Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 1) (2014) - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 04-17-2014, 10:51 PM

(The NY Rangers beat the Philadelphia Flyers 4-1.)

(Ralph and Ed are on the subway.)

Ralph: "Boy Norton, what a night. This is the first day in almost a year that a major NY area sports team was in a playoff game."

Ed: "And to top it off, the Rangers won."

Ralph: "You can say that again. Those Flyers were grounded."

Ed: "Hey Ralph, since Philly is somewhat close by, during the times that the Rangers are going to be in Philly, why don't we get tickets?"

Ralph: "Good idea Norton. We will be away from our wives. I never romaed the streets of Philly. I would love to get a Philly cheesesteak. Although any food that I eat in Miami Beach is the best in the world."

(Audience cheers.)

Ed: "Maybe you will eat 10 of those cheesesteaks."

Ralph: "Oooooh, you are a riot Norton. A regular riot."

Ed: "Hey, we are going right past my place of work down here on the subway track. One of my co-workers hates the teams here and says that any team is better."

Ralph: "He must be a real moron like that Harvey and McGarrity..."

(Harvey and a very muscular friend of his come by unbeknownst to Ralph & Ed.)

Ralph: "...We can take them on in a real streetfight Norton. All we have to do is get a lot of bats and sticks. It will be like a real-life version of a video game."

Ed: "You are right there Ralph."

Harvey (yells): "WHAT DID YOU TWO SAY?"

(Ralph is scared.)

Ralph: "Huminahuminahumina."

Ed: "You said that we can take them on in a real streetfight Ralph. All we have to do is bring weapons."

Harvey (yells): "THE SUBWAY IS STOPPED. LET'S TAKE THEM AND LET THEM ENGAGE IN THIER STYLE OF STREETFIGHT."

(The friend grabs Ralph while Harvey grabs Ed.)

(Later on that night, Ralph & Ed come back to the apartment. Their clothes are somewaht torn.)

Ed: "Good thing that the cops came by and arrested Harvey and his friend. Ralph, why did you pick a fight with those two for?"

Ralph (yells): "DO YOU WANT A KO NORTON?"

(Ed runs away from Ralph.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 04-20-2014, 06:57 PM

(The Philadelphia Flyers beat the NY Rangers 4-2.)

(Ralph & Alice come home after spending Easter dinner with Alice's parents.)

Ralph: "That was a fine evening we had."

Alice: "Ralph, it was a great evening for me. You are just upset because you had to spend Easter with two family members that you hate."

Ralph: "Not only that, but the Rangers lost. I can see it now. The Rangers will lose this series Alice. What a shame. I was looking forward to them winning the cup. I was going to go to the pizzeria with Ed and celebrate by eating the biggest pizza pie that they had. I even made a suggestion that they spell: 'Go Rangers' with the anchovies on the anchovy pizzas."

(Alice laughs.)

Ralph: "What is so funny?"

Alice: "Ralph, they don't make pizzas that big to accomodate all the letters."

Ralph: "Big deal. Just cut the anchovies in half."

(Ed comes down. Audience applauds.)

Ed: "Ralph & Alice, the Rangers BLEW IT. They had a two goal lead and now they might lose the whole series."

Ralph: "Well, when we go to Philly, we can cheer the Rangers on while we are eating Philly Cheesesteaks."

Ed: "Ralph, are you aure that you won't get a heart attack with all that food and the Rangers losing?"

Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEEEEEET OOOOOOOOOOUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 04-22-2014, 10:17 PM

(The NY rangers beat the Philadelphia Flyers 3-1.)

(Ralph is waiting in the bus company depot locker room for Ed. It's lunch time.)

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph?"

Ralph: "Did you hear Norton? The Rangers won. They now have an advantage over Philly."

Ed: "Yes, I did. Now, they can ground those Flyers."

Ralph: "Those Philly fans. They want to meet the Penguins just so they can have a fight-filled series."

Ed: "With those fights, it may be a bloodbath."

Ralph: "May be too violent for sports. No, the Rangers are going to win it all Norton. I want to be there to see them win the Cup in MSG. You do too Norton. After the season is over, they may invite us to go into the locker room and have a Cup of chapagne."

Ed: "I hope you don't get drunk Ralph."
Ralph: "I never do."

Ed: "What about the time you came into the apartment after a Racoon meeting, flung the window open asked: 'Hey Mrs. Gallagher, get your cat out of my apartment.' The only thing is that it wasn't her cat. You had your Raccoon hat on backwards."

Ralph: "Okay, one time."

Ed: "How about the time you came home and put yoru pajama pants over your work pants and accussed Alice of giving your pants away?"

Ralph (yells): "OH, WHY DON'T YOU STOP?"

Ed: "Ralph, when the Rangers win the Cup, they should feel happy that they got what they deserved. Especially after working for almost 20 seasons without one."

Ralph: "Don't remind me Norton. You are right. The Rangers deserve to win."

(They sing a song about the Rangers deserving to win.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Crowd applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 04-25-2014, 10:37 PM

(The Philadelphia Flyers beat the NY Rangers 2-1.)

(Ralph & Ed just came home from watching the game. They enter the Kramden apartment.)

Ralph (to Ed): "Shhh. Alice is asleep."

(Alice comes out. Audience applauds.)

Alice: "Ralph & Ed, do you know what time it is?"

Ralph: "Yeah, it's a little after 11."

Alice: "Three hours after 11. You guys had to see that Rangers game in Philly."

Ed: "We went by subway. Right past my place of work."

Ralph: "Don't make this night worse Alice. I had to deal with Philly fans tonight when their home team won. They were ready to fight me and Ed."

Ed: "They thought that since Ralph ahd 12 Philly Cheesesteaks that he wouldn't last a fight in the city of Brotherly Love."

