Favorite Quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ohio8 · 11-30-2015, 05:42 PM

Archie: "What's wrong with revenge? It's the poifect way to get even!"
Paul Benjamin: "You can't argue with a bullet!"

DJM77 · 11-30-2015, 09:10 PM

Archie: If Stanislaus is a good name, how come he named you meathead?
Mike: He named me Michael. You named me meathead.

tvfan25 · 12-06-2015, 07:53 PM

Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Daddy, did you know that sixty percent of the people murdered in this country in the last ten years were killed by guns?

Archie Bunker: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?

Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Daddy, how can you be against gun control with all the assassinations? Look at it, the Kennedys and Martin Luther King. And what about the shooting of Governor Wallace?

Archie Bunker: I'm saying maybe Governor Wallace wouldn't have gotten shot if he had a rod in his mitt!

AB · 09-08-2016, 08:17 PM

An Archie quote:

Ohio8 · 04-16-2017, 12:18 PM

Mike: (to Archie)"Do you realize you are totally incomprehensible?"
Archie: "Maybe so, but I make a lot of sense."

um · 08-05-2017, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tvfan25

Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Daddy, did you know that sixty percent of the people murdered in this country in the last ten years were killed by guns?

Archie Bunker: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?

This is one of my favorite quotes and scenes too. Gloria replied by saying "Well that is convoluted logic."

um · 08-05-2017, 07:40 PM

There might be no more than one entire episode of AITF that I like.

I tend to like certain scenes rather than plots in their entirety.

But probably the episode in which Gloria suspects Mike of being attracted to another woman is the one with some of the funniest quotes.
In this episode Gloria makes a statement to her mother, Edith, that she thinks that Mike is actually "Taking lessons" from the woman he is tutoring. And Edith asks "What kind of lessons could she give him?"
That is really a funny quote IMO.

Mike was tutoring a woman "Linda" (Bernadette Peters) who he was attracted to and found himself just being scatterbrained around her because he could not help himself but make it obvious that he does like her.
Bernadette Peters' character was hilarious when she said, "For the past couple of weeks you haven't been able to finish a sentence, and you have been acting terribly charming, telling jokes, and you smell awfully good, and you seem to be coming on to me, and if you are, I just want to let you know, it's all right."
And it gets to where Mike is saying that he is married and has a baby on the way so how can anyone think he is trying to flirt with another woman? But before he knows it "Linda" is sitting on his lap kissing him passionately and Mike is not fighting it really, but he is very nervous and amazed at how he is enjoying it.

Another funny quote IMO is in an episode that I don't know the name of, but there is a scene in which Edith is trying to tell Archie not to make a phone call and I think that Archie was spitefully threatening to call the police or maybe squeal on someone about something, and Edith finally grabs the phone out of Archie's hand and says "Put the phone down dammit!" and it is one of the few times in the earlier episodes in which Edith tells Archie off, and Archie listens. But then since Gloria and Mike were in the room and heard Edith uncharacteristically use a (mild) curse word, Archie then says "In front of the kids?"
That is one of my fav quotes and scenes.

AB · 08-06-2017, 06:36 PM

An Archie Bunker & Sammy Davis Jr. quote.

AB · 09-24-2017, 04:59 PM

Archie: [on the phone] No, no, I ain't got nothing against them people. I'm calling you from a home that used to be colored.

AB · 02-12-2018, 06:02 PM

Emanuel: "Archie, por favor?"
Archie: "Yeah, pour some more."

Bonniegirl · 02-12-2018, 11:41 PM

Archie getting people's names wrong !

Archie: Reverend Fletcher

Edith: It's Reverend Felcher

Archie: Whatever

AB · 02-13-2018, 05:42 PM

(Archie talking about Mike)

Archie: "But what does he owe me for 5 years of bread and broad?"

AB · 02-26-2018, 06:45 PM

Mike: "Tom Farrell paid you to keep quiet!"

Archie: "Ain't ya never heard "silence is gold?"

tlc38tlc38 · 03-01-2018, 09:54 AM

I'm not sure if the exact quote but my absolute favorite dialogue came from "Edith's Accident" when she's talking about the cling peaches in heavy syrup.

AB · 03-02-2018, 06:27 PM

Archie: "C'mon, give me your opinion, straight from the dingbat."

Edith: "Well, I think you should mind your own business."

Archie: "Who asked you?"

11-30-2015, 05:42 PM	#1
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Favorite Quotes Archie: "What's wrong with revenge? It's the poifect way to get even!" Paul Benjamin: "You can't argue with a bullet!"
	__________________ "Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd Last edited by Ohio8; 12-08-2019 at 11:36 AM.

