My Version Of Extra!Extra

[Chain Gang Member]

(after getting hit on,Janet & Terri go to the Regal Beagle to meet Jack & Zack)
Terri:He just reached over and pinched me.

Janet:You too?(sees the guys staring at them)Oh my God.

Terri:I don't believe this.

Janet:Yeah.Who knew those guys could read?

Zack: (runs into the as he enters and looks outside)Don't you ever grab me there again!I have a girlfriend!(turns his index fingers into a cross and comes in)

Terri:What's wrong with you?

Zack:Girls were grabbing as I was coming like I wanted them to be groupies.

Janet: Don't worry.It's not like you're the only one of us who went through that today.

Terri:Yeah.The thing happened to us and now guys can't stop staring at us.

Zack:Really?(a guy comes over to him only to get grabbed by the collar)Don't you dare come over here again or the next time you see me & Terri,you'll be in a body cast(shoves the guy away)!

(Jack enters and they clap)

Jack:Happy Hour must've came early.(looks at Janet,Terri & Zack)Except at this table.What's wrong with you?

Janet:We all got hit on.

Terri:And the guys there won't stop staring at me & Janet.

Jack:Well I'll go take care of them.(Mike The Bartender comes over and whispers to Jack)Well we owe it all to our friends(Mike walks away)

Janet:Jack what was that?

Terri: Don't you care what happened to us today?

Jack: Of course I do.(another guy whispers into his ear)Well when you got it,you got it(the guy walks away).

Zack:Jack.Why are you doing this?Don't you realize what happened to us today was wrong?

Jack:Yeah and I feel terrible that the three of you had to go through that.

Mike:Her you go.Drinks are on the house(gives them drinks and low fives Jack).

Terri:No.They're on Jack(they pour their drinks on Jack and leave)

(End Of Scene)

Jack:Good morning.(sees everybody in a bad mood)Oh come on you guys aren't still mad about what happened last night.Are you?

Janet:Jack how could make those guys keep thinking that something was going on between us?

Terri:At least Zack tried to get them to stop.

Zack:Yeah.They're your friends too and I have a girlfriend who I've fallen in love with.

Jack:You need to realize that was yesterday.Today is a new day and everybody has a new newspaper.People will end up forgetting all about that stupid article.

Zack:Actually I think Jack is right.

Jack:Really?

Zack:Yeah.It's not like it's gonna ruin our lives.(hears the phone)I'll get it.Hey Zoey.I was just thinking about you.What?No of course that article isn't true.You know you can't believe everything you read.Zoey please don't say that.I love you(hears dial tone and hangs up the phone)

Jack:What's wrong Zack?

Zack:Janet what's that Hank Thompson guy's blood type?

Janet:Why?

Zack:Because he's gonna need many donations after the beating I give him!

Terri: (stops him from running out the door)Zack besides the lies he put in the article,why are you gonna beat him up?

Zack:Zoey just called telling me that it's over due to reading the article.I tried to tell her that nothing is going on,but she broke up with me anyway.

Jack:I know you're mad,but violence isn't gonna solve anything.

Zack:Well of course you'd say that.Nothing bad hasn't happened to you yet.You just got praised by some drunk idiots who see you as some hero playboy.

Jack:Well although they don't realize you didn't do anything,all they see when they look at me is this likable,handsome,fun loving kind of guy living with two lonely girls.

Janet & Terri:LONELY?!

Zack:That's your ego talking again Jack.

Jack:Who cares if anybody else has these silly fantasies.As long as we know the truth,shouldn't that be all that matters?

Zack:Um Jack.Didn't you just see me throw a fit and have the urge to beat up Hank Thompson due to the article causing my girlfriend to break up with me?

Jack: Ok.If it makes you feel any better,I'll make sure that the next person who freaks out over the article will make sure that they know that I was the blame for the actions and you didn't do anything wrong?

Zack:Well thanks Jack,but I don't think it'll make me feel better about it causing Zoey to break up with me?

(doorbell rings)

Jack: (opens the door)Susan?

Susan: (shoves a stuffed at him)You can take this stuffed animal and stuff it!

