I wish I had a relationship with my father like the one Julie and Barbara had with Ed - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

julietx · 05-14-2015, 12:28 AM

Julie and Barbara loved Ed so much. I loved seeing them with him. I have never known what it is like to love your father like that. Barbara got so excited when she answered the phone and it was Ed. Schneider could see the love when he asked her, "you really dig him, don't you?". Julie also was thrilled. I would love to feel that way. I never want my father around. He was emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive to me my whole life. As a kid, I would watch him out the window leaving for work and would hope he would never come back. He always criticized me and made me feel like I wasn't as good as other people. He is negative about everything. If he got mad at me as a kid and even still today, he would hold a grudge and make me suffer for weeks. He wouldn't to me for weeks, and then things would just kind of blow over.

I love the Ed character and wonder if the writers based him on a real person. Of course part of it may also be Joseph Campanella's portrayal. From all accounts, he is a genuinely nice guy in real life. Ed had to be a great father, or Julie and Barbara wouldn't have felt the way they did. Just once I would like to know what it felt like to love your father and enjoy spending time with him. I am so mad because I feel cheated. One thing I like about Ed is that he is not the typical sitcom-fluffy father. He had lots of flaws, He behaves stupidly in the episode where he is broke and gets drunk. Not a good moment for him, but his daughters realize he is human and allow him to be human. I would never expect a perfect father, but I wish I had had one like Ed. I would love to get excited and start jumping up and down when my father came around.

Another thing I liked about Ed was that he spoiled his daughters and was somewhat of a pushover, *but* not a total pushover. He cared enough for his daughters to discipline them, as Ann indicated. Sounds like Ed disciplined the right way because Julie and Barbara didn't hold an occasional spanking against him. Probably only happened once in a blue moon when they had done something horrendous. I'm sure afterwards, they were quickly forgiven and were reassured of his love. My father's idea of discipline was calling me names, putting me down, saying I was stupid, etc. and then staying mad at me for weeks. Either that, or he would call my mother in there to deal with it. Putting discipline all on the other parent is not fair, and how could I respect that?

Does anyone here have a relationship with their father like Julie and Barbara did Ed? What is it like? Must make you feel whole. I feel empty a lot. Sorry for the sappy post, but sometimes TV show characters can strike a cord with you.

Anna Karenina · 05-14-2015, 01:47 AM

I am sorry that you did not have the kind of relationship you wanted with your father. That has got to be very tough to experience a difficult situation like that.

I loved my late father, he was a very kind generous man who spoiled me rotten like Ed did with hid girls. But he was also very up and down emotionally and could act like a screaming lunatic when he didn't get his way.

I don't think most people have a relatively perfect father like Ed. Its a sitcom and they make the characters lovable like that so people can live vicariously through them and tune in each week.

On a side note, I don't see exactly why ANY woman would give up a good hearted, faithful, handsome husband like Ed who is so good to his children. Made no sense to me at all. I could understand if he was an abusive jerk who didn't care about his family but it seemed like if Ann did not wish to be married anymore she could have waited it out a little until the kids were out of high school. To uproot them away from a loving father just because of HER needs was quite selfish in my opinion.

To their credit the show wrote his character very sympathetically, perhaps too much so because its hard to see why Ann had to divorce this genial, sunny man whose biggest crime apparently was that he wanted to be a traditional male who wore the pants in the family, so to speak. Most women would not object to that I don't think as long as his heart was in the right place.

julietx · 05-14-2015, 11:19 AM

I agree about not totally understanding why Ann would divorce Ed. I am a family law attorney, and I handle lots of divorces. I have found that people get divorced for all kinds of reasons. Some are agreed divorces and very civil, and the parents truly have their kids best interests at heart. They just simply can't be married anymore. On the flip side, I have seen divorces where one party is very abusive to their spouse and sometimes the kids. And yes, women can be abusers too. I agree that perhaps the writers wrote Ed a little too good because it made the audience wonder why in the world Ann would divorce him. Ed was wonderful other than wanting to control things, and I don't get the feeling that he tried to control things in a bad, negative kind of way. As you said, his heart was in the right place.

