Favorite Quotes from each Character

[Mark Mallard]

The Office is one of those shows that thrives off of those little golden moments with each individual character to make its audience constantly come back for more- I suppose that's true of every show, but with The Office, it works tremendously well. I find myself quoting little things from various Office characters with my brother all the time! What are some of your favorite quotes from each individual character? We will start with one character each week or so and continue until we've covered the major characters. For this week, we will cover Michael G. Scott! Here are some of my favorites from The Man himself:

Michael Scott

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Both- I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

"No, it's great- I love working at Dunder Mifflin, a division of Taliban Enterprises."

"I love this WOMAAAAAAAN!!"

"Jan and I are lovers!"

"WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!?!?!"

"You don't even KNOW the meaning of the word stupid! It's about to get all STUPID UP IN HERE!!"

(after his fight at the karate house with Dwight) "You talkin' ta me? You talkin' ta me?"

(after being chastised by Charles Miner to stop talking about people's sexual history) "Well that's great, Charles, because we've come to Kevin, and he has no sexual history!"

(upon seeing Stanley come down the stairs for the basketball game) "Secret WEAPON!!"

(after Oscar offers to play in the basketball game) "Well, we will need your talents come baseball season, my friend."

(when Pam gives a halfhearted effort in Michael's version of diversity training) "Stir the melting pot, Pam! Come on, let's get in this! Let's get ugly!"

"Mr. Brown? He insulted us....and abandoned us. You call that diversity training? I don't!"

"In old times, gay meant happy. In my day, gay meant LAME."

"Toby Flenderson is everything that's WRONG with the paper industry today."

(when Toby offers Michael a space in his hotel room) "You will be sleeping alone for the rest of your life, so, might as well get used to it."

"When I am backed into a corner, that is when I come alive."

"Well, I have here the original instant message- gift baskets with letters attached."

"If you so much as harm a hair on Stanley's head.....we will burn Utica to the ground."

(talking about his wanted ad for a Stanley replacement) "Looking for a large black man with sass."

"Oscar, you're gay- BOOM! ROASTED!"

"Angela, I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. BOOM! ROASTED!"

(imitating Pam after Jim says that she has a shrill voice in the mornings) "Jiiiiiiiim! Come take out the garbage!"

"I am not superstitious- however, I am a little 'stitious."

(singing the "Goodbye Toby" parody) "Toby's going away!! He's outta here! See ya!"

(during he and Dwight's fake safety training skit) "Dwight, you ignorant slut!"

"Baler? I hardly knew her."

(talking to a former client about his daughter) "Oh, and don't let Emily have any of the nuts- she's allergic."

(walks out of the women's restroom after stopping off the road with Andy) "The men's room was disgusting."

(after Andy annoys Michael with his pesky weekend planning) "No! I don't wanna do any of that."

(talking about Phyllis at her wedding) "Now, she's looking kind of matronly today, but I promise, in high school her nickname was Easy Rider."

(making a spoof of Jan's "Bonfire" candle scent) "Bond-fire! James Bond-fire!"

(making a spoof of David Bowie's song "Suffragette City") "Pam, Pam, thank you, Pam!"

"Hey, hey, hey....it's Faaaaaaaaaat Halpert!"

(prank calling Ryan) "Ryan! It's Michael Jackson!"