My skit of the Kramdens & Nortons go to Europe again and a note:

[Frank Gannucci]

My skit of the Kramdens & Nortons go to Europe again and a note:

Note: I will be on vacation from Oct. 20-Nov. 5 or 6th. I won't post quotes during the vacation except on Halloween. The episode reviews will also be posted during that time as well as I have them all saved on e-mails.

(Ralph & Ed are packing the limo for the trip.)

Ralph: “Be careful Norton. That is my suitcase.”

Ed: “All right. I will set it down.”

(Ed puts it on Ralph’s foot.)

Ralph (yells): “OWW! WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU?”

Ed: “Sorry Ralph. I just can’t wait to go to Europe again.”

Ralph: “This time we will take a cruise and visit the Holy Land, Italy again, Turkey…”

Ed: “I can’t wait to see Turkey and eat all of their turkeys that they cook over there.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes. Alice & Trixie come down.)

Trixie: “This will be a great trip.”

Alice: “I agree.”

Ralph: “We never saw Turkey before.”

Driver: “What is the first thing you are going to see in Europe?”

Ralph (sings): “When I arrive in Turkey, I am going to explore/the many famous things that Turkey is famous for/I will visit all the smart cafes and have a round of drinks/When I’m in Turkey, I may stop to see the Sphinx.”

Ed, Alice & Trixie: “The Sphinx?”

Ralph (sings): “In Turkey, there is a Sphinx.”

All (sing): “You can see it in Turkey.”

Ralph: “Let’s go.”

(They all board the limo.)

Ralph (yells): “AND AWAY WE GO!”

(They leave.)

(They arrive on the cruise in Turkey. They then cruise around Turkey. As they are approaching Israel, Ralph & Ed go on the dock.)

Ed: “Hey Ralph, I am disappointed.”

Ralph: “Why?”

Ed: “I found out that over here in Turkey, they are not as fond of turkeys as I thought.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "Well, here we are Norton. On the ship's dock. Let's sit down."

(They sit down.)

Ed: "Can you put the blanket on me?"

Ralph: "Sure."

(Ralph does.)

Ralph: "Can you put my blanket on me?"

Ed: "Sure."

(Ed gets up and puts the blanket on Ralph.)

Ed: "Now, do the same thing for me?"

(Ralph starts to, but stops.)

Ralph: "You are not going to get me that easy."

(Ed starts to write a postcard.)

Ed: "'Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Smith: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Nat: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry & Smith. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. Hope things are flowing nicely in the sewer. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry, Nat & Smith but they might be busy giving regards to each..."

Ralph (yells): "STOP THAT!"

(Ralph gets up.)

Ralph: “I am sick Norton. It’s my stomach.”

Ed: “Well, that is a big problem.”

Ralph (yells): “NEVER MIND THAT.”

Ed: "Come on Ralph. Time to sing: "'I never felt better in my life.'"

Ralph (sings): "I never felt better in my..." (not singing): "Whooaaaaaaaaaa!...Now, I feel better. Boy, this ship is like a regular city. There's a movie theater, several night clubs, several shops. It's like we haven't left New York."

Ed: “Hey Ralph, let’s lean over on the rail.”
Ralph: “Yes, we should. I don’t believe the girls when they say that we shouldn’t do that.”

(They do and they fall into the ocean.)

Ralph (yells): “DUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

(Splash!)

(The girls and boys, still soaked, arrive in Israel.)

Alice: “Boy, you boys had to embarrass yourselves on Celebrity Cruise. We told you that their railings are weak. Now, I hope you two don’t embarrass ourselves.”

Ed: “Hey, at least I can say that I was home right in that water unlike Ralph who looked like a whale.”

Ralph (yells): “COME ON NORTON! PUT’ EM UP! YOU HAVE BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY.”

(Everyone tries to separate them and make peace.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Let's introduce every one of the cast. First: Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Aud comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: “GOOD NIGHT!”

(Crowd cheers.)