All he wanted was the best for Ann and his daughters. I am a woman, and I can understand that Ann would want to be her own person and be independent, etc., but Ed never treated her badly. He supported his family, he didn't abuse them, he loved and nurtured them. Heck, what else can you ask for? I think that Ed and Ann's marriage started out being a certain way, and Ed just couldn't change and couldn't transition once Ann got older and wanted to be more independent. It would be different if he had treated her badly with his controlling ways, but he didn't. I agree that if Ann wanted out of the marriage that she could have waited until Julie and Barbara were grown before she left. We're only talking a few more years. Ann would have still been a young woman. I realize that 40 in 1980 was a lot older than 40 is in 2015 but still. I bet Ed would be a good husband IF he married a woman who was already independent and knew who she was as a person. It sounds like Vicki controlled him. He was afraid to tell her he was out of money. Still wish Ed was my father!! What girl wouldn't want a father like that?

ThomasE · 05-14-2015, 09:25 PM

Bless your heart, JulieTX.

liane49 · 07-10-2015, 03:10 PM

My father wasn't so great the last few years of his life so I can relate and he played favorites with my middle sister.

Retro4Life · 07-10-2015, 06:23 PM

Somewhat off topic, forgive me, but did anyone else note the age difference between the two? It always seemed as if Ed was MUCH older than Ann, and that can create issues, too (though some people navigate it well).

In real life, Campenella was 19 years older than Franklin.

Bonniegirl · 07-10-2015, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retro4Life

Somewhat off topic, forgive me, but did anyone else note the age difference between the two? It always seemed as if Ed was MUCH older than Ann, and that can create issues, too (though some people navigate it well).

In real life, Campenella was 19 years older than Franklin.

Oh yeah! That was the point. Ann felt like she was trapped, never had her independence going right from her Father to marrying an older man!

05-14-2015, 12:28 AM	#1
julietx Member Occasional Poster Join Date: May 03, 2015 Posts: 90	I wish I had a relationship with my father like the one Julie and Barbara had with Ed Julie and Barbara loved Ed so much. I loved seeing them with him. I have never known what it is like to love your father like that. Barbara got so excited when she answered the phone and it was Ed. Schneider could see the love when he asked her, "you really dig him, don't you?". Julie also was thrilled. I would love to feel that way. I never want my father around. He was emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive to me my whole life. As a kid, I would watch him out the window leaving for work and would hope he would never come back. He always criticized me and made me feel like I wasn't as good as other people. He is negative about everything. If he got mad at me as a kid and even still today, he would hold a grudge and make me suffer for weeks. He wouldn't to me for weeks, and then things would just kind of blow over. I love the Ed character and wonder if the writers based him on a real person. Of course part of it may also be Joseph Campanella's portrayal. From all accounts, he is a genuinely nice guy in real life. Ed had to be a great father, or Julie and Barbara wouldn't have felt the way they did. Just once I would like to know what it felt like to love your father and enjoy spending time with him. I am so mad because I feel cheated. One thing I like about Ed is that he is not the typical sitcom-fluffy father. He had lots of flaws, He behaves stupidly in the episode where he is broke and gets drunk. Not a good moment for him, but his daughters realize he is human and allow him to be human. I would never expect a perfect father, but I wish I had had one like Ed. I would love to get excited and start jumping up and down when my father came around. Another thing I liked about Ed was that he spoiled his daughters and was somewhat of a pushover, but not a total pushover. He cared enough for his daughters to discipline them, as Ann indicated. Sounds like Ed disciplined the right way because Julie and Barbara didn't hold an occasional spanking against him. Probably only happened once in a blue moon when they had done something horrendous. I'm sure afterwards, they were quickly forgiven and were reassured of his love. My father's idea of discipline was calling me names, putting me down, saying I was stupid, etc. and then staying mad at me for weeks. Either that, or he would call my mother in there to deal with it. Putting discipline all on the other parent is not fair, and how could I respect that? Does anyone here have a relationship with their father like Julie and Barbara did Ed? What is it like? Must make you feel whole. I feel empty a lot. Sorry for the sappy post, but sometimes TV show characters can strike a cord with you.

