TBH quotes

[treky]

I'm sure a lot of us have favorites-let's hear some (well, not hear of course rather type them) I got this idea from someone who did this on the GILLAGINS ISLAND board.

I'll start:
(from the unaired pilot)

Pearl: "Jed, Elly May come runnin' over ta my place an' said ya' sold th' swamp ta' some oil compny."
Jed: "Yea ah' guess ah' did."
Pearl:"What'd they pay ya' fer it?"
Jed: "They ain't paid me nothin' yet."
Pearl: "Well how much they gonna pay ya?"
Jed: "Now Pearl, you know thet ol' swamp ain't worth shucks."
Pearl: "Jed Clampett, ya got slickered an' you're 'shamed ta' admit it!"
Granny: "Thets jus' what ah tol' him."
Pearl: "Granny, how much they gonna pay him?"
Jed: "Allright ah'll tell ya. That Brewster fella said somewhere twixt' twenty-fave an' a hunnert."
Pearl: "Twenty-fave an' a hunnert? Dollars?"
Jed: "Ah know it don't soun' like much but he seemed ta place great store in th' fac' that he's gonna pay me in some new kin' o dollars."
Pearl: "New kin' o'...Jed they AIN'T no new kin' o' dollars."
Jed: "Well they's new ta me. Ah heard o' gold dollars, silver dollars, paper dollars...but he said he was gonna pay me in...what'd he call them Granny?"
Granny: "Million...dollars"
Pearl: "Twenty-fave million dollars?"
Jed: "Yea. Here, he wrote it all down on this paper. (slides her over a paper)
(Pearl picks it up and reads it) "Granny, fetch me th' jug."
Granny "It's empty but ah'll go fetch some."
Jed: "Ah'll go" (gets up and heads for the door)
(Pearl gets up and turns to him)
Pearl: "Jed you're a millionaire. A million-aire!"
Jed:"Yea, thet's what Mr.Brewster kep' sayin'. Ah didn't quite know how ta take it."

[biffbronson]

Here's a quote referring to the Bradley sisters from Hooterville:

Jethro: "I'll marry Billie Jo one day, and Bobbie Jo the next!"

Granny running against Mrs. Drysdale:

Clampetts:

"Here's your choice for Possum Queen
Granny, Granny
She don't ride no limousine
Granny all the way!"

[Ohio8]

Jed's catch phrase: "Wellllllll doggies!"

[William Hogan Jr]

There is a funny scene in "The Cat Burgler" where Granny opens her dresser in her room and gets a shocking furry surprise! Granny: Aaaah! There's a whole cat family in my nightgown drawer! Hilarious!

[missy's pop pop]

I don't remember the title of the episode, but there was an episode where Granny was nursing a beatnik after taking pity on him when he appeared outside the mansion:

GRANNY: "I feel so sorry for him. All he does is sit in his bed and bang those little toy drums (bongos)."

[Ohio8]

Jed (to Mr. Drysdale): "If that little old woman ever goes to throwin' lead at you, you'd be castin' a polka dot shadah."

Jed: " For a city feller he sure runs fast."

[Ohio8]

Pearl: "Where's the kitchen, Jed?"
Granny: "I'll show ya."
(They go into the kitchen.)
Jed: "32 rooms in this house, and somethin' tells me they ain't gonna be big enough."

(in the kitchen.)
Pearl: "Well, a person could feed an army in here!"
Granny: "The way those two young 'uns of yours eat, that's just what you'll have to do."

Pearl: "I declare. I'm just speechless."
Granny: "That'll be the day."

Pearl: "My baby's been carried off by the gypsies."
Granny: "Don't worry, Pearl. One meal and they'll carry him right back."

Granny: "Elly, you get rid of the ants. I'll start with the cookin'."
Elly: "What ants?"
Granny: "Start with your aunt Pearl."

Pearl: "How do you like that?"
Granny: "I'll bet you you won't like what I'm gonna say next."

[Ohio8]

Jed: "A thing like that could only happen in America."

[treky]

Miss Jane: "I suppose Jethro went to Eaton?"
Jed: "If know Jethro, he went ta eatin' as soon as he was born."


The Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies.
Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?"
sales clerk: "Madam, those are rubies."
Granny: "OK, ask her kin we buy one from her."
sales clerk : "The ruby I am talking about is not a lady."
Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her k/in we buy one from her."

[Ohio8]

Granny: "Boys is boys and girls is girls, city or country."

[AB]

Cousin Pearl: Jethro, why don't you try usin' your head for thinkin'?
Jethro Bodine: I HAVE tried Ma, and it hurts.

[Ohio8]

Jed: "Is that a fact?"

[Ohio8]

Jed: "You hear that, Granny?"
Granny: "Yeahh. And I still don't believe it."

[Ohio8]

Granny: "Politicians are a rich man's tool."

[MA]

Jane Hathaway:
When the other little kids played hide and seek, Little Milby started his first business.

Milburn Drysdale:
Every kid had a lemonade stand.

Jane Hathaway:
He opened a pawn shop!