Bumper Stickers - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ags2000 · 04-21-2002, 04:08 AM

After looking at the thread on license plates, I thought I should start one on Bumper Stickers.

What are some of the funniest ones you've seen?

Here is a list of some of my favorites:

Bad cop! NO Donut!
Keep Honking, I'm reloading.
Miss your wife? Reload and try again.
HANG UP and DRIVE!
Horn broken, Watch for finger.
I hate bumper stickers.
True happiness is seeing your mother-in-laws picture on a milk carton.
Driver carries no cash. He's married!
SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKSFROG.
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. . . SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE... WHO CARES?
NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.
AND YOUR POINT IS...?
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY... I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED, I'M NOT.
IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
Yes this is my pickup truck, and NO I wont help you move!
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not You!
Jesus is coming! Look busy!
You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
All men are idiots....I married their king.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

When I think of some more, I'll post more.

D

Ags2000 · 04-21-2002, 04:22 AM

EARTH FIRST - We'll log the other planets later.
If your ship hasn't come in...Swim out to it!
I LIKE CATS! They taste like chicken.
Men are proof that women can take a joke.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
I like you but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.
"Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy"
LOTTERY: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Forget about world peace... visualize using your turn signal.
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Bumper sticker in the year 2100: DISCO STILL SUCKS

D

Czas na Zywiec · 04-21-2002, 11:17 AM

Honk if your horny.

I've seen lots, but for some reason, that sticks in my mind......don't ask why.

Kay Scarpetta · 04-21-2002, 11:22 AM

I've seen a lot of the same ones that you posted, D... omg those are funny!

Czas na Zywiec · 04-21-2002, 11:24 AM

Czas na Zywiec · 04-21-2002, 11:25 AM

Czas na Zywiec · 04-21-2002, 11:32 AM

Czas na Zywiec · 04-21-2002, 11:33 AM

Kay Scarpetta · 04-21-2002, 11:43 AM

I find this one amusing

ks · 04-21-2002, 12:12 PM

Those are all hilarious. Here's one that was in FOL:

" I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you"

However, the one you posted, D about "Ever stop to think and forget to start again?" is hilarious and my excuse from now on!

ks

Hollow · 04-21-2002, 01:27 PM

I like this 1

Hollow · 04-21-2002, 01:39 PM

This 1s my favorite

~*Belle N'Shawn forever~* · 01-22-2003, 12:52 PM

I have a bumper sticker on my car that says I Love NY

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 01-22-2003, 02:42 PM

I didnt read every single one (Im lazy LOl) but my fav. that I wanna get is:

UNLESS YOU'RE A HEMMERHOID, GET OFF MY ASS. LOl

Classic FOL Fanatic · 01-22-2003, 05:40 PM

those are funny, I can't think of any good ones, somebody post more!

04-21-2002, 04:08 AM	#1
Ags2000 Red 2/13/90 -1/5/06 Forum Veteran Join Date: May 02, 2001 Location: Candyland Posts: 5,544	Bumper Stickers After looking at the thread on license plates, I thought I should start one on Bumper Stickers. What are some of the funniest ones you've seen? Here is a list of some of my favorites: Bad cop! NO Donut! Keep Honking, I'm reloading. Miss your wife? Reload and try again. HANG UP and DRIVE! Horn broken, Watch for finger. I hate bumper stickers. True happiness is seeing your mother-in-laws picture on a milk carton. Driver carries no cash. He's married! SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME. GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKSFROG. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. . . SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE... WHO CARES? NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES. AND YOUR POINT IS...? WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY... I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED, I'M NOT. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES. Yes this is my pickup truck, and NO I wont help you move! If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not You! Jesus is coming! Look busy! You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date! Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad? Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. All men are idiots....I married their king. The more you complain, the longer God makes you live. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Where there's a will...I want to be in it. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink. We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home. Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else. When I think of some more, I'll post more. D

04-21-2002, 11:22 AM	#4
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I've seen a lot of the same ones that you posted, D... omg those are funny!
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

04-21-2002, 11:43 AM	#9
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I find this one amusing Attached Images

04-21-2002, 12:12 PM	#10
ks Certifiably Insane Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 21, 2000 Location: I live in my hole... Posts: 5,501	Those are all hilarious. Here's one that was in FOL: " I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you" However, the one you posted, D about "Ever stop to think and forget to start again?" is hilarious and my excuse from now on! ks
	__________________ "Ya gotta have a little faith." C.D. DeLerenzo

04-21-2002, 01:27 PM	#11
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	I like this 1 Attached Images

04-21-2002, 04:22 AM	#2
Ags2000 Red 2/13/90 -1/5/06 Forum Veteran Join Date: May 02, 2001 Location: Candyland Posts: 5,544	EARTH FIRST - We'll log the other planets later. If your ship hasn't come in...Swim out to it! I LIKE CATS! They taste like chicken. Men are proof that women can take a joke. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once. I like you but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles. "Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy" LOTTERY: A tax on people who are bad at math. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. Few women admit their age, few men act it. Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot. According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist. Forget about world peace... visualize using your turn signal. WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR. Give me ambiguity or give me something else. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"? Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? Bumper sticker in the year 2100: DISCO STILL SUCKS D

04-21-2002, 11:17 AM	#3
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398	Honk if your horny. I've seen lots, but for some reason, that sticks in my mind......don't ask why.

04-21-2002, 11:24 AM	#5
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398

04-21-2002, 11:25 AM	#6
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398

04-21-2002, 11:32 AM	#7
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398

04-21-2002, 11:33 AM	#8
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398

04-21-2002, 01:39 PM	#12
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	This 1s my favorite Attached Images

01-22-2003, 12:52 PM	#13
~Belle N'Shawn forever~ Member Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 12, 2002 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 873	no subject I have a bumper sticker on my car that says I Love NY

01-22-2003, 02:42 PM	#14
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	I didnt read every single one (Im lazy LOl) but my fav. that I wanna get is: UNLESS YOU'RE A HEMMERHOID, GET OFF MY ASS. LOl
	__________________ DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL

01-22-2003, 05:40 PM	#15
Classic FOL Fanatic Member Senior Member Join Date: Nov 12, 2002 Location: Eastland... Posts: 1,359	those are funny, I can't think of any good ones, somebody post more!
	__________________ The Facts of Life are all about you! Jo: You are what you are and that's good enough for me. Blair: I've just had another one of my brilliant ideas! Tootie: We are in trouble! Natalie: She's a breath of fresh air isn't she?