Episode Reviews: “The Turkey” & “Sprained Thumb” (’52 version):

[Frank Gannucci]

Episode Reviews: “The Turkey” & “Sprained Thumb” (’52 version):

Episode #25
TV: Not shown on TV.
DVD: Attached to “Bread”, “Razor Blades”, “New TV Set”, “Ralph Threatens To Leave”, “Alice & Ralph Get Dressed For A Date Last Night” (aka “The Dance”), “The Ring Salesman” (’51 version), “Quiz Show” (’51 version), “Xmas Party” (’51 version), “The New Bowling Ball”, “Lost Baby”, “Quiz Show” (’52 version), “Halloween Party” (’52 version), “Cold”, “Pickles”, “Jellybeans” & “Six Months To Live” (’51 version).

A print of this episode surfaced to the world for the first time in ages on Ebay in 2009. It was released onto DVD in 2011. For obvious reasons, this episode doesn’t look like it was digitally remastered.

Ralph comes home and complains about that he doesn’t know how long he can go on driving a bus. He complains about people going in and out of the wrong doors. Alice says that she lost her wedding ring. Ralph is angry. Ralph says that they should be calm. He asks Alice to remember what she did all day. When she gets to the part about going to her mom’s, Ralph says that the case is solved. Ralph says that Alice helped her mom wash the dishes and as a result, lost the wedding ring when she put in the garbage accidentally and know the ring is somewhere off the coast of Canarsie.

Alice says that she distinctly remembers coming home and taking off the ring and putting it on the dresser. She looked everyplace else. Ralph goes to look for the ring and finds a turkey. Alice says that her club is having turkey raffle this afternoon. Mr. Howard won it and it is his turkey. It is a live turkey. Mr. Howard is going to come and get the turkey. Ralph thinks that the turkey swallowed the ring. Alice says that that is impossible. Ralph disagrees.

Ed comes down. Ralph explains that the turkey and ate her wedding ring. Ralph wants to kill the turkey to get the ring out. When Alice asks Ralph what is Mr. Howard going to do if he sees a dead turkey, Ed says that the turkey left the cage and committed suicide. Ha! Ralph gives Ed $20 to go get a live turkey. Somehow, I think a live turkey would cost more today. Ed leaves. Ralph asks Alice to kill the turkey because he doesn’t want to. Alice doesn’t want to. Ralph has an idea. He puts pepper on a piece of paper and tries to put the pepper near the turkey so the turkey will cough up the ring. (What?) Ralph puts the paper with the pepper near the turkey. Care to guess what happens next? If you guessed Ralph sneezing, you are right. Alice: “What happened?” Ralph: “He blew first.” Ralph says that that ring is a symbol of their love. Alice says that that Ralph is acting like a maniac.

Ed comes in with another live turkey. The turkey, much like the other one is a real one. Ed says that the turkey only costed $17. Wow! Mr. Howard comes in. Mr. Howard goes to get the turkey. Ralph doesn’t know which turkey is real one that Mr. Howard won. Ralph talks to Ed in “private.” He asks Ed which one is his. Ed: “Yours is the one with the ring in it.” Ralph: “How could I tell?” Ed: “Shake them.” How Mr. Howard can’t hear this is mind-blowing. Ralph tries to give Mr. Howard $5 so he can get a turkey. Ed chimes in and says that it costs $17. He gives him the $17 and leaves. Ralph says that Alice costs him $34 and blames Alice.

Trixie comes in to tell Ed that dinner is ready and to give Alice back her ring. She found it on the dresser and thought it wasn’t safe there. The Nortons leave. Ed: “Now you will never find out which one is yours.” Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives him. They hug and kiss.

Episode #26
VHS & DVD: Hasn’t been released.

This is an earlier version of the ’53 sketch. This early version is still lost but I think the script for this episode is the same as the later version.

Ralph hurt his thumb in a bus accident. Due to the accident earlier in the day, he sprained his thumb and because of that, she is waiting on Ralph hand & foot. Trixie comes down. Alice explains what happened to Ralph to Trix. Alice is waiting on him because complications may set in. Trixie: “Men are such babies when they are sick. Remember that virus epidemic a couple of years ago? Ed was so scared he would catch it. He stayed in bed for three days and he wanted me to wait on him hand and foot. I even did things like go to the supermarket. He didn’t get the virus. I don’t understand how he didn’t get it because I had it all the time.” Ralph had Alice call the doctor twice and the doctor has yet to come over. The company doctor may have examined him and said that Ralph has a sprained thumb so Ralph doesn’t trust him. Ralph comes out with his bath robe on and asks Alice to change the bandage on his thumb. Wow! Alice: “The doctor said it is nothing. You don’t even need a bandage.” Ralph: “Nothing?” Trixie: “How long did you lay on the street before they had to move you?” Alice said that the thumb will be all right by tomorrow. Ralph doesn’t believe him. Ralph: “Complications may set in.” Ralph says a story on how one of his brothers, Freddie, skinned his knee. The doctor said it was nothing. The doctor put some mercurochrome on it and said he would be back to work tomorrow. 15 years later and Freddie hasn’t been back to work yet.

Alice changes the bandage. She does it with ease. Ralph is concerned about the swelling. He runs the thumb under hot water. He turns on the sink and the “hot water” comes down on his finger. Of course, you can tell that no water dropped from the faucet. Ralph screams in pain due to the hot water. Ralph asks for ice water to help the swelling. Alice gets a jar of ice water. Ralph puts his hand in it. The pain is much better but he can’t get his hand out. Butter on his hand doesn’t work so; he smashes the glass jar that has his hand with the sprained thumb. Parts of the glass fall on the floor and Ralph (who is supposedly barefoot) steps on them and hurts his foot.

Ralph wonders where the doctor is. Alice told the doctor exactly what his condition was. Ralph: “We got rid of that doctor. I remember once when I was deathly sick so I called him. By the time he came by, I was better.” Alice goes upstairs to use Trixie’s phone. Ed comes down. Ralph explains what happened. Ed: “You should drive your bus on the side streets.” Ralph: “The doctor told me that I sprained my thumb. But complications may set in.” Ed agrees. He tells a story about a man he knew that had a car accident 20 years ago and is still suffering. Ed: “He married a nurse.” Ever since that accident this morning, his neck has been a little stiff. Ed tries to help out by straightening Ralph’s head. Supposedly that made Ralph’s neck lean his head to his shoulder. Ralph screams in pain. Ed tries to scare Ralph. It actually works. Alice comes down with the news that the doctor is one his way. Ed leaves.

Alice is very worn out. Ralph says that she has no right to be worn out and he does because he has the sprained thumb. The doctor (played by George Petrie) comes down. He examines Ralph’s thumb and his ribs because Ralph thought he broke some ribs in the accident. The doctor says that all he has is a sprained thumb. He looks at Alice and says that she is run down and almost exhausted. He says that she should go straight to bed and asks Ralph to not let her do anything. Ralph says to the doctor that he will take good care of her. The doctor leaves. Ralph says that he has been complaining all about a sprained thumb all the while Alice is the one who is sick. Ralph apologizes to Alice. They hug and kiss.