How to terrorize a telemarketer... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Chocoholic · 04-02-2002, 12:57 AM

>10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer
>10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked
>because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems;
>my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died."
>9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their
>name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is
>located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their
>company for as long as necessary.
>8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you
>been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she
>tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
>7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends
>plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any
>friends... would you be my friend?"
>6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
>bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
>5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest" and ask if they could
>bring you a case of beer and some chips.
>4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
>When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your
>credit card number to a complete stranger.
>3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they
>will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
>telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you
>say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The
>telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
>2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
>"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
>And first and foremost:
>1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD
>down.
>

FOLrocks1 · 04-02-2002, 12:51 PM

LOL! Those are good ones! I like them! I will be doing some of them. Especially #3!

KerriBerri687 · 04-02-2002, 01:43 PM

i love harassin telemarketers.....sooooooo much fun!! i always ask em if they sell matresses and yell @ em wen they say no or i pretend im realllllly old and make em repeat everything they say 38439284932 times!!! SO MUCH FUN! hehe i cant wait to try those out!

vienna waits · 04-02-2002, 02:12 PM

Kay Scarpetta · 04-02-2002, 02:59 PM

I just tell them everyone has died here

Babes_Cat · 04-02-2002, 03:57 PM

Or do what my brothers do here..............

Peter says: (6 years old.) Lo siento no hablo ingles adios!
George says/does: (10 years old) Hold the fart machine up to the phone and presses the button everytime there is a apuse in the conversation.

Kay Scarpetta · 04-02-2002, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
Peter says: (6 years old.) Lo siento no hablo ingles adios!

Heh heh I tried that last time someone called here and it turned out the woman spoke spanish too. I was like "Oh damn NOW what am I supposed to do?"

Babes_Cat · 04-02-2002, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever

Heh heh I tried that last time someone called here and it turned out the woman spoke spanish too. I was like "Oh damn NOW what am I supposed to do?"

um.................... HANG UP!

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 04-02-2002, 04:46 PM

Kinda OT but......

Yesterday my mom's doctor called, only I thought it was a telemarketer cuz she pronounced our last name "Mick-in-tooosh" (it's spelled McIntosh, but pronounced Macintosh) and I handed my mom the phone and I yelled really loud, "It's someone looking for Sandy Mick-in-toosh!" and I know she totally heard me....

tonicapollo · 04-02-2002, 05:32 PM

i love number three it's old but it's the best...

my brother (21) said if they try to sell you something try to sell them a porno flick.. lol that's pretty funny you should here what they say and make sure to ask them for there credit card number ok

Kay Scarpetta · 04-02-2002, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
um..... HANG UP!

That..... could work.

*Marilyn Monroe* · 04-02-2002, 05:58 PM

my dad always says that they're in spain and tells them to call them back.

Liza · 04-02-2002, 06:04 PM

lol, thanks for these. Being on a college campus we get telemarketers ALL the time! This is going to be fun!

Babes_Cat · 04-02-2002, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever

That..... could work.

That....... should work.

That........ will work!

Kay Scarpetta · 04-02-2002, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Teddys_Gurl
That....... should work.

That........ will work!

04-02-2002, 12:57 AM	#1
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	How to terrorize a telemarketer... >10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer >10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked >because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; >my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died." >9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their >name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is >located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their >company for as long as necessary. >8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you >been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she >tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from. >7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends >plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any >friends... would you be my friend?" >6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for >bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. >5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest" and ask if they could >bring you a case of beer and some chips. >4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. >When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your >credit card number to a complete stranger. >3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they >will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the >telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you >say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The >telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" >2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. >"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" >And first and foremost: >1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD >down. >

04-02-2002, 12:51 PM	#2
FOLrocks1 My favorite ladies! Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 09, 2001 Location: Ohio Posts: 4,103	LOL! Those are good ones! I like them! I will be doing some of them. Especially #3!
	__________________ THE GOLDEN GIRLS! Sophia: (to Blanche) Fasten your seatbelt, slut puppie. This ain't gunna be no cakewalk. Blanche: I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men. Dorothy: You really haven't grasped the concept of this gay thing yet, have you? Blanche: There must be homosexuals who date women. Sophia: Yeah, they're called lesbians. JACOB

04-02-2002, 02:12 PM	#4
vienna waits avatars are stupid. Forum Superstar Join Date: May 18, 2001 Location: Ravenclaw Common Room Posts: 29,859
	__________________ Me: Did you see Dunkleman in the audience at the finale? Crystal: No! Me: Yeah, that's because he wasn't invited.

04-02-2002, 02:59 PM	#5
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I just tell them everyone has died here
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

04-02-2002, 05:32 PM	#10
tonicapollo Post Major Frequent Poster Join Date: Sep 18, 2001 Location: pueblo colorado u.s.a. Posts: 100	lol i love number three it's old but it's the best... my brother (21) said if they try to sell you something try to sell them a porno flick.. lol that's pretty funny you should here what they say and make sure to ask them for there credit card number ok

04-02-2002, 01:43 PM	#3
KerriBerri687 defying gravity Senior Member Join Date: Jan 13, 2001 Location: you'll find me in Emerald City...I'm the green one with the flying monkeys Posts: 2,869	i love harassin telemarketers.....sooooooo much fun!! i always ask em if they sell matresses and yell @ em wen they say no or i pretend im realllllly old and make em repeat everything they say 38439284932 times!!! SO MUCH FUN! hehe i cant wait to try those out!
	__________________ *.:[K][E][R][R][ I]:.* So if you care to find me, look to the western sky. As someone told me lately; 'Everyone deserves the chance to fly', and if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free. To all those who'd ground me, take a message back from me: Tell them how I'm defying gravity. I'm flying high, defying gravity *insanity is like heaven*

04-02-2002, 03:57 PM	#6
Babes_Cat Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Oct 11, 2001 Location: massachusetts Posts: 34,145	Or do what my brothers do here.............. Peter says: (6 years old.) Lo siento no hablo ingles adios! George says/does: (10 years old) Hold the fart machine up to the phone and presses the button everytime there is a apuse in the conversation.

04-02-2002, 04:46 PM	#9
AllIWantIsYourClutch peaceout. Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 02, 2001 Location: Illinois. Posts: 53,424	Kinda OT but...... Yesterday my mom's doctor called, only I thought it was a telemarketer cuz she pronounced our last name "Mick-in-tooosh" (it's spelled McIntosh, but pronounced Macintosh) and I handed my mom the phone and I yelled really loud, "It's someone looking for Sandy Mick-in-toosh!" and I know she totally heard me....

04-02-2002, 05:58 PM	#12
Marilyn Monroe Diamonds... Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 24, 2001 Location: Where gentlemen actually prefer brunettes Posts: 4,811	my dad always says that they're in spain and tells them to call them back.
	__________________ That certain night, the night we met. There was magic abroad in the air. There were angels dining at the Ritz. And a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square.

04-02-2002, 06:04 PM	#13
Liza BestYearsofOurLives Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 24, 2001 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 6,537	lol, thanks for these. Being on a college campus we get telemarketers ALL the time! This is going to be fun!