Beach.” (Crowd cheers.) Ed: “Oh, I guess you should get ONE earplug.” Ralph: “ONE earplug?” Ed: “Yeah, that’s all you need. When you swim, only ONE ear is going to be in the water.” Ralph: “You are ready for Bellevue pal.” Ed: “Hey look, this is my department that Trixie is going to get the most gifts for me. It is a department that is the most popular department for kids in a department store.” (Ralph rolls his eyes.) (After spending more than 12 hours in the store, Ralph & Ed check out.) Ed: “Hey Ralph, lets get some snacks for us to eat on the way home.” Ralph: “Sure.” (They do.) Ralph: “Let’s leave Norton.” (They go to the doors. They are locked in. They see that all the managers have left for the night.) Ralph (yells): “YOU STUPID STUPE! NOW, WE ARE LOCKED OUT. OUR CELL PHONES ARE DEAD AND WE GOT TOLD THAT ALL THE PHONE LINES ARE DEAD.” Ed (yells): “LET’S BE CALM! MAYBE CHRISTMAS WILL GET RECHEDULED AT THE LAST MINUTE UNTIL DECMEBER 26TH.” (Ralph rolls his eyes.) (To be continued.)