Ralph: "Hmmph! The real city of Brotherly Love is Miami Beach."

(Audience cheers.)

Alice: "You guys made those plans without consulting me and Trixie first."

Ralph: "All right. We're sorry. But, I just hope that those Philly fans don't get their hopes up. I just ran into McGarrity when we came up here. I am going to show him."

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Alice: "Ralph, people are sleeping."

Ralph: "That is a chance I have to take." (yells): "MCGARRITY, GET READY TO EAT CROW WHEN THE RANGERS WIN..."

(McGarrity hits Ralph with water.)

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN, I WOULD GIVE YOU HIT YOU WITH PHILLY CHEESESTEAKS IF I HAD ANY. YOU WOULD LOVE TO EAT TWNETY OF THEM IN ONE SITTING. HAHAHAHA!"

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 04-27-2014, 06:00 PM

(The NY Rangers beat the Philadelphia Flyers 4-2.)

(Ralph & Ed are having lunch near the sewer where Ed works.)

Ralph: "What a hockey series. The Rangers have evened the score. Now, they have an oppostunity to go into Game 6 with a 3-2 lead."

Ed: "Those Phillies have better bring their A game."

Ralph: "I have a feeling that they won't. Those Flyers are going to get rounded in the ice. Ha ha ha. You should have seen the look on that poor, misguided soul Joe Felstablau's face. He looked like he was going to cry."

Ed: "I bet he did."

Ralph: "Those Flyers think that they will advance. They will not."

Ed: "I want to see the Rangers against the Lightning."

Ralph: "Me too. Just think, the Rangers will be only four hours away from that beautiful action city, Miami Beach."

(Crowd cheers.)

Ed: "The Rangers will get struck by Lightning and survive."

Ralph: "I would so want the Rangers to face the Panthers just so they can be real close to Miami Beach."

Ed: "You know if the Lightning win, I will be happy."

Ralph: "You would?"

Ed: "Yeah. I like them because they play near all that water that goes into the Tampa sewer. I am real jealous."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, YOU ARE THIS CLOSE TO LETTING ME PICK YOU UP AND DROP YOU IN THE WATER DOWN THERE."

(Ed runs away from Ralph. Ed goes down the sewer.)

Ed (echoes): "You can't get me Ralph. You are too fat to fit down the hole. Ha ha ha."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON!"

(Cops come to calm Ralph down.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "How sweet it is."

(Corwd cheers.)

Jackie (yells): "GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 04-30-2014, 09:02 PM

(The Philadelphia Flyers beat the NY Rangers 5-2.)

(Ralph is shown pacing on the Kramden kitchen floor. He is all upset.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a lousy situation. The Rangers lost and now they have have forced a game 7."

Alice: "Ralph, relax. I think that the Rangers could do it."

Ralph: "They need to win with consistency Alice. I am getting pretty upset about this."

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph! I saw the game. What a bloutz."

Ralph: "The Rangers need a win. Badly."

Ed: "Hey, maybe the Rangers will win game 7. They got motivation."

Ralph: "You are right Norton. I think they have motivation."

Ed: "You got to keep your chin up. Smile."

(Ralph smiles.)

Ed: "I like it when you smile Ralph. I want you to keep on smiling even if the Rangers lose game 7. Think of happier times. Think of when the Rangers had a 3 game to 2 lead before they really lost in game 6. They lost to a good Flyer team. You got to smile. Smile. Be happy. Be happy."

Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: "Somewhere Alice, there is a straightjacket for that man."

(Jackie walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 04-30-2014, 10:27 PM

(The NY Rangers won the Eastern Conference semifinals, 4 games to 3, by beating the Philadelphia Flyers 2-1.)

(Ralph & Ed just came home from the game.)

Ralph (yells): "WHOHOO NORTON! THE RANGERS DID IT."

Ed: "I told you Ralph that the Rangers would pull it off."

Ralph: "What are you talking about? I knew that the Rangers would win."

Ed: "Are you kidding me? You were moping around all day yesterday. You were pacing back and forth. The whole floor beneath you knew you were pacing by how big you are."

Ralph: "Well, I don't care. The Rangers have advanced and now they have their next victims are all worried."

Ed: "Worried?"

Ralph: "Yeah. The Rangers are all pumped up and ready to win while the other team will be rusty."

Ed: "I don't know Ralph. I think that the Rangers will be exhausted."

Ralph: "Are you kidding me? They are not. You know I played hockey in school once. I set a honor."

Ed: "Of being the first student to break the ice while skating?"

Ralph: "Oooooh, YOU'RE A RIOT NORTON!"

Ed: "I played hockey too but I quit once 2,000 pucks hit me in the head. So much so, I got a tumor. So when I got the tumor removed, people asked me: 'What did he remove, the tumor or the brain?'"

Ralph: "You don't have to ask me. I know what he removed. Well, the fact is fact. The Rangers are a hellua team."

(They ding a song about the Rangers.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 05-02-2014, 10:11 PM

(The NY Rangers best the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-2.)

(Ralph and Ed are in the pool room.)

Ralph: "Boy, I just hit that ball like the Rangers hit that puck last night against Pittsburgh. They really showed Sidney Crosby how to play hockey."

Ed: "They sure did. Boy, I bet those Penguins didn't get Happy Feet if you know what I mean. Ha ha ha."

Ralph: "You got that right Norton. I tell ya. The Rangers are going to win the Cup this year. I can feel it."

Ed: "They got a great coach too. We should invite the coach and the team to dinner with the rest of the Raccoons and make them honorary Raccoons."

Ralph: "That is a good idea Norton."

Ed: "I have brains up here."

Ralph: "Oh, you have something up there Norton."

(Harvey comes by.)

Harvey: "Well Ralph, your Rangers got lucky."

