Sunday School Misquotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Truth · 04-06-2002, 11:44 PM

I got this from AOL...

Sunday School Humor
Children's takes on prayer, the Ten Commandments, and who gets to act like Jesus.

I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail. Amen."
One particular four-year-old prayed, "and forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

A little boy was overheard praying, "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, it's okay. I'm having a real good time like I am."

A Sunday school teacher asked her small pupils, as they were on the way to the church service, "Why should we be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, " Because people are sleeping."

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, and as he preached, he moved about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose will he hurt us?"

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin (5) and Ryan (3). The boys began to argue over would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait."

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said. "Ryan, you can be Jesus!"

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments and were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a kindergartner, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created from one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying as though he was ill and asked, "Johnny, what's the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, " I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife!"

And from a 3-year-old: "Our Father, who does art in heaven, Howard is his name

FolFanatic151 · 04-06-2002, 11:59 PM

LOL Those are cute!

Czas na Zywiec · 04-07-2002, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JWillhight
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin (5) and Ryan (3). The boys began to argue over would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait."

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said. "Ryan, you can be Jesus!"

I thought this one was funny!

Chocoholic · 04-07-2002, 02:57 AM

LOL! Very cute

Kay Scarpetta · 04-07-2002, 12:04 PM

Cute!!

*Marilyn Monroe* · 04-07-2002, 12:42 PM

Those are adorable!

Montana Ponine · 04-07-2002, 12:49 PM

I loved em!!

04-06-2002, 11:44 PM	#1
Truth •°·Alien Believer·°• Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 15, 2001 Posts: 3,463	Sunday School Misquotes I got this from AOL... Sunday School Humor Children's takes on prayer, the Ten Commandments, and who gets to act like Jesus. I had been teaching my three-year-old daughter the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail. Amen." One particular four-year-old prayed, "and forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." A little boy was overheard praying, "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, it's okay. I'm having a real good time like I am." A Sunday school teacher asked her small pupils, as they were on the way to the church service, "Why should we be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, " Because people are sleeping." The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, and as he preached, he moved about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose will he hurt us?" Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers." A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin (5) and Ryan (3). The boys began to argue over would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said. "Ryan, you can be Jesus!" A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments and were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife." At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a kindergartner, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created from one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying as though he was ill and asked, "Johnny, what's the matter?" Little Johnny responded, " I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife!" And from a 3-year-old: "Our Father, who does art in heaven, Howard is his name
	__________________ Justin (I am an Alien Believer ) (A Seattle Mariner Fan) (And Down with Spyware!) R.I.P John Ritter

04-06-2002, 11:59 PM	#2
FolFanatic151 Member Senior Member Join Date: Apr 01, 2001 Posts: 1,019	LOL Those are cute!
	__________________ "The arm, Hacksaw!" - Jo ------------------------- Jo: Would you do me a favor? Would you go out and come back in again? Kelly: Why? Jo: So I can lock the door inbetween! ------------------------- Kelly comes into Edna's Edibles Jo: Kid, you're in here and you're breathing. One of those things has got to change.

04-07-2002, 12:04 PM	#5
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	Cute!!
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

04-07-2002, 12:42 PM	#6
Marilyn Monroe Diamonds... Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 24, 2001 Location: Where gentlemen actually prefer brunettes Posts: 4,811	Those are adorable!
	__________________ That certain night, the night we met. There was magic abroad in the air. There were angels dining at the Ritz. And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.

04-07-2002, 02:57 AM	#4
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	LOL! Very cute

04-07-2002, 12:49 PM	#7
Montana Ponine Tragically Beautiful Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 18, 2001 Location: Sondheimville Posts: 4,529	I loved em!!