Dementia / Alzheimer / Nursing Homes

[Foggy]

Do you know anyone who has had Dementia / Alzheimer or is dealing with a family member with Dementia / Alzheiner?


What are your views of the dreaded "Nursing Home" or "Retirement Centers?"


For the past few months I have been dealing with my mom, who just turned 88 on July 2. On Mother's Day my sister had taken our mother to breakfast and our mom told her that a relative was staying with her. That would have been fine-- except that the relative she mentioned had been dead for about 10 years.

My sister called me and I checked on the house while they were still at breakfast. I found a woman (a stranger) upstairs laying on the floor in a bedroom.

The woman told me that my mom said she could stay there until she found a place to live. When my sister returned with our mom, we decided to inform the woman that she could not live here. She did leave.

Since than we put a "motion detecting camera" (deer trail camera with night vision) in the house. We do have pictures of people coming into the house between 3:00am and 7:00am on several different days. Unfortunately, they found the camera and took it. So yes, we now have the Police involved.
The Police Officer was there for about two hours and noticed that my mom was showing signs of Dementia. Since she lives alone he put in his report to have the Police Detectives look into it. They are watching the house.

We installed another camera and have not had anyone in the house since the pictures in May. I have also been spending more time at my mom's till late at night, early morning hours and even got questioned by a Detective walking home to my house (I only live 3 blocks from my mom.) I thanked him very much and was so glad I had my I.D. on me.

My mom has lived in this house for 82 years of her 88 years alive. Her Grandfather bulit the house and the property has been in the family for over 120 years. We have been told by my mom's doctor that if we move her out of the house she will rapidly decline. The doctor told us that with Dementia familiarity with her surrounding is the key. The more familiar the less decline and confusion she will have in her mind.

Even though my sister and I don't want to put my mom in a "home". because we understand that my mom's home is so much more to her than just her home--it is her life!!

My sister and I still felt we should start looking into "homes" and have found there are waiting lists...we have 7 in our area, but they are full. In the meantime, I will be spending more time at my mom's as much as I can. I know with my life I won't be able to spend as much time as I need at my mom's.

My father-in-law who is 91 also is showing rapid increase of Dementia. We just recently had to go though his food pantry and found a bunch of spoiled/outdated food/cans after he had symptoms of botulism. Earlier this winter he kept popping a circuit breaker that would shut-off his phone. Still don't know what he did to cause it to pop.


Why does life have to get so complicated?

[Babalu]

Some nursing homes etc. are obviously better than others.

I am fortunate enough to have been able to hire private home attendants around the clock until things were bad enough that I had no choice. Most people obviously can't afford that.

Here's the reality:

No one else will take care of your family as if they were their family.

[shotzette]

I'm sorry that you and your family are going through this, Foggy. I feel even worse that sleazeballs have been taking advantage of your mother in her condition. People suck.

I'm going to be in your shoes in the next few years since my inlaws are declining. I'm actually going to start researching assisted living facilities later this month. My main concerns revolve around someone falling and injuring themselves or meds not being consumed at the prescribed times/dosages. For those issues, I will be relived that a staff of people will be looking after my loved ones and that they are more medically savvy than I am. I also want to get the ball rolling while my inlaw is still mentally capable of participating in the decision making process. I don't want to put this off and then have to make a hurried decision that makes everyone uncomfortable.

Hang in there, and I'm glad you and your sister are looking out for your mom.

[Bonniegirl]

Originally Posted by Foggy

Do you know anyone who has had Dementia / Alzheimer or is dealing with a family member with Dementia / Alzheiner?


What are your views of the dreaded "Nursing Home" or "Retirement Centers?"


For the past few months I have been dealing with my mom, who just turned 88 on July 2. On Mother's Day my sister had taken our mother to breakfast and our mom told her that a relative was staying with her. That would have been fine-- except that the relative she mentioned had been dead for about 10 years.

My sister called me and I checked on the house while they were still at breakfast. I found a woman (a stranger) upstairs laying on the floor in a bedroom.

The woman told me that my mom said she could stay there until she found a place to live. When my sister returned with our mom, we decided to inform the woman that she could not live here. She did leave.

Since than we put a "motion detecting camera" (deer trail camera with night vision) in the house. We do have pictures of people coming into the house between 3:00am and 7:00am on several different days. Unfortunately, they found the camera and took it. So yes, we now have the Police involved.
The Police Officer was there for about two hours and noticed that my mom was showing signs of Dementia. Since she lives alone he put in his report to have the Police Detectives look into it. They are watching the house.

We installed another camera and have not had anyone in the house since the pictures in May. I have also been spending more time at my mom's till late at night, early morning hours and even got questioned by a Detective walking home to my house (I only live 3 blocks from my mom.) I thanked him very much and was so glad I had my I.D. on me.

My mom has lived in this house for 82 years of her 88 years alive. Her Grandfather bulit the house and the property has been in the family for over 120 years. We have been told by my mom's doctor that if we move her out of the house she will rapidly decline. The doctor told us that with Dementia familiarity with her surrounding is the key. The more familiar the less decline and confusion she will have in her mind.

Even though my sister and I don't want to put my mom in a "home". because we understand that my mom's home is so much more to her than just her home--it is her life!!

My sister and I still felt we should start looking into "homes" and have found there are waiting lists...we have 7 in our area, but they are full. In the meantime, I will be spending more time at my mom's as much as I can. I know with my life I won't be able to spend as much time as I need at my mom's.

My father-in-law who is 91 also is showing rapid increase of Dementia. We just recently had to go though his food pantry and found a bunch of spoiled/outdated food/cans after he had symptoms of botulism. Earlier this winter he kept popping a circuit breaker that would shut-off his phone. Still don't know what he did to cause it to pop.


Why does life have to get so complicated?

Wow! Very sorry to hear this Foggy!

[biffbronson]

I have a close relative who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 4 years ago, and now Parkinson's Disease just this past year. So I have some understanding about your problems and concerns.

Once when I was responsible and had left the house for only about 45 minutes, I learned that someone had come to the door and was very persistent about selling something -- despite my "No Solicitation" sign. I felt very uneasy about just a screen door separating from danger. I now have security concerns, not unlike what you've encountered.

I wanted to suggest that you look into support groups in your area -- there are others in your own community who may be able to offer advice. Sorry to hear of your problems, and best wishes.

[GARFIELDKOOL]

Yes, my father. This pass December, one of my aunts (his sister) passed. We brought my pops to the funeral and he let him viewed her body in the casket. He asked us who was in the casket. He didn't even realize she was dead. But he recognized his brother who lives out of town. Like most dementia patients, his mind comes and goes