Ralph: "I don't know about that. The Rangers are the perfect team."

Harvey: "Oh yeah. Lets make a bet of $500. If the Rangers lose their chance to get the cup, you owe me $500. If they win, I owe you $500."

Ralph: "I will take it."

Harvey: "Good. See ya."

(Harvey leaves.)

Ed: "Ralph, you might lose."

Ralph: "Norton, I am not going to lose. I got something that is big."

Ed: "Yeah, it is your stomach."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 05-04-2014, 10:40 PM

(The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the NY Rangers 3-0.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game from Ed's apartment.)

Ed: "Now the Rangers really got to best the Penguins now since the series is tied.

Ralph: "You can say that again Norton."

Ed: "Now the Rangers..."

Ralph (yells): "I DON'T MEAN THAT!"

Ed: "Oh sorry Ralph. Just think. That Crosby will get what is coming to him."

Ralph: "You can say that again."

Ed: "Just think. That Crosby..."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

Ed: "Sorry. Well, it still looks like the Rangers will win the cup."

Ralph: "You can say that...Um...You are right. I think that they are going to win the Cup."

Ed: "Well, I hope not Ralph."

Ralph: "Why not?"

Ed: "It has something to do with Trixie."

Ralph: "What is it?"

Ed: "Well, I don't think she wants the Rangers to win the Cup."

Ralph: "Why?"

Ed: "Trixie is a Penguins fan."

Ralph: "Why is that influencing your...um...thinking for a lack of a better word?"

Ed: " I should pull for the same team that Trixie is."

Ralph: "You idiot. A husband is the king of the house Norton. I rule my kingdom. If Alice is stupid enough to pull for another team, that won't influence my thinking. I am the King. I rule with an iron hand."

Ed: "And an iron stomach."

(Ralph gets up and starts throwing punches.)

Ralph (yells): "OKAY NORTON! PUT 'EM UP! PUT 'EM UP!"

Ed (yells): "I DON'T WANT TO!"

Ralph (yells): "PUT 'EM UP!"

(Trixie comes in to separate and cool down Ralph's temper.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers loudly.)

Frank Gannucci · 05-05-2014, 11:32 PM

(The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the NY Rangers 2-0.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game from the bowling alley.)

Ralph: "What a dissappointment Ed."

Ed: "Yeah. It has been a dark, dark day."

Ralph: "First, I bowl 95 in bowling. Now the Rangers lose."

(Ed blows his nose.)

Ed: "I still laugh at the fact that you bowled that low."

Ralph: "Watch it Norton. Those Rangers better watch it too. Now, they are down 1 games to 2. We need the Rangers to win Norton."

Ed: "Don't I know it. I think we should give the Rangers a pep talk."

Ralph: "I am sure that the coach is giving them one right now. That Sydney Crosby has got to get what is coming to him."

Ed: "You are right there Ralph. We should spread the word about the Rangers throughout all the neighborhood and this bowling alley."

Ralph: "You are right Norton. Let's do it."

(Later on, Ralph & Ed come home with black eyes. Alice sees them.)

Alice: "What happened?"

Ed: "We were spreading the word about the NY Rangers around the bowling alley and I guess that we were too annoying. That was a bad idea of Ralph's."

(Ralph's eyes light up.)

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT NORTON! GEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Good night everyone."

(Audience cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 05-07-2014, 10:30 PM

(The NY Rangers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 4-2.)

(Ralph just finished watching the game by himself.)

Ralph: "What a bad game Alice. Those Rangers really got destroyed by the Penguins. Now the Penguins are leading 3 games to 1."

Alice: "What is the name of that hockey player on the Penguins that is the youngest?"

Ralph: "Sidney Crosby and I was hoping that he would be taught a lesson by the Rangers."

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph-ie boy. Did you see the game? It was brutally bad. Looks like you might lose that bet with Harvey."

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

Alice: "What bet? Ralph, did you shoot your mouth off?"

Ed: "Yes, he did and he might cash in."

Ralph: "Alice, you got take chances in life. I am betting the Rangers are going to win the Cup. I am confident. As a matter of fact, I know that the Rangers will win the Cup. I have enough confidence in me for the both of us."

Alice: "You have enough of EVERYTHING in you for the both of us."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!"

Alice: "Ralph, you should have never shoot your mouth off again. You ought to keep your mouth shut."

Ralph: "Alice, I am telling you that the Rangers will win. Do you want to move out of here? Do you want to be rich? I guess not. We could be sailing around the world. Do you want to be sailing?"

Alice: "Yeah. I want to go sailing around the world and not up the river."

(Alice goes into the bedroom.)

Ralph: "Har-har-hardy-har-har!"

Ed: "Yes and if Ralph wins, you won't be allowed to have all 500 pounds of food that Ralph will consume."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

(Ed laughs.)

(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 05-09-2014, 10:15 PM

(The NY Rangers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 5-1.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game at the Raccoon Lodge.)

Ed: "That was a shocking game Ralph."

RalpH: "Well, the Rangers needed that win. Now, with the odds being better, they can finally win the series."

Freddie Muller: "I don't know Ralph. Those Penguins are a tough bunch."

Ralph: "Well, we will see how tough they are. Those Rangers will SHOCK the Penguins."

Ed: "I think that the Penguins have got to win."

Ralph: "Why do you say that Norton?"

Ed: "Well Ralph, anytime that I team has a 3 game to 1 lead, you expect them to lose the fifth game and than win the series in six."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Fred: "Come on Ed. You don't really believe that do you?"

Ralph: "He's an idiot. The Penguins will freeze when they meet the Rangers in the next two games. I can see it now. The Rangers against either the Boston Bruins or the Monteal Canadians."

Ed: "What is the nickname for the Montreal team? You said that they were just the Canadians."

