Favorite Quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

AtlantaBravesFan29 · 11-13-2002, 11:52 AM

Do you have any favorite Sanford and Son Quotes???
Here are some!!!

Mrs. Eckerd: Just what this place needs new blood
(Fred Makes A Face Like Hers)
Mrs. Eckerd: You know we're fully integrated here!!
Fred: I know you're fully something!!!
Mrs. Eckerd: And what have we in our bag???
Fred: I don't know what we have in our bag, I know what I have in MY bag!!!
Mrs. Eckerd: I mean, is it full of clothes and miscellaneous???
Fred: No, it's full of wine bottles and a cockscrew, didn't my son tell you I'm a wino!!!

Esther: I just came over here to bring Lamont some of my homemade preserves!! Now where do you want me to put them???
(Fred Gives Esther A Look)
Esther: Watch It!!!!!

Fred: I don't know where you're going,but I know where she's(Aunt Esther) going!!!
Esther: Gladly, I've had stomach cramps that I've enjoyed better than you!! I don't know why I stay in this house!!!

DarleneIllyria · 11-13-2002, 08:54 PM

lol

I think my fave. quote is from the will episode. The whole episode is just hilarious to me. Fred is causing a commotion on the plane and he yells at the guy staring at him, "What the hell's wrong with you? Ain't you never seen a man having a heart attack before?" It went something like that. I die laughing everytime I hear it. lol

AtlantaBravesFan29 · 11-14-2002, 11:16 AM

Me too!!!

That's also one of my favorite episodes as well,where Fred has a whole bunch of jewelry to ward off bad luck and he makes up all kinds of excuses and everything and when they get to St. Louis they end up getting almost nothing except for the money for the plane trip back!!!

Here's some quotes from that episode!!!

Lamont: You have never been on a plane before
Fred: Or a plane crash either
Lamont: And you're 66 years old
Fred: And I'm going to live to be 67

Fred(On The Plane Talking To The Man Smoking): Hey, Man, do you see that sign that says "No Smoking",put your cigarette out???
Man(He's Taller Than Fred Showing Him Standing Up): You talking to me???
Fred: No No No!!(Talks To Other Guy Next To Him): Hey, Man,do you see that sign that says "No Smoking"??? You're a good guy, Moose!!!

Fred: I want an emergency window and an oxygen mask(Asks Lamont If He Wants One),make that two emergency windows and oxygen masks!!!

Lamont: There's a lot of good food on here like Lobster Cantonese, Chicken,a lot of good stuff!!
Fred: Then I won't be needing these chicken wings
Lamont: What did you bring them for???
Fred: They probably need some in the back!!(Lamont begs Fred not to yell)!!! Anybody here want some chicken wings??? Chicken wings,fool!!!

Lamont: You're disrupting this plane with your silly antics
Fred: I'm gonna put up your(engine makes lots of noise)...

DarleneIllyria · 11-14-2002, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BravesFan712002
Me too!!! That's also one of my favorite episodes as well,where Fred has a whole bunch of jewelry to ward off bad luck and he makes up all kinds of excuses and everything and when they get to St. Louis they end up getting almost nothing except for the money for the plane trip back!!!

Here's some quotes from that episode!!!

Lamont: You have never been on a plane before
Fred: Or a plane crash either
Lamont: And you're 66 years old
Fred: And I'm going to live to be 67

Fred(On The Plane Talking To The Man Smoking): Hey, Man, do you see that sign that says "No Smoking",put your cigarette out???
Man(He's Taller Than Fred Showing Him Standing Up): You talking to me???
Fred: No No No!!(Talks To Other Guy Next To Him): Hey, Man,do you see that sign that says "No Smoking"??? You're a good guy, Moose!!!

Fred: I want an emergency window and an oxygen mask(Asks Lamont If He Wants One),make that two emergency windows and oxygen masks!!!

Lamont: There's a lot of good food on here like Lobster Cantonese, Chicken,a lot of good stuff!!
Fred: Then I won't be needing these chicken wings
Lamont: What did you bring them for???
Fred: They probably need some in the back!!(Lamont begs Fred not to yell)!!! Anybody here want some chicken wings??? Chicken wings,fool!!!

Lamont: You're disrupting this plane with your silly antics
Fred: I'm gonna put up your(engine makes lots of noise)...

:roflmao: I love all those quotes. My favorite one that you listed above has to be the chicken wing quote.

AtlantaBravesFan29 · 11-14-2002, 04:42 PM

Here's another funny quote that Lamont used a lot in the early years

Lamont(Talking To Fred): You know,you're a dirty old man!!
Fred: And I'll be one till I'm a dead old man

DarleneIllyria · 11-14-2002, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BravesFan712002
Here's another funny quote that Lamont used a lot in the early years

Lamont(Talking To Fred): You know,you're a dirty old man!!
Fred: And I'll be one till I'm a dead old man

lol! I love that one too.

