Through the Tough Times~a new FF by the one and only...ME!

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Through the Tough Times
By Katie B

Sitting in her doctor’s office, she was impatiently awaiting the news that was so important it had to be told in person and as soon as possible.

“Good to see you again.” Dr. Sinclair said to her. He looked as he always does, dress pants, a nice shirt, tie, and his white coat.

“Same to you, now what was so important that you needed to see me about?”

“Well Ms. Exstead, I unfortunately found that you have leukemia, this is a very aggressive form of leukemia. I am pretty much saying that your cancer will progress very quickly and we should start chemo soon. I have a room reserved for you at Holy Cross Hospital. Get together some of your personal belongings you’ll need.”

Jinny Exstead was in total shock, sure…they other day when she came she had assumed it was just the flu or a common cold, they both had the exact same symptoms. But the symptoms had been with her for a few weeks, and she couldn’t seem to kick them. Now it all made sense to her, now she understood the bruises, why she was always tired and never feeling quite up to par. She always assumed the bruises were from the job, being an inspector; she may have gotten some. But now being tired all the time, and never feeling entirely great made sense. It couldn’t be a cold or the flu; she would have been able to get over that within a week, not two or three.

“I don’t believe you, I want a second opinion.” Jinny lashed out at him, as though he had lied to her or betrayed her.

“There will be plenty of second opinions at the hospital, but a bone marrow aspiration will confirm it all.”

“You will still be my doctor, right?” Noticing that his expression quickly changed, she came back, “Are you saying that someone I do not know is going to go prodding and poking me with needles? No, no, no, not happening…good try.”

“Jinny, you’ll have a great oncologist, he won’t hurt you in anyway. Trust me, he and I are good friends.”

“No, no, no, no. I will not go through with this, I don’t buy it; I don’t have cancer. I am a healthy person; I quit drinking. I can’t have cancer.”

“Jinny, notify your friend’s and family, tell them what’s happening. They won’t let you go through this alone. And I do know that when you talk like you don’t have it, and you don’t believe me, you’re denying, saying you don’t have it…so it cannot be true. But it is, and now it will be your chance to face reality.”

“I’ve faced reality already…I’m a cop, remember? Someone stalked me once…I faced my reality already, I could have died then, I didn’t…I’m not facing it all again.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
do you guys like this? should I write more?

[Warm & Fuzzy]

“Are you saying that someone I do not know is going to go prodding and poking me with needles? No, no, no, not happening…good try.”

LOL. That's typical Jinny.


Anyhow, Jinny and leukemia. I wanna know what'll happen when she tells her family...and Mag. -gasp-

Keep on going! It's great!

[consentida]

ohh..this is good..post more!!!

[Ewan's My Man]

This is absolutely awesome!!! Great start!!! Post more soon!! You're a great writer!!

[Swimfan85]

add more soon this is awesome!!!!!!

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Jinny got up and told Dr. Sinclair, “Fine, there’s no denying this to anyone, not myself, not you, not my friends and family, no one. I’m going to go home, get some stuff, tell my dad and friends and go strait to the hospital. Okay?”

“Fine Jinny, I’ll call them in 1 hour to see that you’ve checked in. If you have I’ll come by to see you. Your oncologist will be Dr. Freeze; he’s a very nice man. I’ll be by when he explains procedures to you. Are you comfortable with all of this?”

“No, not really…when you get to one man that I don’t know sticking me like a pin cushion…well, I really don’t feel all that comfortable.” Jinny was going into one of those sarcastic things again, where she won’t say anything besides sarcastic remarks, “I’m not plump and red like those tomatoes that our mothers used to stick pins in, am I?”

“No Jinny, you’re-“

“I really don’t feel like being treated like one!”

“Jinny, sit down and cool off.” He told her, politely. People who were recently diagnosed with cancer often did this. They want their normal doctor to follow them through, administer their treatments. They don’t want to switch over to someone they don’t know or trust. They want things to be normal again.

“I’ll go get my stuff, tell my dad and friends and go strait to the hospital.” Jinny said walking out the door, all of this was too hard to handle.

At the division, Magda noticed that Jinny wasn’t there, along with everyone else…she wasn’t usually late after she quit drinking, she was almost always on time, “Hey, CD! Do you know where Jinny is…she’s not usually late, now that she’s stopped drinking?”

“Nope, no clue.”

When Jinny walked into her dad’s house, she ran up the stairs to her room. She grabbed a bag and started stuffing it full of stuff. She grabbed a photo; it was of her mother, her father, her older brother, and Casey…the youngest of them all. Tears filled Jinny’s eyes, how was she supposed to survive cancer without her mom, she never grew out of calling her mommy…it was never mom, always mommy. As a lump rose in her throat she placed the photo in her bag. If her mom couldn’t be there in body…she could always be there in spirit. She grabbed one other photo; it was of Magda and herself. The picture was fairly recent; it was probably taken a few months before. Jinny knew Magda was still alive, but when she had to work or be with Ben, Magda’s picture could be there with her, for if she ever just needed to cry.