05-14-2015, 09:25 PM	#4
ThomasE Member Moderator Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 04, 2000 Location: New York, New York, U.S.A. Posts: 10,857	Bless your heart, JulieTX.
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07-10-2015, 06:23 PM	#6
Retro4Life Accept No Substitutes Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 04, 2009 Location: IL Posts: 6,708	Somewhat off topic, forgive me, but did anyone else note the age difference between the two? It always seemed as if Ed was MUCH older than Ann, and that can create issues, too (though some people navigate it well). In real life, Campenella was 19 years older than Franklin.
	__________________ Alex Reiger :[Trying to convince Louie not to antagonize Bobby] "It's not hard to make people feel bad about their lives. What's hard is making people feel good about their lives."

05-14-2015, 01:47 AM	#2
Anna Karenina Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 09, 2006 Posts: 10,086	I am sorry that you did not have the kind of relationship you wanted with your father. That has got to be very tough to experience a difficult situation like that. I loved my late father, he was a very kind generous man who spoiled me rotten like Ed did with hid girls. But he was also very up and down emotionally and could act like a screaming lunatic when he didn't get his way. I don't think most people have a relatively perfect father like Ed. Its a sitcom and they make the characters lovable like that so people can live vicariously through them and tune in each week. On a side note, I don't see exactly why ANY woman would give up a good hearted, faithful, handsome husband like Ed who is so good to his children. Made no sense to me at all. I could understand if he was an abusive jerk who didn't care about his family but it seemed like if Ann did not wish to be married anymore she could have waited it out a little until the kids were out of high school. To uproot them away from a loving father just because of HER needs was quite selfish in my opinion. To their credit the show wrote his character very sympathetically, perhaps too much so because its hard to see why Ann had to divorce this genial, sunny man whose biggest crime apparently was that he wanted to be a traditional male who wore the pants in the family, so to speak. Most women would not object to that I don't think as long as his heart was in the right place.

05-14-2015, 11:19 AM	#3
julietx Member Occasional Poster Join Date: May 03, 2015 Posts: 90	I agree about not totally understanding why Ann would divorce Ed. I am a family law attorney, and I handle lots of divorces. I have found that people get divorced for all kinds of reasons. Some are agreed divorces and very civil, and the parents truly have their kids best interests at heart. They just simply can't be married anymore. On the flip side, I have seen divorces where one party is very abusive to their spouse and sometimes the kids. And yes, women can be abusers too. I agree that perhaps the writers wrote Ed a little too good because it made the audience wonder why in the world Ann would divorce him. Ed was wonderful other than wanting to control things, and I don't get the feeling that he tried to control things in a bad, negative kind of way. As you said, his heart was in the right place. All he wanted was the best for Ann and his daughters. I am a woman, and I can understand that Ann would want to be her own person and be independent, etc., but Ed never treated her badly. He supported his family, he didn't abuse them, he loved and nurtured them. Heck, what else can you ask for? I think that Ed and Ann's marriage started out being a certain way, and Ed just couldn't change and couldn't transition once Ann got older and wanted to be more independent. It would be different if he had treated her badly with his controlling ways, but he didn't. I agree that if Ann wanted out of the marriage that she could have waited until Julie and Barbara were grown before she left. We're only talking a few more years. Ann would have still been a young woman. I realize that 40 in 1980 was a lot older than 40 is in 2015 but still. I bet Ed would be a good husband IF he married a woman who was already independent and knew who she was as a person. It sounds like Vicki controlled him. He was afraid to tell her he was out of money. Still wish Ed was my father!! What girl wouldn't want a father like that?

07-10-2015, 03:10 PM	#5
liane49 Member Senior Member Join Date: Feb 20, 2013 Location: Silver Spring, MD Posts: 1,011	My father wasn't so great the last few years of his life so I can relate and he played favorites with my middle sister.