Sean Hayes Says He Owes Gay Community an Apology - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

JamesG · 10-28-2013, 04:09 PM

Sean Hayes Says He Owes Gay Community Apology for Coming Out Too Late
The Huffington Post | by Cavan Sieczkowski
10/28/13

Three years ago, Sean Hayes publicly came out as gay, but the former "Will & Grace" star thinks it wasn't soon enough.

In a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, the actor was asked about the controversy surrounding his "Will & Grace" character, Jack McFarland, and the fact that he might be "too gay."

"I was so young," Hayes said. "It made me go back in the closet [with the media] because I was so overwhelmed at 26 or 27. I didn't want the responsibility, I didn't know how to handle the responsibility of speaking for the gay community. I always felt like I owed them a huge apology for coming out too late.

Some people in the gay community were very upset with me for not coming out on their terms. They don't stop to think about what's going on in somebody's personal life, and the struggles that they're having. It was all very scary. We got death threats. It was a really rough time for me, but I was also having the time of my life."

The 43-year-old faced years of criticism from The Advocate and other media outlets following the debut of the show in 1998 for his failing to address the "open secret" that was his sexual orientation, Us Weekly previously noted.

But in 2010, Hayes defended himself in an interview with The Advocate saying: “I am who I am. I was never in, as they say. Never." Adding, “I feel like I’ve contributed monumentally to the success of the gay movement in America, and if anyone wants to argue that, I’m open to it. You’re welcome, Advocate.”

Now, in his new NBC series, "Sean Saves the World", he plays a single gay father raising a teenage daughter. Although the plotline may be progressive, he claims he isn't trying to tout any message about gay parenthood, even though he is more honest about his own lifestyle nowadays.

"I want to make people laugh first, and that's it," he explained to the LA Times. "If a byproduct of that is enlightening somebody to something they wouldn't otherwise have been exposed to, then great, but that's certainly not the agenda or the intent of the show."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/1..._4169745.html?

McGillicuddy · 10-28-2013, 07:26 PM

I admire him, Neil Patrick Harris and Matt Bomer!

Ant-Lox · 12-27-2013, 05:33 PM

He put too much pressure on himself. Him coming out on his terms was up to him.

HuntingtonM15 · 12-27-2013, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ant-Lox

He put too much pressure on himself. Him coming out on his terms was up to him.

Agreed. He doesn't owe anyone an apology.

70s show watcher · 12-27-2013, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HuntingtonM15

Agreed. He doesn't owe anyone an apology.

i agree he he does not owe anyone anything

king of comedy · 12-28-2013, 09:05 AM

He shouldn't be ashamed. He is who he is.

loaferman · 12-30-2013, 03:02 PM

A good percentage, perhaps even a high percentage of actors are gay. It hasn't hurt anyone who came out in the last how many years? Viewers know a good number of the actors are, so it is not exactly a shock. I just want a good show that does not push agendas, I could care less what the actors do at home. Of course what they reveal about their private lives is up to them and the public should respect that regardless of whether they are straight or gay, in or out.
They are just doing their jobs, why do so many people care what they do in private?

retrofan05 · 12-31-2013, 12:00 AM

If anything, the gay community owes him an apology for pushing him to come out when he wasn't ready. Coming out can very difficult and everyone handles it differently. If a person is struggling with whether or not to come out, force is never the solution.

OH Nuts! · 12-31-2013, 01:08 AM

He doesn't owe an apology to anyone, except maybe himself--and only if he WANTED to come out sooner but was too afraid.

We the viewing public, owe him a rousing ovation for the magnificent job he did with the role. A very very ultra-talented actor.

loaferman · 12-31-2013, 10:07 AM

Some segments of the gay community are getting way too radical. Nobody should feel pressured to reveal their private life if they do not want to.

Will and Grace Fanatic · 12-31-2013, 07:23 PM

He had no obligation to come out at all. It is a personal choice on when you decide to come out. If you are comfortable to come out in high school that is fine and you you decide to come out when you are 80 that is fine too. You have to be comfortable with yourself to do this.

king of comedy · 01-01-2014, 09:43 AM

That's true.

cleverfun3000 · 01-02-2014, 12:54 AM

He should most definitely apologize for coming out too late. He should have announced it the second he step foot on the set. You can't have it both ways, Sean!

retrofan05 · 01-02-2014, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cleverfun3000

He should most definitely apologize for coming out too late. He should have announced it the second he step foot on the set. You can't have it both ways, Sean!

Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins.

loaferman · 01-02-2014, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cleverfun3000

He should most definitely apologize for coming out too late. He should have announced it the second he step foot on the set. You can't have it both ways, Sean!

He is entitled to his private life as he wants it. He stepped foot on the set as an actor and did his job. That is all he owed anyone in the tv biz or the public.
I did not care for the show and I'm straight, but I'm not going to judge the man he makes his own decisions.