Ralph: "That is their nickname Norton."

Ed: "Boy, they must be very uncreative to come up with a name like that."

Ralph: "Ha ha ha. Yes sir, this is the year that the NHL in New York will rule the roast."

(They all sing a song about how the this is the year that a New York hockey team will win the Stanley Cup.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the GREATEST audiences in the world. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 05-11-2014, 10:37 PM

(The NY Rangers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-1.)

(Ralph picks up Ed on the bus.)

Ralph: "What an upset Norton. Those Rangers have somehow tied the series."

Ed: "Not only that, but they won 3-1. I bet those Penguins feel stupid for not taking care of the Rangers."

Ralph: "That Sydney Crosby is not a good player. If he was, he would have won the game for his team."

Ed: "You are right there Ralph. When the Rangers win again, we will all celebrate."

Ralph: "I know that I will."

Ed: "Also, I bet that Harvey is steamed that the Rangers have not died yet."

Ralph: "Oh yes, I remember the bet. He is soooo going to lose."

(Harvey & George get on the bus. Ralaph sees Harvey.)

Ralph: "Huminahuminahumina!"

Harvey: "I can't believe that your Rangers are still alive Ralph."

Ed: "You better believe it because the Rangers are going to go all the way just like Ralph said."

Harvey: "He did? How about we up the ante on the bet? If the Rangers lose, Ralph gives me $600 and some of his food. If they do win the title, I will give him $600 and some of MY food."

Ed: "We will take it."

Ralph (yells): "ARRRGH!"

Harvey: "This is our stop. If you don't show up with your things when the Rangers lose, I will come get you."

(Harvey & George leave.)

Ed (yells): "APOX ON YOU AND YOUR ANCESTORS."

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: "'Apox on you and your ancestors.''

(Jackie walks on stage. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Crowd cheers.)

Frank Gannucci · 05-13-2014, 09:54 PM

(The NY Rangers won the Eastern Conference Semifinals, 4 games to 3, by beating the Pittsburgh Penguins 2-1.)

(Ralph & Ed are just watched the game in the Kramden apartment.)

Ed (yells): "CELEBRATE RALPH-IE BOY! IT'S A MIRACLE!"

Ralph (yells): "THOSE PENGUINS GOT TO FEEL STUPID NOW."

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: "Ralph & Ed, would you stop with your howling? You are going to disturb the neighbors."

Ralph: "Tonight, is our night to howl Alice. The Rangers advanced and are going to beat Montreal or Boston."

Alice: "The Rangers got lucky Ralph. They were down 2 games and came back."

Ralph: "They DID NOT get lucky. They won because they are the better team. It was not a fluke."

Ed: "Yeah Alice. When the Rangers win the Cup, we are going to invite them to become Raccoons." (raising his imaginary tail on his imaginary cap, yells): "WHOOOO!"

Ralph: "That is telling her Norton. I wish I can look at Harvey's face. I bet he is upset."

Ed: "Ralph, why don't we use Facetime and call him now?"

Ralph: "Okay. He won't hurt me."

(Ed uses Facetime and calls Harvey.)

Harvey (on phone): "Hello?"

Ralph: "Hey Harvey, we want to see you after the Rangers won. Good night!"

(The next day, Ed sees Ralph for lunch. He has two black eyes.)

Ed: "Ralph, what happened?"

Ralph: "Thanks to you, I have these shiners from Harvey. You are an idiot."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

Frank Gannucci · 05-17-2014, 09:09 PM

(The NY Rangers beat the Montreal Canadiens 7-2.)

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game in Ed's apartment.)

Ed: "Boy, 7 goals. THat wasn't a blitz. That was a BLOUTZ."

Ralph: "Hahahaha. I wondered what Montreal was thinking with two minutes to go and BEHIND five goals. Hahaha."

Ed: "Who in the sports world thought that the Rangers would make it this far?"

Ralph: "Not that blowhard Mike Francesa. If you asked him, he wouldn't admit that he was wrong and said he knew all along that the Rangers were this good."

Ed: "Reminds me of someone I know."

Ralph: "Knock it off Norton."

Ed: "Now with the Rangers up one game, they might win the series and face Chicago or LA."

Ralph: "I want them to face LA and punish them for winning in 2012. What a dissappointment that was."

Ed: "Especially since they call themselves, the Kings."

Ralph: "They are not kings. They are mice. They will get crushed."

Ed: "The Rangers are going to win the Cup and when that happens, not only will we go up to them and invite them to be honorary Raccoons, we will go up to them and invite them to be honorary Hurricanes."

Ralph: "They will all love us. But, I think they might love the people in Miami Beach more."

(Audience cheers.)

Ralph: "That McGarrity is really flipping. I want to set him straight."

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out upwards.)

Ralph (yells): "MCGARRITY, THE RANGERS WILL WIN THE CUP."

(Ralph puts his head back inside.)

McGarrity (from upstiars, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN, SINCE THE RANGERS MIGHT WIN THE CUP, I GOT A SURPISE FOR YOU THAT YOU MAY LIKE."

(Ralph goes over to the window and sticks his head out. He gets pelted with mud. Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "ONE OF THESE DAYS, NORTON YOU AND MCGARRITY WILL GET IT."