Jinny wiped her eyes and stepped into the hall, “DAD!”

John Sr. came toward his daughter, “Jinny, why aren’t’ you at work? Do you feel all right? Is something wrong?”

“Dad, I went to the doctor this morning, right?”

“Yes…”

“And the doctor found that I have cancer, it’s a progressive form of leukemia. I still need to call Magda and everyone else, but I figured you could call John Jr. and Casey for me. It’ll be hard enough to tell Magda, but I can’t bear to give Case the news. He’s been through so much crap, from John and you, both of you need to learn to give it up, at least he knows who he is. Now just make up and let it be with him, alright?”

“Yes, but are you positive it’s cancer?”

“Yes Dad, I am.” Jinny stopped to wipe away the tears again; “I’ve got to go call Magda so she can alert Cap, CD, Nate, and Raina. After that will you give me a ride to the hospital?”

“Yes.”

Jinny ran down the stairs with her bag in hand. She picked up the phone and dialed Mag’s work number,

“Inspector Ramirez.”

“Magda,” In a weak and shaky voice, Jinny continued before Mag and the chance to ask what’s wrong, “it’s Jinny, and I have some really bad news. I was diagnosed with an aggressive and quick spreading form of leukemia. I’m going to be at Holy Cross Hospital and I need you to inform everyone there. If anyone wants to see me, they can. But I needed to let you know.”

“Jinny, are you all right?” Magda was obviously very worried about her; CD, Nate, Cap, and Raina all huddled around her desk because of the fear in her voice and with Jinny’s name mentioned.

“I’ll be okay, I just was kind of wondering if you would come and just sit with me…” Jinny’s voice trailed off.

“I’ll be there in thirty to forty minutes okay?”

”Okay.”

They both said good bye and everyone just stared at Mag, “Guys…I’m afraid I have some bad news…..”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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[Ewan's My Man]

This rox!! Post more soon!!!

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“Magda, what is it?” CD asked, there was horror in Mag’s voice, leading on to something being terribly wrong.

“Jinny was, well, she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia, and it progresses quickly. She’s at Holy Cross Hospital, and I promised to be there in thirty or forty minutes. I was asked to inform you all about that. Does anyone want to come with me? I really don’t want to sit there alone.

“Everyone has the day off…you are just on call. Go with Magda, I’ll be there around lunchtime. If I need any of you I’ll call you. Leave; now…go be with Jinny. She needs us now more than I think she’ll have ever needed us.”

John Sr. got Jinny into the car and to the hospital, she walked up to the front desk, “Hi, my names Jinny Exstead and I need to check in.”

“E…” The vibrant young lady prompted her.

“E-X-S-T-E-A-D”

“Ah, yes, room 245-oncology floor. When you get there, go to the desk in that area. A nurse will help you find your room and get you settled.” The young lady smiled at Jinny and her father.

Jinny gave a half smile back and replied with a quick, “Thanks.” Then she quickly shuffled toward the elevator. When she reached the oncology floor she immediately saw a desk. She walked over there and looked at the lady. “Hi, my name’s Jinny Exstead, E-X-S-T-E-A-D, and I believe I am supposed to be in room 245.

“Yes, you are right. I’ll get a nurse to take you there.” The lady then turned around, “Hey, Jill…this young lady needs to go to room 245. Your name is on her file, so I’m assuming you can take her.”

“Yeah.”

Jill walked to Jinny, “So, your name is…”

“Jinny Exstead.”

”Please follow me Jinny, I’m going to be your nurse during the day shifts, if you need anything feel free to get me. I know that your diagnosis will first be quite shocking, but you’ll eventually come to terms with it.”

Jinny just kind of followed her, not saying anything.

“Here we are, 245. You will have a roommate, her name is Kelsey, but she usually keeps to herself, that’s nothing you’ll have to worry about.”

“Thanks.” Jinny replied.

“You can change into your own pajamas or I can get you a hospital gown, your choice.”

”I’ll wear my own pajamas.”

“Fine by me, if you need anything you can either press this button or just see if I’m in the hall. I’ll check in on you later.” Jill flashed a quick smile; she had perfect teeth, was tall with black hair and was very skinny.

Jinny changed and her father helped her set up some photographs and get her settled into her own bed. He left the room to call Magda and tell her Jinny’s room number. While Jinny was alone, she took the chance to analyze her life, was it all worth it to go through this hospital stay and go through chemotherapy to attempt to conquer cancer, when it may not work at all and it would have been a total waste of her last days on this earth. She knew there had to be a reason that she had cancer, sure she believed in God, and she knew that he always had reasons. But she never regularly attended church. Often nights she would find herself praying for some reason or another, but she never attended church, she found no reason in it.

