A Honeymooners Easter:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Alice is in the kitchen.)

Alice: "Ralph, let me see you."

Ralph (from bedroom, yells): "GET READY! I'M COMING OUT!"

(Ralph comes out dressed as the Easter Bunny. His Easter Bunny costume is loud.)

Ralph: "What do you think?"

Alice: "I think you are nuts wearing that loud costume."

Ralph: "Yes, me and Norton are ready to greet kids near the Sears store in the Newport Mall in Jersey City."

(Ed comes down dressed as the Easter Bunny. Crowd applauds.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say there Ralph?"

(Ed looks at Ralph.)

Ralph: "What do you think?"

Ed: "Let me have some time to drink this whole thing in. It is like looking at Boulder Dam for the first time."

Ralph: "Norton, the kids at the mall are going to think that we are a riot."

Ed: "Yes, just the other day I participated in the Easter Egg Roll. I was the only adult to participate."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "Norton, you are a full-grown nut."

Alice: "Wait a minute Ralph. What about the fact that you did the same thing and you were the slowest of all the participants in the Easter Egg Roll."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

Ed: "Hey Ralph, what about the time when we were bunnies during Easter time and when we were greeting kids, McGarrity saw you and laughed at you."

Ralph (yells): "NEVER MIND THAT!"

Ed: "I can't wait to see those kids. I am a kid at heart."

Ralph: "Oh, I know that Norton. You also have a kid-brain. Let's go."

(They go to the Newport Town Centre [yeah that is how Newport spells Center] to greet kids.)

Ralph: "Norton, there is that BUM! Joe Rumsey."

Ed: "Is his last name Munsey or Rumsey?"

Ralph: "Rumsey. He is infringing on our turf. Time to mark our spot. I don't want to change locations due to that BUM even though our employer for this part time job says we can set up camp anywhere."

(Ralph & Ed greet kids. Kids are split between Rumsey and Ralph and Ed.)

Joe (yells): "HEY KRAMDEN! MOVE TO YOUR OWN SPOT."

Ralph (yells): "I WILL NOT YOU BUM!"

(Kids gasp.)

Joe (yells): "I GOT HERE FIRST."

Ralph (yells): "TOO BAD. I LIKE THE SEARS STORE OVER HERE MORE."

Joe (yells): "MOVE AWAY YOU FAT BUM!"

Ralph (yells): "OOOOH, BANG ZOOM! COME ON PUT 'EM UP! PUT 'EM UP!"

(They get into a fight. The kids are surprised to see two Easter Bunnies fighting.)

(Alice visits Ralph in jail as him and Joe got jailed. Ralph has two black eyes.)

Alice: "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Ralph (yells): "I GOT A BIIIIIIIIG MOUTH."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "To all the kids in the crowd, the real Easter Bunny is going to be outside to greet you all."

(Kids cheer.)

Jackie: "Lets introduce the main cast. Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Aud comes on stage and kisses Jackie.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack's hand.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach Easter's are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)