A Honeymooners Income Tax Day: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 04-12-2014, 05:42 PM

A Honeymooners Income Tax Day:

(Ralph & Ed are at the Raccoon Lodge Meeting.)

Ralph: “How about our wives?”

Ed: “Yeah.”

Ralph: “This was one year that we did our taxes correctly and they criticized us for waiting until the last day to deliver them to the IRS.”

Ed: “Yeah. We said that we had a Raccoon Lodge meeting tonight. It would be easier for us to deliver them on our way home.”

Ralph: “Boy. Those wives of ours are so dumb.”

Ed: “They are not as smart as we are.”

Ralph: “Yes. After all, this meeting is going to end at 10. After that, we will deliver our taxes to the IRS.”

Ed: “And afterward, maybe we can celebrate by having some pizzas.”

Ralph: “I sure can eat one pizza pie tonight.”

Ed: “Only ONE?”

Ralph: “Don’t you start Norton. Don’t you start.”

(They go to the Raccoon meeting…that ends at 11:25p. They exit looking like madmen.)

Ralph: “Haminahamina. Haminahamina. WE GOT TO GO TO THE IRS OFFICE.”

Ed: “Don’t sweat it Ralph.”

Ralph: “What do you mean don’t sweat it? It will take us forever to get there with all the traffic.”

Ed: “Don’t worry. We will go the rest of the way by sewer. I know of the manhole that pops up right in front of the IRS.”

Ralph: “All right. We will go. That is the only way.”

(They go via the sewer.)

(Inside the sewer.)

Ed: “Ralph, THE TIDE IS COMING.”

(The tide comes and both of them get soaked.)

Ralph (yells): “NORTON, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. THIS WAS YORU FAULT FOR TALKING ME INTO DELIVERING THE TAXES AT THE LAST MINUTE.”

Ed (yells): “YEEEESH! WHAT A GROUCH!”

(They finally arrive at the IRS office with only a minute to spare. Ed gets out first. Ralph tries to get out but gets stuck.)

Ralph (yells): “NORTON! I AM STUCK! THROW THE TAXES INSIDE.”

Ed (yells): “I WILL. I WILL THROW THEM INSIDE LIKE LEBRON JAMES THROWS A BASKETBALL.”

(Ed “warms up.” Ralph notices.)

Ralph (yells): “WILL YOU THROW THEM IN?”

(Ed does.)

Ralph (yells): “NOW HELP ME.”

(Help arrives. Alice gets told of this and comes by.)

Alice: “Ralph, look at you. You are all wet and…hahahahahaha.”

Ralph (yells): “WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?...HAHAHAHAHAHA! BOY, I REALLY GOT INTO A JAM THIS TIME. HAHAHAHA.”

(The sketch ends. Jackie Gleason comes out. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT.”

(Audience cheers.)

04-12-2014, 05:42 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,072	A Honeymooners Income Tax Day: A Honeymooners Income Tax Day: (Ralph & Ed are at the Raccoon Lodge Meeting.) Ralph: “How about our wives?” Ed: “Yeah.” Ralph: “This was one year that we did our taxes correctly and they criticized us for waiting until the last day to deliver them to the IRS.” Ed: “Yeah. We said that we had a Raccoon Lodge meeting tonight. It would be easier for us to deliver them on our way home.” Ralph: “Boy. Those wives of ours are so dumb.” Ed: “They are not as smart as we are.” Ralph: “Yes. After all, this meeting is going to end at 10. After that, we will deliver our taxes to the IRS.” Ed: “And afterward, maybe we can celebrate by having some pizzas.” Ralph: “I sure can eat one pizza pie tonight.” Ed: “Only ONE?” Ralph: “Don’t you start Norton. Don’t you start.” (They go to the Raccoon meeting…that ends at 11:25p. They exit looking like madmen.) Ralph: “Haminahamina. Haminahamina. WE GOT TO GO TO THE IRS OFFICE.” Ed: “Don’t sweat it Ralph.” Ralph: “What do you mean don’t sweat it? It will take us forever to get there with all the traffic.” Ed: “Don’t worry. We will go the rest of the way by sewer. I know of the manhole that pops up right in front of the IRS.” Ralph: “All right. We will go. That is the only way.” (They go via the sewer.) (Inside the sewer.) Ed: “Ralph, THE TIDE IS COMING.” (The tide comes and both of them get soaked.) Ralph (yells): “NORTON, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. THIS WAS YORU FAULT FOR TALKING ME INTO DELIVERING THE TAXES AT THE LAST MINUTE.” Ed (yells): “YEEEESH! WHAT A GROUCH!” (They finally arrive at the IRS office with only a minute to spare. Ed gets out first. Ralph tries to get out but gets stuck.) Ralph (yells): “NORTON! I AM STUCK! THROW THE TAXES INSIDE.” Ed (yells): “I WILL. I WILL THROW THEM INSIDE LIKE LEBRON JAMES THROWS A BASKETBALL.” (Ed “warms up.” Ralph notices.) Ralph (yells): “WILL YOU THROW THEM IN?” (Ed does.) Ralph (yells): “NOW HELP ME.” (Help arrives. Alice gets told of this and comes by.) Alice: “Ralph, look at you. You are all wet and…hahahahahaha.” Ralph (yells): “WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?...HAHAHAHAHAHA! BOY, I REALLY GOT INTO A JAM THIS TIME. HAHAHAHA.” (The sketch ends. Jackie Gleason comes out. Audience applauds.) Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT.” (Audience cheers.)