Jinny Exstead thought she had her life in order, she had stopped drinking, fixed her priorities, spent a lot of time with her family, especially Casey, of whom John Sr. was calling at the moment, she spent more time doing her best on the job, and even went to Magda and said she was sorry for not always being there for her.

Jinny’s thoughts were interrupted when Magda, CD, Nate, and Raina all came through the door. Magda looked as if she were about to die, she had the worst look of horror struck across her face. Not to mention CD, Nat and Raina…CD was pale, she just looked at Jinny, as if wanting to say something, but not sure what. Nate just had a look of sympathy and Raina, well it was sympathy and horror mixed together. No one knew what was happening and why, but they all wanted to help Jinny, to the end.

“Jinny, why’d this happen to you?” Magda asked her in tears, she was scared for her best friend; she didn’t want to loose her. She couldn’t ever remember herself being so fearful.

“Magda, I don’t know, but don’t dwell on it. All I want to do right now is focus on getting better. Not on why’d it happen to me.” At that point Jinny broke into the tears that should have come out a long time ago. Magda just ran to her and hugged her, whispering the sweetest things to her, as you’d to a child who was scared of the thunderstorm outside, or worried that their dog might die. Only this was different, this time it wasn’t Ben, it was Jinny. Her best friend and partner, someone who was like a sister to her. This time she was telling an adult not to be frightened, that everything would be okay. This time, it was Jinny crying on her shoulder. This was the girl who almost hated her for organizing an intervention because she was worried. This was that girl, who always wore a leather jacket, but had a heart the size of Texas to go off of. This was that girl…Magda went on and on thinking about how this wasn’t a child she was comforting, this was that girl…this was Jinny.
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[sue z q]

OMG, this is awesome!!!!! I NEED MORE!!!!!!

[consentida]

this is realy good..you should post more!!!

[Ewan's My Man]

This is REALLY good. You haveta post more soon. This is so well-written.

[XoVanillaRain90oX]

OMG! This is awesome, Katie. Post more!!!!!!!!!

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CD, Nate, and Raina all stood back, knowing that the only one who could help Jinny at that point was Magda, and probably Casey. But they all felt bad for Jinny. Cancer was something that they wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even their worst enemy. Now that Jinny had it, they would have to be with her whenever possible, not knowing exactly what she would experience.

Magda was cradling Jinny when Casey and John Jr. walked in the door. Casey ran to Jinny and hugged her while she cried. Jinny didn’t notice Casey and John Jr. being there until she had calmed down enough to know her oncologist and Dr. Sinclair would be there soon.

“Hey Casey, John…”

”Jinny…” Casey started, but wasn’t sure exactly what to say.

“Listen, I’ll be all right, I just need my family and friends here now. I’m,” Jinny stopped, not sure if she should reveal the feeling that was bottled up inside her, she’d never felt this way before, except once or twice. She didn’t ever tell anyone this feeling when she felt it.

“Your what Jin?” CD asked her, she figured Jinny would say scared or frightened, it would probably be the most common feeling among cancer patients.

“I’m scared and confused.” Jinny relayed as calmly as possible, telling someone she was scared was something she hadn’t really done since she was a child. But it wasn’t this kind of scared; it was different in some way, some way she didn’t know how.

“Jinny, that’s expected, you’ve just been diagnosed with a life threatening disease. Don’t go around keeping your feelings bottled up inside like you usually do.” Magda spoke to her while rubbing her back like she did for Benjamin when he was sick.

The oncologist and Jinny’s regular doctor walked through the door, “Are all of these people family?” The oncologist asked her.

“That or the equivalent.”

“Fine, do you want them all here right now? This will be the time I explain treatments and side effects. This can be a hard time for anyone being told.”

“Yes I do, they all know how to comfort me and help the through this. I need them now more than ever.”

“Fine. Well, Ms. Exstead, or may I call you Jinny?”

“Jinny is fine.”

“Well, Jinny, I’m Dr. Freeze, and as you already know from your Dr. Sinclair, you have a very aggressive form of leukemia which will progress quickly. We’ll start you on chemotherapy, this is a poisonous drug, and you need to know that. We won’t administer enough to kill you, but to kill the cancer cells. With this comes many side effects, vomiting will occur, you can loose your hair, possibly even won’t be able to have children. You-“

Dr. Freeze was interrupted by Jinny with a, “I won’t be able to have kids? Are you telling me the truth? I may not be married right now, but I know that if I ever am I want children. I think I may have to rethink this whole treatment thing.”