11-30-2015, 09:10 PM	#2
DJM77 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: May 15, 2001 Location: Missouri Posts: 5,553	Archie: If Stanislaus is a good name, how come he named you meathead? Mike: He named me Michael. You named me meathead.
	__________________ Marge: There are only 49 stars on that flag. Abe: I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missouri!

09-08-2016, 08:17 PM	#4
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,426	An Archie quote: Attached Images

04-16-2017, 12:18 PM	#5
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Mike: (to Archie)"Do you realize you are totally incomprehensible?" Archie: "Maybe so, but I make a lot of sense."
	Last edited by Ohio8; 12-08-2019 at 11:38 AM.

08-06-2017, 06:36 PM	#8
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,426	An Archie Bunker & Sammy Davis Jr. quote. Attached Images

12-06-2015, 07:53 PM	#3
tvfan25 Member Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 10, 2010 Location: Indiana Posts: 634	Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Daddy, did you know that sixty percent of the people murdered in this country in the last ten years were killed by guns? Archie Bunker: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows? Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Daddy, how can you be against gun control with all the assassinations? Look at it, the Kennedys and Martin Luther King. And what about the shooting of Governor Wallace? Archie Bunker: I'm saying maybe Governor Wallace wouldn't have gotten shot if he had a rod in his mitt!

08-05-2017, 07:40 PM	#7
um Member Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 26, 2015 Posts: 905	There might be no more than one entire episode of AITF that I like. I tend to like certain scenes rather than plots in their entirety. But probably the episode in which Gloria suspects Mike of being attracted to another woman is the one with some of the funniest quotes. In this episode Gloria makes a statement to her mother, Edith, that she thinks that Mike is actually "Taking lessons" from the woman he is tutoring. And Edith asks "What kind of lessons could she give him?" That is really a funny quote IMO. Mike was tutoring a woman "Linda" (Bernadette Peters) who he was attracted to and found himself just being scatterbrained around her because he could not help himself but make it obvious that he does like her. Bernadette Peters' character was hilarious when she said, "For the past couple of weeks you haven't been able to finish a sentence, and you have been acting terribly charming, telling jokes, and you smell awfully good, and you seem to be coming on to me, and if you are, I just want to let you know, it's all right." And it gets to where Mike is saying that he is married and has a baby on the way so how can anyone think he is trying to flirt with another woman? But before he knows it "Linda" is sitting on his lap kissing him passionately and Mike is not fighting it really, but he is very nervous and amazed at how he is enjoying it. Another funny quote IMO is in an episode that I don't know the name of, but there is a scene in which Edith is trying to tell Archie not to make a phone call and I think that Archie was spitefully threatening to call the police or maybe squeal on someone about something, and Edith finally grabs the phone out of Archie's hand and says "Put the phone down dammit!" and it is one of the few times in the earlier episodes in which Edith tells Archie off, and Archie listens. But then since Gloria and Mike were in the room and heard Edith uncharacteristically use a (mild) curse word, Archie then says "In front of the kids?" That is one of my fav quotes and scenes.

09-24-2017, 04:59 PM	#9
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,426	Archie: [on the phone] No, no, I ain't got nothing against them people. I'm calling you from a home that used to be colored.

02-12-2018, 06:02 PM	#10
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,426	Emanuel: "Archie, por favor?" Archie: "Yeah, pour some more."

02-12-2018, 11:41 PM	#11
Bonniegirl AKA Hazel Horvath Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 10, 2014 Posts: 65,399	Archie getting people's names wrong ! Archie: Reverend Fletcher Edith: It's Reverend Felcher Archie: Whatever

02-13-2018, 05:42 PM	#12
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,426	(Archie talking about Mike) Archie: "But what does he owe me for 5 years of bread and broad?"

02-26-2018, 06:45 PM	#13
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,426	Mike: "Tom Farrell paid you to keep quiet!" Archie: "Ain't ya never heard "silence is gold?"

03-01-2018, 09:54 AM	#14
tlc38tlc38 Every day’s a Dolly day! Forum Star Join Date: May 02, 2008 Location: I’m just travelin’ thru Posts: 19,252	I'm not sure if the exact quote but my absolute favorite dialogue came from "Edith's Accident" when she's talking about the cling peaches in heavy syrup.
	__________________ Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. Deuteronomy 15:10 In loving memory of my best friend, my Mama.

03-02-2018, 06:27 PM	#15
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,426	Archie: "C'mon, give me your opinion, straight from the dingbat." Edith: "Well, I think you should mind your own business." Archie: "Who asked you?"