I feel left out

[Family Ties Forever!]

A friend of mine that I've known since childhood lost a family member two weeks ago. She doesn't want to talk about it and she hasn't told me. Some of her other friends [I don't know them] have asked and she's told them. I feel bad for her and he family. I'm trying not to take it personally, but it's hard. That doesn't say much for me as a person if a friend I've known for almost 24 years won't confide in me. I want to be a good friend and help, but how can I when she refuses to say anything?

I've given her space and I'm trying to respect her privacy. There have been so many times with my family that I've been left out of things, that it makes me feel like it's just one more thing I'm excluded from. My friend said that she's tired of talking about it and that she's done. The funeral is tomorrow (Sat). I sent her a sympathy card. I let her know that I'm here if she ever wants to talk.

Thought? Please go easy on me, thanks.

[Zoneboy]

You've tried your best it seems so now the ball is in her court. I would just give her more time and let her make the next move.

[gidgetgrape]

Sometimes it's easier to share painful things with people you don't know very well.

[Family Ties Forever!]

Originally Posted by Zoneboy

You've tried your best it seems so now the ball is in her court. I would just give her more time and let her make the next move.

Thanks.

Originally Posted by gidgetgrape

Sometimes it's easier to share painful things with people you don't know very well.

Oh, I didn't think of that.

[Janice]

There are people who tend to retreat during difficult times. Still, it doesn't stop a friend from feeling ignored. I know firsthand that you're a great friend. You want to be a friend and help her through this terrible time.

How do you know she's confiding in other friends about it? That would hurt my feelings too. I get that her feelings are what count, but you're only human, and you have feelings too. Perhaps you can talk to her down the road and let her know how you feel about being shut out when she confides in others.

I'd be interested in what she has to say. She also shut you out of another crisis recently. It might be time to re-evaluate the friendship. It seems to be off balance to me; but like I said, now isn't the time.

[Family Ties Forever!]

Originally Posted by Janice

There are people who tend to retreat during difficult times. Still, it doesn't stop a friend from feeling ignored. I know firsthand that you're a great friend. You want to be a friend and help her through this terrible time.

How do you know she's confiding in other friends about it? That would hurt my feelings too. I get that her feelings are what count, but you're only human, and you have feelings too. Perhaps you can talk to her down the road and let her know how you feel about being shut out when she confides in others.

I'd be interested in what she has to say. She also shut you out of another crisis recently. It might be time to re-evaluate the friendship. It seems to be off balance to me; but like I said, now isn't the time.

Thanks Janice. That's good advice. She told me that some of her other friends had asked and she had to explain it. She told me that she's done. There was a finality in her voice. She said she's tired of people asking and she's tired of talking about it. I'm going to back off and give her space again. Yeah, I might need to re-evaluate my friendship with her.