(Jackie walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

04-17-2014, 10:51 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 1) (2014) (The NY Rangers beat the Philadelphia Flyers 4-1.) (Ralph and Ed are on the subway.) Ralph: "Boy Norton, what a night. This is the first day in almost a year that a major NY area sports team was in a playoff game." Ed: "And to top it off, the Rangers won." Ralph: "You can say that again. Those Flyers were grounded." Ed: "Hey Ralph, since Philly is somewhat close by, during the times that the Rangers are going to be in Philly, why don't we get tickets?" Ralph: "Good idea Norton. We will be away from our wives. I never romaed the streets of Philly. I would love to get a Philly cheesesteak. Although any food that I eat in Miami Beach is the best in the world." (Audience cheers.) Ed: "Maybe you will eat 10 of those cheesesteaks." Ralph: "Oooooh, you are a riot Norton. A regular riot." Ed: "Hey, we are going right past my place of work down here on the subway track. One of my co-workers hates the teams here and says that any team is better." Ralph: "He must be a real moron like that Harvey and McGarrity..." (Harvey and a very muscular friend of his come by unbeknownst to Ralph & Ed.) Ralph: "...We can take them on in a real streetfight Norton. All we have to do is get a lot of bats and sticks. It will be like a real-life version of a video game." Ed: "You are right there Ralph." Harvey (yells): "WHAT DID YOU TWO SAY?" (Ralph is scared.) Ralph: "Huminahuminahumina." Ed: "You said that we can take them on in a real streetfight Ralph. All we have to do is bring weapons." Harvey (yells): "THE SUBWAY IS STOPPED. LET'S TAKE THEM AND LET THEM ENGAGE IN THIER STYLE OF STREETFIGHT." (The friend grabs Ralph while Harvey grabs Ed.) (Later on that night, Ralph & Ed come back to the apartment. Their clothes are somewaht torn.) Ed: "Good thing that the cops came by and arrested Harvey and his friend. Ralph, why did you pick a fight with those two for?" Ralph (yells): "DO YOU WANT A KO NORTON?" (Ed runs away from Ralph.) (Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.) Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!" (Audience cheers.)

04-20-2014, 06:57 PM	#2
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 2) (The Philadelphia Flyers beat the NY Rangers 4-2.) (Ralph & Alice come home after spending Easter dinner with Alice's parents.) Ralph: "That was a fine evening we had." Alice: "Ralph, it was a great evening for me. You are just upset because you had to spend Easter with two family members that you hate." Ralph: "Not only that, but the Rangers lost. I can see it now. The Rangers will lose this series Alice. What a shame. I was looking forward to them winning the cup. I was going to go to the pizzeria with Ed and celebrate by eating the biggest pizza pie that they had. I even made a suggestion that they spell: 'Go Rangers' with the anchovies on the anchovy pizzas." (Alice laughs.) Ralph: "What is so funny?" Alice: "Ralph, they don't make pizzas that big to accomodate all the letters." Ralph: "Big deal. Just cut the anchovies in half." (Ed comes down. Audience applauds.) Ed: "Ralph & Alice, the Rangers BLEW IT. They had a two goal lead and now they might lose the whole series." Ralph: "Well, when we go to Philly, we can cheer the Rangers on while we are eating Philly Cheesesteaks." Ed: "Ralph, are you aure that you won't get a heart attack with all that food and the Rangers losing?" Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEEEEEET OOOOOOOOOOUT!" (Ed leaves.) (Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!" (Crowd cheers.)

04-22-2014, 10:17 PM	#3
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 3) (The NY rangers beat the Philadelphia Flyers 3-1.) (Ralph is waiting in the bus company depot locker room for Ed. It's lunch time.) (Ed comes in.) Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph?" Ralph: "Did you hear Norton? The Rangers won. They now have an advantage over Philly." Ed: "Yes, I did. Now, they can ground those Flyers." Ralph: "Those Philly fans. They want to meet the Penguins just so they can have a fight-filled series." Ed: "With those fights, it may be a bloodbath." Ralph: "May be too violent for sports. No, the Rangers are going to win it all Norton. I want to be there to see them win the Cup in MSG. You do too Norton. After the season is over, they may invite us to go into the locker room and have a Cup of chapagne." Ed: "I hope you don't get drunk Ralph." Ralph: "I never do." Ed: "What about the time you came into the apartment after a Racoon meeting, flung the window open asked: 'Hey Mrs. Gallagher, get your cat out of my apartment.' The only thing is that it wasn't her cat. You had your Raccoon hat on backwards." Ralph: "Okay, one time." Ed: "How about the time you came home and put yoru pajama pants over your work pants and accussed Alice of giving your pants away?" Ralph (yells): "OH, WHY DON'T YOU STOP?" Ed: "Ralph, when the Rangers win the Cup, they should feel happy that they got what they deserved. Especially after working for almost 20 seasons without one." Ralph: "Don't remind me Norton. You are right. The Rangers deserve to win." (They sing a song about the Rangers deserving to win.) (Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Crowd applauds.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!" (Crowd cheers.)
	Last edited by Frank Gannucci; 04-22-2014 at 10:38 PM.

04-25-2014, 10:37 PM	#4
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 3) (The Philadelphia Flyers beat the NY Rangers 2-1.) (Ralph & Ed just came home from watching the game. They enter the Kramden apartment.) Ralph (to Ed): "Shhh. Alice is asleep." (Alice comes out. Audience applauds.) Alice: "Ralph & Ed, do you know what time it is?" Ralph: "Yeah, it's a little after 11." Alice: "Three hours after 11. You guys had to see that Rangers game in Philly." Ed: "We went by subway. Right past my place of work." Ralph: "Don't make this night worse Alice. I had to deal with Philly fans tonight when their home team won. They were ready to fight me and Ed." Ed: "They thought that since Ralph ahd 12 Philly Cheesesteaks that he wouldn't last a fight in the city of Brotherly Love." Ralph: "Hmmph! The real city of Brotherly Love is Miami Beach." (Audience cheers.) Alice: "You guys made those plans without consulting me and Trixie first." Ralph: "All right. We're sorry. But, I just hope that those Philly fans don't get their hopes up. I just ran into McGarrity when we came up here. I am going to show him." (Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.) Alice: "Ralph, people are sleeping." Ralph: "That is a chance I have to take." (yells): "MCGARRITY, GET READY TO EAT CROW WHEN THE RANGERS WIN..." (McGarrity hits Ralph with water.) McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN, I WOULD GIVE YOU HIT YOU WITH PHILLY CHEESESTEAKS IF I HAD ANY. YOU WOULD LOVE TO EAT TWNETY OF THEM IN ONE SITTING. HAHAHAHA!" (Ed laughs.) Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEET OUT!" (Ed leaves.) (Jackie walks on stage. Audience applauds.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!" (Audience cheers.)