Jack:I don't suppose this has anything to do with that article.Does it?

Zack:Well a little better.

Jack:Girls will you tell her that the article isn't true?

Terri:Anything you say sexy.It's lies.

Janet:Every bit of it

Jack:Will you stop that?

Terri: Ok.It's all true.

Janet:Every bit of it.

Jack:What?!

Janet:Well how can we help ourselves when we're just two lonely girls living with this likable,handsome

Terri:Fun loving kind of guy(they pinch him).

Jack: Ow!

Susan:I'm gonna take this(picks up the bear).You've got enough play things of your own

Jack:Zack do something!

Zack:Fine.Susan there's something you need to hear.Hank Thompson didn't tell the truth.

Jack:Thank you

Zack:I didn't do anything and Jack said to tell you that he blames his actions on himself which includes the article causing my girlfriend to break up with me.

Susan:He caused your girlfriend to break up with you?(writes on a piece of paper)Here(gives it to Zack and leaves)

Jack:There goes the best bumper car partner who ever lived!

Janet:Let her have her own silly fantasies.

Terri:As long as we know the truth

Jack: Ok I was wrong.

Terri:He finally admits it.

Janet:Yeah!

Jack:What did you get from her?

Zack:Her number.

Jack:WHAT?!

Zack: Don't worry.I'm not gonna call her.I'm still too heartbroken.Plus death is coming a knocking soon.(hears doorbell)Or a ringing

Jack:I'll get rid of whoever it is(opens it up)Leave us alone and take your dirty mind with you(closes it)

Janet:Who was it?

Jack:My mother.My mother?!

Zack:I told you

Jack:Mom I'm so sorry.I didn't recognize you.You look terrific.

Mrs.Tripper:You'd notice if you'd come visit more often.

Zack:Jack haven't we heard enough lies lately?

Jack:You remember our two roommates

Mrs.Tripper:Sodom & Gamora

Jack:I think she read the article.

Zack:It's like a disease.

Mrs.Tripper:No wonder you don't have any time to write.

Jack:Mom I can explain.

Mrs.Tripper:You can explain on your way back to San Diego.Lets go pack your bags.

Zack:He's staying.Jack can make his own decisions.

Mrs.Tripper:Stay out of this black sheep!

Terri:Black sheep?

Zack:That's what she always thought of me as.

Mrs.Tripper:Unlike my sons,he started rebelling against my rules like some punk.

Zack:Which is why my wrestling name was The Rebellion Punk.

Mrs.Tripper:Now as I was saying,Jack go pack your things.

(Doorbell rings)

Janet:Now what?(opens the door)Mrs.Alden?!

Terri:Before you say anything,nothing in that article is true.There's nothing going on between me & Jack or Jack & Janet or anybody else here.

Mrs.Alden:What article?

Terri:So I how've you been?

Mrs.Alden:What's going on?

Mrs.Tripper:I'll tell you what's going on.These girls have been throwing themselves at my son and for some reason,my nephew as well.I should know.I'm Jack's mom.

Mrs.Alden:That can't be true.

Mrs.Tripper: Of course it is.I'm Mrs.Tripper.

Mrs.Alden:If anything is going on here,it should be because of them.My Terri was always a sweet,innocent girl.

Janet:Mrs.Alden she's still the same sweet girl.

Mrs.Alden:What happened to innocent?

Zack:Well yeah

Mrs.Alden: Oh I warned you not to move in with

Jack:Jack.

Zack:And I'm Zack

Terri:Mom it's not what you think.

Mrs.Alden:I knew the men in California were all sex maniacs

Mrs.Tripper:More like all of the women in California are all hussies.

Janet:If you two don't mind,I'd like to speak with the sex maniacs & the hussy in the kitchen

(Janet,Terri & Zack go into the kitchen)

Jack:Mother may I?

Zack:Jack get in here(grabs Jack and brings him into the kitchen)

Terri:Mothers can be misminded sometimes.

Jack:Yeah.How did you put up with her all of these years?

Terri:Me?I was talking about your mother.