TVFactFan · 11-14-2002, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jenny

lol! I love that one too.

Here is my favorite quote.

Grady: Fred I think I'm in love

Fred: How can you be sure Grady?

Grday: Fred I have this warm feeling around my heart

Fred: Grady that ain't love, that's GAS!-

LOL LOL I love this quote.

DarleneIllyria · 11-14-2002, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SOLOMON

Here is my favorite quote.

Grady: Fred I think I'm in love

Fred: How can you be sure Grady?

Grday: Fred I have this warm feeling around my heart

Fred: Grady that ain't love, that's GAS!-

LOL LOL I love this quote.

roflmao

I really need to get out my S & S tapes so I can watch them again. I can't even remember some of the quotes I liked. I'm enjoying reading the ones everybody else posts though.

TVFactFan · 11-14-2002, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jenny

roflmao

I really need to get out my S & S tapes so I can watch them again. I can't even remember some of the quotes I liked. I'm enjoying reading the ones everybody else posts though.

Here is a quote from Fred on the spinoff "Sanford"-with Fred and the Heavy guy Cal trying to lose weight

Cal: Fred I need some grease, I need the some salt i can't take it ANYMORE!!

Fred: You know that saying you sure are beautiful when you get mad?

Cal: YEAH What About it?

Fred: That ain't go nothing to do with you

I think i may watch this episode tonight-LOL

DarleneIllyria · 11-14-2002, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SOLOMON

Here is a quote from Fred on the spinoff "Sanford"-with Fred and the Heavy guy Cal trying to lose weight

Cal: Fred I need some grease, I need the some salt i can't take it ANYMORE!!

Fred: You know that saying you sure are beautiful when you get mad?

Cal: YEAH What About it?

Fred: That ain't go nothing to do with you

I think i may watch this episode tonight-LOL

lol

Thanks for posting the quote Solomon. I've never seen the Sanford spinoff. You think that show will ever get on TVL?

TVFactFan · 11-14-2002, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jenny

lol

Thanks for posting the quote Solomon. I've never seen the Sanford spinoff. You think that show will ever get on TVL?

It's a poosibilty it may be on TV LAND but not N@N or TBS. Most of the episodes I have are from BET which was shown in the early 90's.

DarleneIllyria · 11-14-2002, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SOLOMON

It's a poosibilty it may be on TV LAND but not N@N or TBS. Most of the episodes I have are from BET which was shown in the early 90's.

I see what you meant about N @ N and TBS. TBS seems to be acquiring the new shows that are still on the air and N @ N seems to be getting TBS' hand me downs. So I guess whatever shows up on TBS, we can expect to see on N @ N in the future. Ugh....

AtlantaBravesFan29 · 11-15-2002, 12:08 PM

Here's some more quotes I have thought of:

This one comes from the episode where Fred meets Lena Horne!!!

Fred: You know I betcha you never guess who I met at the TV Station!!
Lamont: Johnny Carson
Fred: No No!! A she,the first lady of my dreams!!!
Lamont: Pat Nixon
Fred: No, if you're going to be kidding around,I'll tell you, I met Lena Horne
Lamont: You met Lena Horne,Pop,have you been in the apple jack again??
Fred: No, not only that, she's coming here tonight
Lamont: What did you say???
Fred: She's coming here tonight,you don't believe me,do you???
Lamont: Oh, I believe you, she's coming here accompanied by Duke Ellington's band, the Jackson Five,and Chubby Checker,"Hi, Remember Me"(Lamont does his imitation of the Twist)!!!

TVFactFan · 11-15-2002, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jenny

I see what you meant about N @ N and TBS. TBS seems to be acquiring the new shows that are still on the air and N @ N seems to be getting TBS' hand me downs. So I guess whatever shows up on TBS, we can expect to see on N @ N in the future. Ugh....

Here is another Classic Fred Sanford quote from Sanford.

Aunt Esther: Get the marriage license Fred because seeing is believing

Fred: No it ain't

Aunt Esther: Why you say that?

Fred: Because I have been seeing you for years and I still don't believe it

LOL LOL

DarleneIllyria · 11-15-2002, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SOLOMON

Here is another Classic Fred Sanford quote from Sanford.

Aunt Esther: Get the marriage license Fred because seeing is believing

Fred: No it ain't

Aunt Esther: Why you say that?