04-27-2014, 06:00 PM	#5
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 4) (The NY Rangers beat the Philadelphia Flyers 4-2.) (Ralph & Ed are having lunch near the sewer where Ed works.) Ralph: "What a hockey series. The Rangers have evened the score. Now, they have an oppostunity to go into Game 6 with a 3-2 lead." Ed: "Those Phillies have better bring their A game." Ralph: "I have a feeling that they won't. Those Flyers are going to get rounded in the ice. Ha ha ha. You should have seen the look on that poor, misguided soul Joe Felstablau's face. He looked like he was going to cry." Ed: "I bet he did." Ralph: "Those Flyers think that they will advance. They will not." Ed: "I want to see the Rangers against the Lightning." Ralph: "Me too. Just think, the Rangers will be only four hours away from that beautiful action city, Miami Beach." (Crowd cheers.) Ed: "The Rangers will get struck by Lightning and survive." Ralph: "I would so want the Rangers to face the Panthers just so they can be real close to Miami Beach." Ed: "You know if the Lightning win, I will be happy." Ralph: "You would?" Ed: "Yeah. I like them because they play near all that water that goes into the Tampa sewer. I am real jealous." Ralph (yells): "NORTON, YOU ARE THIS CLOSE TO LETTING ME PICK YOU UP AND DROP YOU IN THE WATER DOWN THERE." (Ed runs away from Ralph. Ed goes down the sewer.) Ed (echoes): "You can't get me Ralph. You are too fat to fit down the hole. Ha ha ha." Ralph (yells): "NORTON!" (Cops come to calm Ralph down.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: "How sweet it is." (Corwd cheers.) Jackie (yells): "GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!" (Crowd cheers.)

04-30-2014, 09:02 PM	#6
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 6) (The Philadelphia Flyers beat the NY Rangers 5-2.) (Ralph is shown pacing on the Kramden kitchen floor. He is all upset.) Ralph: "Boy, what a lousy situation. The Rangers lost and now they have have forced a game 7." Alice: "Ralph, relax. I think that the Rangers could do it." Ralph: "They need to win with consistency Alice. I am getting pretty upset about this." (Ed comes down.) Ed: "Hey Ralph! I saw the game. What a bloutz." Ralph: "The Rangers need a win. Badly." Ed: "Hey, maybe the Rangers will win game 7. They got motivation." Ralph: "You are right Norton. I think they have motivation." Ed: "You got to keep your chin up. Smile." (Ralph smiles.) Ed: "I like it when you smile Ralph. I want you to keep on smiling even if the Rangers lose game 7. Think of happier times. Think of when the Rangers had a 3 game to 2 lead before they really lost in game 6. They lost to a good Flyer team. You got to smile. Smile. Be happy. Be happy." Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEET OUT!" (Ed leaves.) Ralph: "Somewhere Alice, there is a straightjacket for that man." (Jackie walks on stage. Audience applauds.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!" (Audience cheers.)

04-30-2014, 10:27 PM	#7
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 7) (The NY Rangers won the Eastern Conference semifinals, 4 games to 3, by beating the Philadelphia Flyers 2-1.) (Ralph & Ed just came home from the game.) Ralph (yells): "WHOHOO NORTON! THE RANGERS DID IT." Ed: "I told you Ralph that the Rangers would pull it off." Ralph: "What are you talking about? I knew that the Rangers would win." Ed: "Are you kidding me? You were moping around all day yesterday. You were pacing back and forth. The whole floor beneath you knew you were pacing by how big you are." Ralph: "Well, I don't care. The Rangers have advanced and now they have their next victims are all worried." Ed: "Worried?" Ralph: "Yeah. The Rangers are all pumped up and ready to win while the other team will be rusty." Ed: "I don't know Ralph. I think that the Rangers will be exhausted." Ralph: "Are you kidding me? They are not. You know I played hockey in school once. I set a honor." Ed: "Of being the first student to break the ice while skating?" Ralph: "Oooooh, YOU'RE A RIOT NORTON!" Ed: "I played hockey too but I quit once 2,000 pucks hit me in the head. So much so, I got a tumor. So when I got the tumor removed, people asked me: 'What did he remove, the tumor or the brain?'" Ralph: "You don't have to ask me. I know what he removed. Well, the fact is fact. The Rangers are a hellua team." (They ding a song about the Rangers.) (Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!" (Audience cheers.)

05-02-2014, 10:11 PM	#8
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 8) (The NY Rangers best the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-2.) (Ralph and Ed are in the pool room.) Ralph: "Boy, I just hit that ball like the Rangers hit that puck last night against Pittsburgh. They really showed Sidney Crosby how to play hockey." Ed: "They sure did. Boy, I bet those Penguins didn't get Happy Feet if you know what I mean. Ha ha ha." Ralph: "You got that right Norton. I tell ya. The Rangers are going to win the Cup this year. I can feel it." Ed: "They got a great coach too. We should invite the coach and the team to dinner with the rest of the Raccoons and make them honorary Raccoons." Ralph: "That is a good idea Norton." Ed: "I have brains up here." Ralph: "Oh, you have something up there Norton." (Harvey comes by.) Harvey: "Well Ralph, your Rangers got lucky." Ralph: "I don't know about that. The Rangers are the perfect team." Harvey: "Oh yeah. Lets make a bet of $500. If the Rangers lose their chance to get the cup, you owe me $500. If they win, I owe you $500." Ralph: "I will take it." Harvey: "Good. See ya." (Harvey leaves.) Ed: "Ralph, you might lose." Ralph: "Norton, I am not going to lose. I got something that is big." Ed: "Yeah, it is your stomach." Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!" (Ed leaves.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!" (Crowd cheers.)