10-28-2013, 04:09 PM	#1
JamesG Freakshow Moderator Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 01, 2008 Location: Brooklyn, NY Posts: 57,129	Sean Hayes Says He Owes Gay Community an Apology Sean Hayes Says He Owes Gay Community Apology for Coming Out Too Late The Huffington Post \| by Cavan Sieczkowski 10/28/13 Three years ago, Sean Hayes publicly came out as gay, but the former "Will & Grace" star thinks it wasn't soon enough. In a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, the actor was asked about the controversy surrounding his "Will & Grace" character, Jack McFarland, and the fact that he might be "too gay." "I was so young," Hayes said. "It made me go back in the closet [with the media] because I was so overwhelmed at 26 or 27. I didn't want the responsibility, I didn't know how to handle the responsibility of speaking for the gay community. I always felt like I owed them a huge apology for coming out too late. Some people in the gay community were very upset with me for not coming out on their terms. They don't stop to think about what's going on in somebody's personal life, and the struggles that they're having. It was all very scary. We got death threats. It was a really rough time for me, but I was also having the time of my life." The 43-year-old faced years of criticism from The Advocate and other media outlets following the debut of the show in 1998 for his failing to address the "open secret" that was his sexual orientation, Us Weekly previously noted. But in 2010, Hayes defended himself in an interview with The Advocate saying: “I am who I am. I was never in, as they say. Never." Adding, “I feel like I’ve contributed monumentally to the success of the gay movement in America, and if anyone wants to argue that, I’m open to it. You’re welcome, Advocate.” Now, in his new NBC series, "Sean Saves the World", he plays a single gay father raising a teenage daughter. Although the plotline may be progressive, he claims he isn't trying to tout any message about gay parenthood, even though he is more honest about his own lifestyle nowadays. "I want to make people laugh first, and that's it," he explained to the LA Times. "If a byproduct of that is enlightening somebody to something they wouldn't otherwise have been exposed to, then great, but that's certainly not the agenda or the intent of the show." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/1..._4169745.html? Attached Images

12-27-2013, 05:33 PM	#3
Ant-Lox Cloud Watcher Senior Member Join Date: Feb 18, 2004 Location: Philadelphia, PA Posts: 1,824	He put too much pressure on himself. Him coming out on his terms was up to him.
	__________________ Currently Watching: Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Sports Allegiances Philadelphia 76ers Philadelphia Flyers Philadelphia Phillies Philadelphia Eagles Detroit Red Wings New York Football Giants

12-30-2013, 03:02 PM	#7
loaferman Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 23, 2011 Location: Virginia Posts: 642	A good percentage, perhaps even a high percentage of actors are gay. It hasn't hurt anyone who came out in the last how many years? Viewers know a good number of the actors are, so it is not exactly a shock. I just want a good show that does not push agendas, I could care less what the actors do at home. Of course what they reveal about their private lives is up to them and the public should respect that regardless of whether they are straight or gay, in or out. They are just doing their jobs, why do so many people care what they do in private?
	__________________ “It was ‘Will and Grace,’ it was the social media. Literally. That’s what changed peoples’ attitudes. That’s why I was so certain that the vast majority of people would embrace and rapidly embrace” gay marriage, Biden said. “Think behind of all that, I bet you 85 percent of those changes, whether it’s in Hollywood or social media are a consequence of Jewish leaders in the industry. The influence is immense, the influence is immense." -Vice President Joe Biden May 2013

12-31-2013, 07:23 PM	#11
Will and Grace Fanatic be happy Senior Member Join Date: Feb 15, 2002 Location: seattle, washington Posts: 2,746	He had no obligation to come out at all. It is a personal choice on when you decide to come out. If you are comfortable to come out in high school that is fine and you you decide to come out when you are 80 that is fine too. You have to be comfortable with yourself to do this.
	__________________ love is love

10-28-2013, 07:26 PM	#2
McGillicuddy Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 28, 2002 Posts: 5,179	I admire him, Neil Patrick Harris and Matt Bomer!

12-28-2013, 09:05 AM	#6
king of comedy Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Aug 31, 2012 Location: New Jersey Posts: 5,140	He shouldn't be ashamed. He is who he is.

12-31-2013, 12:00 AM	#8
retrofan05 Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 25, 2009 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,111	If anything, the gay community owes him an apology for pushing him to come out when he wasn't ready. Coming out can very difficult and everyone handles it differently. If a person is struggling with whether or not to come out, force is never the solution.

12-31-2013, 01:08 AM	#9
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	He doesn't owe an apology to anyone, except maybe himself--and only if he WANTED to come out sooner but was too afraid. We the viewing public, owe him a rousing ovation for the magnificent job he did with the role. A very very ultra-talented actor.

12-31-2013, 10:07 AM	#10
loaferman Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 23, 2011 Location: Virginia Posts: 642	Some segments of the gay community are getting way too radical. Nobody should feel pressured to reveal their private life if they do not want to.

01-01-2014, 09:43 AM	#12
king of comedy Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Aug 31, 2012 Location: New Jersey Posts: 5,140	That's true.

01-02-2014, 12:54 AM	#13
cleverfun3000 Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 18, 2008 Location: Manhattan Posts: 1,685	He should most definitely apologize for coming out too late. He should have announced it the second he step foot on the set. You can't have it both ways, Sean!