Fred: Because I have been seeing you for years and I still don't believe it

LOL LOL

lol

Fred and Aunt Esther had excellent chemistry together. Fred had the best insults for Esther and Esther always had the best comebacks. lol

11-13-2002, 11:52 AM	#1
AtlantaBravesFan29 Atlanta Braves Fan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 13, 2002 Location: Pleasanton,TX--40 Miles South Of San Antonio Posts: 1,859	Favorite Quotes Do you have any favorite Sanford and Son Quotes??? Here are some!!! Mrs. Eckerd: Just what this place needs new blood (Fred Makes A Face Like Hers) Mrs. Eckerd: You know we're fully integrated here!! Fred: I know you're fully something!!! Mrs. Eckerd: And what have we in our bag??? Fred: I don't know what we have in our bag, I know what I have in MY bag!!! Mrs. Eckerd: I mean, is it full of clothes and miscellaneous??? Fred: No, it's full of wine bottles and a cockscrew, didn't my son tell you I'm a wino!!! Esther: I just came over here to bring Lamont some of my homemade preserves!! Now where do you want me to put them??? (Fred Gives Esther A Look) Esther: Watch It!!!!! Fred: I don't know where you're going,but I know where she's(Aunt Esther) going!!! Esther: Gladly, I've had stomach cramps that I've enjoyed better than you!! I don't know why I stay in this house!!!
	Last edited by AtlantaBravesFan29; 11-13-2002 at 11:55 AM.

11-15-2002, 12:08 PM	#13
AtlantaBravesFan29 Atlanta Braves Fan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 13, 2002 Location: Pleasanton,TX--40 Miles South Of San Antonio Posts: 1,859	Some More Funny Quotes Here's some more quotes I have thought of: This one comes from the episode where Fred meets Lena Horne!!! Fred: You know I betcha you never guess who I met at the TV Station!! Lamont: Johnny Carson Fred: No No!! A she,the first lady of my dreams!!! Lamont: Pat Nixon Fred: No, if you're going to be kidding around,I'll tell you, I met Lena Horne Lamont: You met Lena Horne,Pop,have you been in the apple jack again?? Fred: No, not only that, she's coming here tonight Lamont: What did you say??? Fred: She's coming here tonight,you don't believe me,do you??? Lamont: Oh, I believe you, she's coming here accompanied by Duke Ellington's band, the Jackson Five,and Chubby Checker,"Hi, Remember Me"(Lamont does his imitation of the Twist)!!!

11-13-2002, 08:54 PM	#2
DarleneIllyria Gone Forum Star Join Date: Oct 15, 2000 Posts: 19,086	lol I think my fave. quote is from the will episode. The whole episode is just hilarious to me. Fred is causing a commotion on the plane and he yells at the guy staring at him, "What the hell's wrong with you? Ain't you never seen a man having a heart attack before?" It went something like that. I die laughing everytime I hear it. lol

11-14-2002, 11:16 AM	#3
AtlantaBravesFan29 Atlanta Braves Fan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 13, 2002 Location: Pleasanton,TX--40 Miles South Of San Antonio Posts: 1,859	Me too!!! That's also one of my favorite episodes as well,where Fred has a whole bunch of jewelry to ward off bad luck and he makes up all kinds of excuses and everything and when they get to St. Louis they end up getting almost nothing except for the money for the plane trip back!!! Here's some quotes from that episode!!! Lamont: You have never been on a plane before Fred: Or a plane crash either Lamont: And you're 66 years old Fred: And I'm going to live to be 67 Fred(On The Plane Talking To The Man Smoking): Hey, Man, do you see that sign that says "No Smoking",put your cigarette out??? Man(He's Taller Than Fred Showing Him Standing Up): You talking to me??? Fred: No No No!!(Talks To Other Guy Next To Him): Hey, Man,do you see that sign that says "No Smoking"??? You're a good guy, Moose!!! Fred: I want an emergency window and an oxygen mask(Asks Lamont If He Wants One),make that two emergency windows and oxygen masks!!! Lamont: There's a lot of good food on here like Lobster Cantonese, Chicken,a lot of good stuff!! Fred: Then I won't be needing these chicken wings Lamont: What did you bring them for??? Fred: They probably need some in the back!!(Lamont begs Fred not to yell)!!! Anybody here want some chicken wings??? Chicken wings,fool!!! Lamont: You're disrupting this plane with your silly antics Fred: I'm gonna put up your(engine makes lots of noise)...

11-14-2002, 04:42 PM	#5
AtlantaBravesFan29 Atlanta Braves Fan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 13, 2002 Location: Pleasanton,TX--40 Miles South Of San Antonio Posts: 1,859	Here's another funny quote that Lamont used a lot in the early years Lamont(Talking To Fred): You know,you're a dirty old man!! Fred: And I'll be one till I'm a dead old man