A Honeymooners Father's Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph is being dragged by Alice so to speak to a restuarant.)

Alice: "Come on Ralph. You promised that you would go with me."

(Ralph is all upset.)

Ralph: "Why do I have to be here Alice? This is yoru Dad. Not mine."

Alice: "You said that you would accompany me to my Dad's Father's Day dinner with my parents...Oh, look. Here they come."

(Alice's parents come by.)

Alice's Dad: "Hiya Alice!"

Alice: "Happy Father's Day Dad."

Ralph (sounding very unenthused): "Happy Father's Day!"

Alice's Mom: "Hi Alice! Hello Ralph. Promise me you won't eat all the food in here like a elephant like you usually do."

(Ralph's face looks meaner.)

(They all go inside and sit down.)

Alice's Dad: "What a great day this has been. Ralph, you and Alice should be parents. I think you would make a great dad."

(Ralph's face has the "I Know" look.)

Ralph: "Thank you. I certainly would love to become a father. Everytime I think that Alice is pregnant, I get sad. How about the times I tried to adopt a kid only to find out that we had to give the kid back because the mother wanted them back."

Alice: "That is true."

Ralph: "I know that any kid would love playing with my friend, Norton. He's a kid himself."

(The Nortons come in with Ed's parents much to everyone's surprise.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph and Alice?"

Trixie: "Hello Alice."

Ed: "I would like for everyone to meet my parents. Especially my Dad. He got me the job that I got which is working in the sewer."

(Everyone has a sick look on thier face because they were eating their dinners at the time Ed said that. Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Trixie: "Ed, everyone is eating."

Ed: "So?"

Ed's Dad: "My son gave me a real gift. A replica of a NYC manhole cover."

Ralph: "Before we all lose our dinners, I have to say this. A Father is one of the toughest jobs in the world but it is also one of the greatest. Me and Norton should be dads. I think that all of us are and should be great parents especially if we see our kids graduate from college. and get a better life."

(Ed blows his nose.)

Ed: "Sort of gets your right in here in the heart."

Ralph: "Yes sir. Fatherhood is great."

(They all sing a song about Fatherhood.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. I want to wish a Happy Father's Day to everyone. I am so proud of my own kids and step kids. They make me very proud to be a Dad."

(Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"

(Crowd cheers.)