05-04-2014, 10:40 PM	#9
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 9) (The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the NY Rangers 3-0.) (Ralph & Ed just watched the game from Ed's apartment.) Ed: "Now the Rangers really got to best the Penguins now since the series is tied. Ralph: "You can say that again Norton." Ed: "Now the Rangers..." Ralph (yells): "I DON'T MEAN THAT!" Ed: "Oh sorry Ralph. Just think. That Crosby will get what is coming to him." Ralph: "You can say that again." Ed: "Just think. That Crosby..." Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!" Ed: "Sorry. Well, it still looks like the Rangers will win the cup." Ralph: "You can say that...Um...You are right. I think that they are going to win the Cup." Ed: "Well, I hope not Ralph." Ralph: "Why not?" Ed: "It has something to do with Trixie." Ralph: "What is it?" Ed: "Well, I don't think she wants the Rangers to win the Cup." Ralph: "Why?" Ed: "Trixie is a Penguins fan." Ralph: "Why is that influencing your...um...thinking for a lack of a better word?" Ed: " I should pull for the same team that Trixie is." Ralph: "You idiot. A husband is the king of the house Norton. I rule my kingdom. If Alice is stupid enough to pull for another team, that won't influence my thinking. I am the King. I rule with an iron hand." Ed: "And an iron stomach." (Ralph gets up and starts throwing punches.) Ralph (yells): "OKAY NORTON! PUT 'EM UP! PUT 'EM UP!" Ed (yells): "I DON'T WANT TO!" Ralph (yells): "PUT 'EM UP!" (Trixie comes in to separate and cool down Ralph's temper.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!" (Crowd cheers loudly.)

05-05-2014, 11:32 PM	#10
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 10) (The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the NY Rangers 2-0.) (Ralph & Ed just watched the game from the bowling alley.) Ralph: "What a dissappointment Ed." Ed: "Yeah. It has been a dark, dark day." Ralph: "First, I bowl 95 in bowling. Now the Rangers lose." (Ed blows his nose.) Ed: "I still laugh at the fact that you bowled that low." Ralph: "Watch it Norton. Those Rangers better watch it too. Now, they are down 1 games to 2. We need the Rangers to win Norton." Ed: "Don't I know it. I think we should give the Rangers a pep talk." Ralph: "I am sure that the coach is giving them one right now. That Sydney Crosby has got to get what is coming to him." Ed: "You are right there Ralph. We should spread the word about the Rangers throughout all the neighborhood and this bowling alley." Ralph: "You are right Norton. Let's do it." (Later on, Ralph & Ed come home with black eyes. Alice sees them.) Alice: "What happened?" Ed: "We were spreading the word about the NY Rangers around the bowling alley and I guess that we were too annoying. That was a bad idea of Ralph's." (Ralph's eyes light up.) Ralph (yells): "GET OUT NORTON! GEEEEEEEEEET OUT!" (Ed leaves.) (Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience cheers.) Jackie: "Thank you. Good night everyone." (Audience cheers.)

05-07-2014, 10:30 PM	#11
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 11) (The NY Rangers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 4-2.) (Ralph just finished watching the game by himself.) Ralph: "What a bad game Alice. Those Rangers really got destroyed by the Penguins. Now the Penguins are leading 3 games to 1." Alice: "What is the name of that hockey player on the Penguins that is the youngest?" Ralph: "Sidney Crosby and I was hoping that he would be taught a lesson by the Rangers." (Ed comes down.) Ed: "Hey Ralph-ie boy. Did you see the game? It was brutally bad. Looks like you might lose that bet with Harvey." (Ralph elbows Ed.) Alice: "What bet? Ralph, did you shoot your mouth off?" Ed: "Yes, he did and he might cash in." Ralph: "Alice, you got take chances in life. I am betting the Rangers are going to win the Cup. I am confident. As a matter of fact, I know that the Rangers will win the Cup. I have enough confidence in me for the both of us." Alice: "You have enough of EVERYTHING in you for the both of us." (Ed laughs.) Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!" Alice: "Ralph, you should have never shoot your mouth off again. You ought to keep your mouth shut." Ralph: "Alice, I am telling you that the Rangers will win. Do you want to move out of here? Do you want to be rich? I guess not. We could be sailing around the world. Do you want to be sailing?" Alice: "Yeah. I want to go sailing around the world and not up the river." (Alice goes into the bedroom.) Ralph: "Har-har-hardy-har-har!" Ed: "Yes and if Ralph wins, you won't be allowed to have all 500 pounds of food that Ralph will consume." Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!" (Ed laughs.) (Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!" (Crowd cheers.)

