A Honeymooners Memorial Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are packing a car. They are going to Point Pleasant Beach, NJ.)

Ralph: "I hope that this car that I rented from Freddie Muller is good. I can't wait to go see Todd Pettingill from WPLJ doing his show on Memorial Day on Point Pleasant Beach."

Ed: "Yeah, too bad that he couldn't chose another beach like Miami Beach."

(Audience cheers.)

Ralph: "Yeah, that is too bad." (yells): "ALICE, WILL YOU COME ON?"

(Alice & Trixie come out.)

Alice: "Ralph, are you sure that Todd is broadcasting his show today?"

Ralph: "Absolutely. I am right. I can't wait to see his show on Memorial Day. What a way to kick off the summer."

Ed: "I agree. On Friday, me and the rest of the sewerworkers that I work with had a barbeque that was washed out to the tide that came in."

(Ralph rolls his eyes. They all get in the car.)

Ralph: "Okay, as a certain comedian says: 'AND AWAY WE GO!'"

(Audience cheers as they leave.)

(On the highway as they reach the tollbooth, the car breaks down.)

Ralph: "What horrible luck."

Alice: "Ralph, I hope you were paying attention to the gas gauge."

Trixie: "I hope so too."

Ed: "Don't worry. I told Ralph that when the gas gauge stops pointing at E, we should pull over and get gas."

(Ralph facepalms.)

Ralph: "You stupe. E stands for Empty."

Alice: "Ralph, this is all your fault."

(Horns are honking.)

Man: "Hey man, come on."

(Ralph & Ed and the girls puch the car into the tollbooth.)

Ralph: "All right Norton. Give me the EZPass."

Ed: "I thought you had it."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, I AM GOING TO FRACTURE YOUR SKULL. NOW WE ARE STUCK."

Alice: "Ralph, I have it."

Ralph: "It's a good thing that Alice has it or I would have made you walk home and get it."

(After pushing the car out of the tollbooth and into a gas station, they get gas and than resume to drive. Ed is laughing.)

Ralph: 'What are you laughing at?"

Ed: "I got to laugh at the expression on people's faces when we pushed the car about one mile to the gas station."

Ralph: "What a way to kick off Memorial Day. What a bad way. Next thing you know, the tire is going to blow out."

(After approaching a tollbooth, a tire blows out.)

Ralph: "Help me Norton."

(They push the car out of the tollbooth and onto the side.)

Ralph: "What a rotten away to spend Memorial Day. Time to change the tire."

(Ed gets the tools out and drops some on Ralph's foot.)

Ralph (yells): "ARRGGH! PUT 'EM UP NORTON! PUT 'EM UP NORTON!"

(The girls separate the two. Finally, they get the tire fixed and leave. After apporaching a big traffic jam, they finally arrive at Point Pleasant Beach.)

Ralph: "Time to go to Jenkinson's. After what we wnt through this morning,we are still fortunate to see an horu of Todd Pettingill at Jenkinson's."

Man: "Uh sir. Todd had his show on Friday. You are three days late."

Ed: "Ralph, it looks like one of your plans went to pot. At least, we can see the tide coming in on the beach."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE TIDE? I WILL THROW YOU IN."

(Ed gets away from Ralph. THe girls separate the two.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. I hope that everyone has a perfect Memorial Day."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach Memorial Days are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)