Jack:My mother?

Terri:She's a troublemaker.

Jack:Mommy?

Zack:It's true Jack.

Janet:Can we please find a way to get through this?

Jack:Not until she takes back what she said about mommy.

Terri:I'd rather kiss a toad!

Janet:Will you two grow up?!(leaves)

Zack:Especially you Jack!(leaves)

Jack:What's their problem?

Terri:I don't know.

Mrs.Tripper: Don't worry.Jack & I will be gone soon.

Mrs.Alden:And Terri & I will be out of here sooner.

Zack:No they're not.

Mrs.Tripper:I see you haven't changed.You're still that same brat who didn't go along with what I say.

Zack:You had me sleep in a broom closet!

Janet:Enough!We'll just have to let them leave

Zack:What?

Janet:Yes.But I would like to know if you consider yourselves good mothers.

Mrs.Alden:Yes.

Mrs.Tripper: Of course.

Janet: (see Zack is is about to say something)Don't say anything Zack.Anyway,then how could you raise such horrible children?

Mrs.Tripper:Jack isn't horrible.

Mrs.Alden:Neither is Terri.

Janet:Well(there's silence).You should be proud of yourselves.Jack & Terri are two of the best people we know

Zack:Although I give Uncle Jack more credit.

Janet:Zack!

(in the kitchen)

Jack:When I saw my mom,I felt like I was 5 again.

Terri:So did I.

Jack:For a minute I thought she was gonna send me to my room.

Terri:She did.

Jack:We need to stand up to them.Zack is right.I need to let her know that I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

Terri:Lets go

(In the living room)

Jack:Mom.(Janet & Zack try to stop them)Stay out of this you two.Get your own mothers....oh I'm sorry Zack.I didn't mean to.

Zack:We've gone through so many things these past 2 days,I'm gonna let that slide this time.

Jack:Anyway we need to tell you something.

Terri:Either you trust us or you don't.

Mrs.Tripper: Of course we do.Can you forgive this foolish old lady?

Jack: Of course.

Mrs.Alden:And can you forgive this even more foolish although younger old lady?

Terri: Of course mom.Why were you stopping by anyway?

Mrs.Alden:Well I saw this nice nighty that would look good on you

Jack:Wow.(Zack covers Jack's mouth before he can finish)

Mrs.Tripper:Maybe you should trade them in for flanal pajamas

Mrs.Alden:Yeah.I'll just exchange these.(leaves)

(Mr.Furley enters)

Furley:I just ran into Hank Thompson and he's gonna write an article taking back everything he said and he's gonna publish it in tomorrow's paper.

Jack:Really?

Janet:That's great.

Furley:He's gonna take back what he said about this building being run down

Zack:What about us?

Furley:Yeah he also said he's gonna take back what he said about you kids too.

Terri:How'd you get him to do that?

Furley:Easy.I just told him that Jack was gay.(leaves)

All:

Mrs.Tripper:Well I could've told him that.

All:

Mrs.Tripper:Jack always was a happy boy.And Zack I have to say that you do seem to be mature due to being a doctor

Zack:Thank you

Mrs.Tripper:Because you being a wrestler showed what a brat you were.Talking about how you weren't the type of wrestler who sucked up to the boss,waving your hand in front of your face while telling people they can't see you.And another thing(Zack slams the door on her)

Zack:Yap yap yap

(End of scene)

Mr.Furley:Extra!Extra!Read all about it!Ralph Furley gets things done!

Janet:That's in the paper?

Furley:No.I haven't read it yet.I thought we'd all read it together

Jack:Mr.Furley you didn't have to do this

Furley:Hey I didn't want them to think different about you Jack

Zack:This article better be better than the last article that costed me my girlfriend.Otherwise the next time Hank Thompson name is in the newspaper,it will be in the obituaries

Furley:"Correction.I Hank Thompson apologize to the last subjects in my last article"See you just have to know how to talk to them

Jack:Read!

Furley:"Not only is the apartment not rundown(sniffs) but such actions would never be tolerated.According to Ralph Furley,their gay landlord".

All:

END