05-09-2014, 10:15 PM	#12
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 12) (The NY Rangers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 5-1.) (Ralph & Ed just watched the game at the Raccoon Lodge.) Ed: "That was a shocking game Ralph." RalpH: "Well, the Rangers needed that win. Now, with the odds being better, they can finally win the series." Freddie Muller: "I don't know Ralph. Those Penguins are a tough bunch." Ralph: "Well, we will see how tough they are. Those Rangers will SHOCK the Penguins." Ed: "I think that the Penguins have got to win." Ralph: "Why do you say that Norton?" Ed: "Well Ralph, anytime that I team has a 3 game to 1 lead, you expect them to lose the fifth game and than win the series in six." (Ralph rolls his eyes.) Fred: "Come on Ed. You don't really believe that do you?" Ralph: "He's an idiot. The Penguins will freeze when they meet the Rangers in the next two games. I can see it now. The Rangers against either the Boston Bruins or the Monteal Canadians." Ed: "What is the nickname for the Montreal team? You said that they were just the Canadians." Ralph: "That is their nickname Norton." Ed: "Boy, they must be very uncreative to come up with a name like that." Ralph: "Ha ha ha. Yes sir, this is the year that the NHL in New York will rule the roast." (They all sing a song about how the this is the year that a New York hockey team will win the Stanley Cup.) (Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience cheers.) Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the GREATEST audiences in the world. GOOD NIGHT!" (Audience cheers.)

05-11-2014, 10:37 PM	#13
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 13) (The NY Rangers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-1.) (Ralph picks up Ed on the bus.) Ralph: "What an upset Norton. Those Rangers have somehow tied the series." Ed: "Not only that, but they won 3-1. I bet those Penguins feel stupid for not taking care of the Rangers." Ralph: "That Sydney Crosby is not a good player. If he was, he would have won the game for his team." Ed: "You are right there Ralph. When the Rangers win again, we will all celebrate." Ralph: "I know that I will." Ed: "Also, I bet that Harvey is steamed that the Rangers have not died yet." Ralph: "Oh yes, I remember the bet. He is soooo going to lose." (Harvey & George get on the bus. Ralaph sees Harvey.) Ralph: "Huminahuminahumina!" Harvey: "I can't believe that your Rangers are still alive Ralph." Ed: "You better believe it because the Rangers are going to go all the way just like Ralph said." Harvey: "He did? How about we up the ante on the bet? If the Rangers lose, Ralph gives me $600 and some of his food. If they do win the title, I will give him $600 and some of MY food." Ed: "We will take it." Ralph (yells): "ARRRGH!" Harvey: "This is our stop. If you don't show up with your things when the Rangers lose, I will come get you." (Harvey & George leave.) Ed (yells): "APOX ON YOU AND YOUR ANCESTORS." Ralph (yells): "NORTON, GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!" (Ed leaves.) Ralph: "'Apox on you and your ancestors.'' (Jackie walks on stage. Audience cheers.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!" (Crowd cheers.)

05-13-2014, 09:54 PM	#14
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 14) (The NY Rangers won the Eastern Conference Semifinals, 4 games to 3, by beating the Pittsburgh Penguins 2-1.) (Ralph & Ed are just watched the game in the Kramden apartment.) Ed (yells): "CELEBRATE RALPH-IE BOY! IT'S A MIRACLE!" Ralph (yells): "THOSE PENGUINS GOT TO FEEL STUPID NOW." (Alice comes out.) Alice: "Ralph & Ed, would you stop with your howling? You are going to disturb the neighbors." Ralph: "Tonight, is our night to howl Alice. The Rangers advanced and are going to beat Montreal or Boston." Alice: "The Rangers got lucky Ralph. They were down 2 games and came back." Ralph: "They DID NOT get lucky. They won because they are the better team. It was not a fluke." Ed: "Yeah Alice. When the Rangers win the Cup, we are going to invite them to become Raccoons." (raising his imaginary tail on his imaginary cap, yells): "WHOOOO!" Ralph: "That is telling her Norton. I wish I can look at Harvey's face. I bet he is upset." Ed: "Ralph, why don't we use Facetime and call him now?" Ralph: "Okay. He won't hurt me." (Ed uses Facetime and calls Harvey.) Harvey (on phone): "Hello?" Ralph: "Hey Harvey, we want to see you after the Rangers won. Good night!" (The next day, Ed sees Ralph for lunch. He has two black eyes.) Ed: "Ralph, what happened?" Ralph: "Thanks to you, I have these shiners from Harvey. You are an idiot." (Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

05-17-2014, 09:09 PM	#15
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,069	Ralph Kramden, a NY NHL fan? (Part 15) (The NY Rangers beat the Montreal Canadiens 7-2.) (Ralph & Ed just watched the game in Ed's apartment.) Ed: "Boy, 7 goals. THat wasn't a blitz. That was a BLOUTZ." Ralph: "Hahahaha. I wondered what Montreal was thinking with two minutes to go and BEHIND five goals. Hahaha." Ed: "Who in the sports world thought that the Rangers would make it this far?" Ralph: "Not that blowhard Mike Francesa. If you asked him, he wouldn't admit that he was wrong and said he knew all along that the Rangers were this good." Ed: "Reminds me of someone I know." Ralph: "Knock it off Norton." Ed: "Now with the Rangers up one game, they might win the series and face Chicago or LA." Ralph: "I want them to face LA and punish them for winning in 2012. What a dissappointment that was." Ed: "Especially since they call themselves, the Kings." Ralph: "They are not kings. They are mice. They will get crushed." Ed: "The Rangers are going to win the Cup and when that happens, not only will we go up to them and invite them to be honorary Raccoons, we will go up to them and invite them to be honorary Hurricanes." Ralph: "They will all love us. But, I think they might love the people in Miami Beach more." (Audience cheers.) Ralph: "That McGarrity is really flipping. I want to set him straight." (Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out upwards.) Ralph (yells): "MCGARRITY, THE RANGERS WILL WIN THE CUP." (Ralph puts his head back inside.) McGarrity (from upstiars, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN, SINCE THE RANGERS MIGHT WIN THE CUP, I GOT A SURPISE FOR YOU THAT YOU MAY LIKE." (Ralph goes over to the window and sticks his head out. He gets pelted with mud. Ed laughs.) Ralph (yells): "ONE OF THESE DAYS, NORTON YOU AND MCGARRITY WILL GET IT." (Jackie walks on stage. Audience applauds.) Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"