“Jinny, your life should be more important than having children. You could adopt a child or something. Please, just save your own life. Jinny, I wouldn’t make it in this world without you.” Magda was pleading with Jinny to go through treatment.

“Fine, I’ll go through treatment, I want to live, as of now I’m too young to die.”

“Good, now Jinny,” Dr. Freeze continued on his talk that he’d probably given one-hundred times, “You will probably be very tired much of the time, and even think about giving up treatment, but trust me, you’ll be glad once you achieve remission that you went through with it all.”

“Jinny, I’ll come by to see you whenever I can, and if you need to talk to someone I’m here.” Dr. Sinclair told her, “I visit all of my regular patients if they are diagnosed with something like cancer, I know that it will probably be very hard for you, but you’ll make it through fine.”

“Yeah Jinny, you’ve always been a fighter, and we’ll all be here for you whenever you need us. You’re my big sis Jin, and I love you more than anything.” Casey was taking everything in quite well, but everyone in that room, except the doctors, had looks of horror on their faces, and the sound of fear in their voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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[TeddyisMINE!!!!]

Okay,I'm like literally in tears right now.

YOU HAVE GOT 2 MPOST MORE!!!!!!!

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“Now Jinny, we’re going to start the chemo with pills, your medicine will change from week to week until we find a mixture that works for you. As the chemo gets stronger, we may start to use chemo that’s administered through an IV. We will try to wait that out as long as possible. You met Jill, right?” Dr. Freeze was talking to her.

“Yeah, I did.” Jinny replied, she found it hard to talk; her voice was shaky and kind of raspy. Was it all from the fear and shock? She assured herself that was it and let it go.

“Well, she’ll bring in your first dose of meds in a little while. You’ll take the medicine with each meal you have, so three times a day. If you do loose your appetite and stop eating, we will make sure you get your nutrients through and IV, you need to keep up the strength as best you can so that we can get you better, fast.”

“Fine by me. When will I start experiencing the side effects?”

“It depends with every patient, so I can’t tell you for sure.” Dr. Freeze stopped, “You are aware that fighting cancer is as much a medical thing as it is a physical, right?”

“Kind of…”

“In a few days, a therapist will come in to talk to you about fighting your disease mentally. She’ll help you create a picture to focus on thirty minutes a day. I don’t know much about what she does or how she works.”

“Okay…a little strange, but to beat this I’ll try anything!”

“Do you feel comfortable with what’s going to happen to you? Because if you have any questions, I’ll answer them the best I can.”

”What will we do if chemo doesn’t work?”

“I don’t know, we could try different methods to fighting cancer, but we’ll talk about those if the chemotherapy doesn’t work. Okay?”

“Fine.”

“Just remember Jinny, the most important thing is you keep a positive outlook, don’t always look on the negative side with this. It may end up turning out fine. Okay?” Dr. Sinclair knew that Jinny could be quite negative. So he was going to make her be positive over this whole thing.

“Positive outlook…okay, I can do that.”

“Good,” Dr. Freeze and Dr. Sinclair said in unison, “Bye Jinny.” They both said, again in unison. Both of them walked out the door.

Horror came upon Jinny’s face, worse than it had been before, never had she been so scared in her life. But it wasn’t the same fear she’d ever experienced before, “I probably can’t have kids, I may loose my hair, this is impossible. I never dreamt of cancer, I quit drinking, I got my priorities back in order; this shouldn’t happen to me! I don’t understand it!” Jinny started to cry again; Magda went and sat on her bed.

“Jinny, Jinny…listen to me please. Calm down and let me talk to you.” Jinny brought he sobs down so that Magda could speak to her, “This is all going to work out, okay? Everything will be all right. We’ll all be here for you, your dad, Casey, John, CD, Nate, Raina, myself, it’ll all be fine.”

“I want my mommy.” Was all Jinny said, she couldn’t stop referring to her mother as ‘Mommy’. Sometimes it was ‘Mom’, but not usually. Nate grabbed CD’s arm and dragged her out of the room.

“CD, where’s Jinny’s mom, and why does she still refer to her as ‘Mommy’?”

“Nate, her mom died when Jinny was only fourteen; she commit suicide. Jinny started drinking because she thought it was her fault. I don’t think she ever grew out of calling her Mommy.”

”Oh my gosh, this has got to be extra hard on her now.”

“Yeah probably.”

Meanwhile, Magda was still talking to Jinny. Casey had run out of the room because of all of this and he was upset, “Jinny, you know your mom cannot come right now, she’s dead Jinny, but we’ll all be here for you. Please, honey, don’t cry.”

”Yeah Jinny Girl, this’ll all work out, we promise to always be here if you need us.” Her father relayed.
~~~~~~~~~
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